I have an uncle like that. He can’t stand being around a lot of people. We once went hiking and literally saw 6 people in 4 hours and he said “see this is why I never go hiking on weekends anymore”. But he’s always looking to help fix things for his family. If I go there he will try to fix my car instead of socializing with everyone. It’s his way of saying he cares but can’t be around too many people. Funny thing is my aunt is super social but the arrangement works well because they get each other.
I like that I’m learning more about him and we are becoming closer. He is good in social situations and crowds, he just needs to recharge I’m learning. I invited him a few places this weekend he can’t make, but he’s going to take care of my dog when I’m away at my my BBQ. He is such a great guy overall. I do love him to bits. But a little more about me......
I’m pretty much a blonde! I’ve been transitioning from dark brown and I sat in a salon last night after work for over 3 hours. It looks great. It’s weird when I walk past a mirror. I love it though, it helps with the grays and my thin my hair sitch. It’s getting long again too.
I am doing Murph-the Memorial Day CrossFit workout in about an hour. I wasn’t going to do it, but they talked me into it. Please pray for me, lol.
And something that means a lot. We had our huddle at work yesterday and after our huddle, my boss pulled me and our other care manager aside. She told us that both of us plus our Social worker make the best team on the hardest floor. That we changed the culture of the floor and we mesh so well and changed our social worker ( she was not happy) until we came along. She just wanted to tell us we were doing a fantastic job. It meant a whole lot to hear. We bust our butts, but it’s not going unrecognized. We really al work wonderfully together and that makes for the best outcomes for our patients. It’s notoriously the most difficult floor in our whole hospital, but the nurses are great and switched over to a younger crowd, and we came in. We actually enjoy ourselves at work and are always laughing and always have each other’s back.
today I’m bringing D11 to the mall with a friend ( alsonpray for me) tomorrow a BBQ, and Monday to the pool. The weather is finally fantastic here. Have a great weekend everyone!
Because guys could be clueless sometimes, I had said Saturday was going to be beautiful and I would love a day date. He suggested kayaking and then going out to dinner for my birthday.
I had also told my friend maybe if she’s interested me and her husband ( our birthdays are 2 days apart) can go to winery. She got back to me and did ask her husband and they do want to go.
I dug myself a hole here. It’s a great opportunity to meet my friends ( he knows I’ve been wanting that) and still a lot of fun.
Am I going to upset him if I suggest we go to the winery since it is a time we could all get together and we can definitely go kayaking another day?
I’m so dumb. Ugh
I was afraid he wasn’t going to make it for his Sons call Saturday night so he opted no BBQ at my friends ( it was far away) my D11 has been sick and she didn’t want to go to the BBQ e because she was up at night crying from the sinus pressure. So I cancelled the BBQ and grilled at home. I invited him and he came for a few hours and set up gates in my yard so my dog could run free and I could just let him out. It’s pretty amazing . Always working on a project, that one. We will most likely get together tomorrow night. I took D11 and her friend to the mall on Saturday ( I am now broke) and her and her friend to the pool on Sunday. It’s kind of my ex to share his passes so that I can take D11. It’s an awesome pool and I look forward to enjoying some more time there . I think M and I are hanging out tomorrow.
Any advice on how to handle my stupid dilemma is appreciated
I know that it's still almost a week away but pivoting away from the choice that you already agreed to may be annoying to him. Especially if he's the sort like me who plans things out, makes reservations etc.
He'll survive no doubt - but it would cast a shadow.
Best to see if he's open to the "idea" of switching things up.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I can see both J9 and Andrew's sides on their responses. The logical and rational side of me agrees with J9 that it is your birthday so if you want to go to the winery with your friends you totally should. I would go one step further to say that if that does annoy M that would give me a little pause because it doesn't sound like there is some big elaborate kayak trip plan in the works that you all have been working on for months. You mentioned the weather, somewhat casually, and he responded with an idea that you agreed to. The real side of me, though, the side that is a HUGE planner and does not easily relinquish control when I have a plan in motion, sees Andrew's side. In fact, I have been in a similar situation to yours more than once that gave me some level of anxiety because I had plans and what someone else wanted to do didn't mesh. For future reference, what I have started doing with Sparky is if I have something specific in mind, I will say "how does x,y,z sound?" and then kind of let it be his choice though I gave him the idea. Or I'll just flat out ask if we could do such and such. In this case, if I were in your shoes, I would say, "hey M, I know we talked about kayaking this weekend, but I was talking to friend and we got to talking about this winery we'd like to go to and since her birthday is around the same time as mine, we thought it might be fun to do a double date there and celebrate our birthdays." Then, after that exchange, offer an alternative time for the kayak trip and that way he knows you are not totally blowing off his idea, but just moving it.
I'm like Andrew and I'm a planner, so honestly I would already have something planned for your birthday and there wouldn't be any question about it, so it would kind of hurt my feelings if the other person wanted to change things up. BUT, if M hasn't got anything set in stone, maybe a suggestion from you might ease his mind a bit....if that makes sense.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Hey G. I am a little concerned that you don't feel as if you could just ask him. If you really want to go with your friends..ask him if he would mind a change of plans. If you would rather go with him... ask your friends if they would mind.
I worry sometimes that you, after all this time with him, still feel a bit unsure.
While I would never tell you to say something that may hurt his feelings, I do think you should be able to discuss things with him without fear of losing him, ya know?
In my marriage, I had to walk on eggshells. It was what I knew how to do. Getting to a place where I can share my thoughts freely was difficult. And the truth is, that sometimes it still is. But I push thru it because it is so important.
I know you want to do things differently this time around...but be careful not to lose you in the process.
My guess is that he would be fine either way. We worry way more than we need to.
I worry sometimes that you, after all this time with him, still feel a bit unsure.
While I would never tell you to say something that may hurt his feelings, I do think you should be able to discuss things with him without fear of losing him, ya know?
BINGO
I totally agree with uR!
He is a guy - he should like whatever makes you happy!
He is a guy - he should like whatever makes you happy!
Huh???? What????? Perhaps this was sarcasm and I missed it? If not please explain why a guy should like whatever the woman wants or is made happy by?
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
