Now that I'm sure there is a PA, a weight has been lifted it seems. I spent the evening with her and had a good time, and now I'm heading out to GAL as usual. I still feel like I want to stick a fork in it. In the meantime I'll just let them destroy their comfortable lives a little more.
May: discover PA April: MC pending IC, back in MBR, discover EA March: different bedrooms, IC Jan 19: ILYBINILWY
Is it punitive or detachment oops to step back and watch them go through with their lives, having the unknown of the bith of you coming out the other side of this, possibly on the same side, and possibly not? Just a thought of mine. Either way, we have to keep moving forward with our lives, the clock doesn't go backwards. I can understand the weight being lifted, probably because you trusted you're own intuition and you were right.
Just make sure you don't snoop. If you feel there is a PA or EA, there is. Keep working on you. Plan short term daily goals. Don't let the situation start spinning in your head. Detach, detach, detach. Love yourself and do what makes you happy.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
oops, I feel for you man. Reading your last post brought tears to my eyes and I'm a guy they rarely cries. I hate that you're going through this, that anyone has to go through this. It does hurt. It is painful. Hang in there. Let your brain think through the emotions. Don't let it think because of the emotions.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Im doing my best to not let this consume me, but I am in so much pain. The worst part is knowing that as much as people say its not my fault, that it kind of is. I took her for granted and I didnt grow up in time. I didnt make her do it technically, but I have to change. I just wish I had done it sooner. Im so broken. None of my selfishness was worth it. This pain outweighs all the pleasure I ever took for myself. Theres no way I can compare to the other guy with my track record. Im so ashamed and remorseful. I miss her so much and its my fault when you get down to it. I failed her and failed myself. This is the only thing thats ever made me cry as an adult and I can't stop. Shes intertwined her aoul with someone better and left me behind. What little light I had has gone from my life.
Last edited by oops13; 05/05/1912:06 PM.
May: discover PA April: MC pending IC, back in MBR, discover EA March: different bedrooms, IC Jan 19: ILYBINILWY
Hey oops, I feel your pain. Get those sad feeling out and try to recompose yourself. Please, don’t read all with a black or white criteria. Listen, I was a WWH some time ago. That’s why I’m here. I lost respect for my family and being here helps me walk some dignity restored road. W having an AP with a married man is not quite honorable IMHO...
Time to compose yourself and get your respect back. Feelings now are overwhelming. Take your time, regain calm. Get in contact with your inner self. Stand for your values and start the walk. Forward.
Keep reading the DB basics. They are for you. Keep posting your future movements. You may think your sitch is original but WWs actions are really ordinary stuff. Affair fog is thick as smoke. You can’t see through. I was there.
Stand strong oops. Keep DB.
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
Im doing my best to not let this consume me, but I am in so much pain. The worst part is knowing that as much as people say its not my fault, that it kind of is. I took her for granted and I didnt grow up in time. I didnt make her do it technically, but I have to change. I just wish I had done it sooner. Im so broken. None of my selfishness was worth it. This pain outweighs all the pleasure I ever took for myself. Theres no way I can compare to the other guy with my track record. Im so ashamed and remorseful. I miss her so much and its my fault when you get down to it. I failed her and failed myself. This is the only thing thats ever made me cry as an adult and I can't stop. Shes intertwined her aoul with someone better and left me behind. What little light I had has gone from my life.
Cadet posted something once that was along the lines of "we don't change until the pain of changing is less than the pain of staying the same". And it's true 99% of the time.
I challenge you to look at the bright side of this. There IS a bright side here. If you choose to focus on it you will start to feel better.
I've been there and done that and I promise you it will get better.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
