Been a while since I have been back. This forum seriously saved my sanity during my divorce. You guys all deserve a clap on the back.
I have been doing alright lately. Ex is still playing games, but luckily, just about everyone see's through it. We were at a Lacrosse game for my son last weekend, I was chatting with another players Mom who went to school with my brother. My ex marched up at one point, leaving her new baby (yes she had a baby) and husband in their chairs, asked me about pictures or something then marched away, all the while glaring at this young gal I was talking to (mind you, I have a girlfriend, been with her for several years now). The gal looked at me and said "Let me guess? Ex-wife?" I said "Yep, how can you tell?" She said "I am a very intuitive person, always have been, has saved my life a few times. That woman is a walking conflction, plus the daggers she stared at me didn't help her case much." I just kind of chuckled and said "Sadly, she is an angry person. She isn't the person I married, but definitely the person I divorced." We both laughed about that.
It's funny, I read it over and over about a wayward wife's script, how they do things, how they all do the same thing and I can't believe how accurate it really is. It just blows me away how they all act the same.
Anyway, I am doing well. Just wanted to say hello to everyone and I will try to post more.
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
I just find it amazing that the person that cheated and left and basically got their way still wants high conflict to continue. It just shows how disordered they are.
Hey EyeTie, it's good to see you re-emerge. I used to read up on your threads, and it reminded me so much of my XW's behavior. They seem to be cut from the same cloth.
Did you ever regain 50/50 custody of your kids through the courts?
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
Sadly, I spent almost 11K on legal fee's in the last year. The best I was able to get, was 50/50 during the summer and every other weekend during the school year. It's insane to me, that I could show proof that she was lying (23 out of 30 statements in her "sworn statement"), showed that she was in contempt by not following the judges custody agreement and provide letters from doctors, schools, daycare, etc and still lose. When the only evidence she provided was her statements, nothing backing them except one psych report that was proven false (she rescinded permission for another one to be done, which the judge was aware of).
I never thought we would have gotten to that point, but once again, the further I am away from her, the more horrible of a person I see that she is.
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
I'm sorry to hear that. If you don't mind my asking, how was she able to win? Luckily I was spared from court in my D, and only did mediation, but that just makes no sense to me.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
The state I am in, is notoriously known as a woman's state. The county I am in, is even worse.
For instance, before our divorce a few years ago. There was a couple that was divorcing, the judge just needed to sign off on it. Everything was decided before hand, mediation and lawyers. The kids would live with the Dad during the week and every other weekend, the mom would have them every other weekend and a few hours during the week after school.
During the trial, the judge discussed a domestic abuse situation against the husband, that had happened several years before hand. It was dropped, the wife was an admitted alcoholic and actually got in trouble for filing false police reports. At the time of the trial, she was living in a 1/2 way house (at least for another 6 months) due to multiple DUI's and other drinking offenses. Hence the reason she had limited custody of the kids, because of her track record, sobriety was a fight. The Dad kept the house, bought her out, etc. The judge then decided, that obviously the Dad did something to deserve the Mom calling the cops years ago and that the judge didn't feel he was punished enough. He then decided that the Dad now will have supervised visit's only, on Saturday's with the kids at his cost (to pay the supervisor for being there) and the kids will live with the Mom full-time. Her lawyer argued that she couldn't have the kids full time due to living in the 1/2 way house and what not. The judge just waived it off and said "She can figure it out..." Both lawyers went back to the judge and he yelled at them, claiming that his decision was final and that is all there is to it. He then threatened the husband saying "if your counsel keeps it up, I will take away YOUR house and give it to HER! So then YOU will have to find a place to live!" Never mind that the title of the home was in his name, that he had already bought her out, that he had a mortgage on it in his name, the judge didn't care.
That was the same judge that heard my case. Even though my ex provided absolutely nothing as evidence against me, the judge still ruled against me. She didn't have to answer any questioning, she didn't have to explain any of her actions, it was all on me dancing the gauntlet with my lawyer. I followed everything in our divorce decree to a "T", she picked and chose what she wanted to follow. Anytime my lawyer pointed out her lies, the judge would look at us and say "Well, why would she lie about that? What is your reasoning to think that?" We would submit proof and he would glance at it and say "That still didn't answer my question! Why would SHE lie to ME?" Finally my lawyer snapped and said "Your honor, no disrespect, but you are asking us why she lied, why not ask her? She is right there?" The judge freaked out on him, threatened to hold him for 30 days in contempt and that was that.
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016
Oh my god. That judge is completely unfit for the bench. I'd file a complaint with the local bar association. One complaint may not do much but if everybody filed complaints maybe someone would look into their fitness for the job.
On the other hand - if it's any consolation, now that she has the "win" and I assume the financial benefits that go with being the primary custodian, it's pretty common for them to be happy to let you take the kids for more and more time as they figure out the burden of childcare is on them.
