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Wow, thank you R2C.... I have a lot of reading to do (and my copy of DR showed up today)

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A third of the way thru the book, may finish it tonight.

Has anyone used the Coaching Call service? How did you like it? Was it really useful?
How often is a call normally scheduled? Monthly? Bi-Weekly?

This book is great, but translating it just for an MLC.... I want to make sure I get it right.

Thanks,

-SoloFlex

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Originally Posted by SoloFlex
Has anyone used the Coaching Call service? How did you like it? Was it really useful?
How often is a call normally scheduled? Monthly? Bi-Weekly?-SoloFlex
I used it.

You could come up with a list of questions, sign up for one session and see what you think.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Originally Posted by SoloFlex
Has anyone used the Coaching Call service? How did you like it? Was it really useful?

Yes.

I had two sessions in 2008 with Jodie. I don't think she's there anymore.

It was helpful. Particularly in the first few weeks post bomb.

Only years into it did I realise my wife was having a midlife crisis. My strategy may well have differed had I known from the outset that I was dealing with.


Me: 46
W: 46
T: 23
M: 20
DS12
DD11
DS5

W left: 01/28/08
Discovered OM: 02/26/08
W back for 9 days: 04/08
W returned 05/21/08
EA/PA - 01/08-07/09
W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
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Hey solo!
Congrats on making progress through the book. There are some very helpful nuggets in there.

. I had some coaching calls and they were very helpful... for me... not for the marriage. My ex h was and still is in MLC. As you may have read, there really is nothing you can do to move the crisis along. Nothing. While the coaching calls were helpful, nothing I learned would help to “work” on the marriage. My coach, did however, give me personal advice and helped me frame things so that I could move forward on my own and clean up my side of the street and that was immensely helpful.

If your wife is in MLC, the coaching may not help you to work on the marriage, but it could be helpful for you as an individual.
I personally found my DB coach more helpful than my ic.

Good luck.

Last edited by Pax_luv; 05/14/19 07:11 PM.

Me- 30's H- 40's
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I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15
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I am pre BD. Kinda frustrated I’d like to try the coaching but don’t think I could hide the spending part from W.

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Originally Posted by unchien
I am pre BD. Kinda frustrated I’d like to try the coaching but don’t think I could hide the spending part from W.


Do you have cash? Buy prepaid visa card at walmart (First confirm you can pay for coaching with visa card).


You can also buy burner phone if wife is all up in your business on your normal phone.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Originally Posted by unchien
I am pre BD. Kinda frustrated I’d like to try the coaching but don’t think I could hide the spending part from W.


Do you have cash? Buy prepaid visa card at walmart (First confirm you can pay for coaching with visa card).


You can also buy burner phone if wife is all up in your business on your normal phone.

Thanks for the advice. Phone is not an issue, but I tend not to carry much cash. Will have to think about this one...

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SoloFlex,

Here are those "stages" from Hearts Blessing that we were telling you about

Have a look at the link - all of her stuff is simply priceless and helped me no end.

She had a "sermon" thread somewhere too. There will definitely be a way you can find it.

Best,
GH31


Me: 46
W: 46
T: 23
M: 20
DS12
DD11
DS5

W left: 01/28/08
Discovered OM: 02/26/08
W back for 9 days: 04/08
W returned 05/21/08
EA/PA - 01/08-07/09
W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
Joined: May 2019
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Originally Posted by GH31
SoloFlex,

Here are those "stages" from Hearts Blessing that we were telling you about

Have a look at the link - all of her stuff is simply priceless and helped me no end.

She had a "sermon" thread somewhere too. There will definitely be a way you can find it.

Best,
GH31


Hey GH,
I found Hearts Blessing website (LOL, I thought it was a poster here)..... wow. I dropped the book and have been reading all her articles nonstop since this afternoon when I found it....... WoW.
Completely flipped my lid about expectation, why stand, and how God fits into all of it.
Easily the most powerful stuff I've read yet (and still reading right now).

Now I understand WHY the M is dead (totally breaks my heart), WHY I have to grow NOW, and that it will just never be the same (this completely floors me). All this pain to grow, then we get a new mess to support and heal when it's all over (maybe), and after all that...... accept it's a choice for me and for W to stay together each day. That freaking [censored]. One of the things I LOVED about my M (and I guess will soooo miss forever) is the absolute peace, trust and certainty that I thought was eternal. That aspect is gone, and will never return. That is so mind-blowing sad. My W once asked my what was the best part of our M: I replied "Peace. While everyone else turns in the wind, and revels in their dramas.... we are the calm lakes and still waters. It is a beauty most will never know". HA..... it's a beauty I won't know again!!! "Oh you're doing something weird"..... [detaches emotions]. *BANG!!!* One of the things I thought I knew about love was being open and absolutely vulnerable to your spouse. It was the trust that they wouldn't kill you which was a type of intimacy and trust shared only to one. Once detachment skills are strong I wonder if that too will be gone forever.

[Sigh]

-SoloFlex

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