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W,

There is nothing you can do to stop it you just have to let go. Even if you DBed like a champion this would most likely be the end result. You will see things much clearer down the road. I think right now you have to get back to the basics for your own emotional well being. Print of Sandi’s rules and read them once a day and follow them to a T. You want your man card back then you’re going to have to earn it. Starting right now every decision you make is what’s best for you and the kids. All your actions come from a place of strength and integrity. No responses to texts that are not about the children or finances.

All the great success stories on here are from people who decided they were going to learn everything they could on what it takes to have a great relationship so this will never happen to them again. I myself have read almost 50 books on relationships and understanding women and I probably have 50 more to go. You should start with No More Mr. Nice Guy. You have what’s known as Nice Guy Syndrome where you do things for people expecting something in return. The problem is the people have no idea what you’re looking for in return so your expectations are never met which in turn makes you try harder and is a never ending cycle.

Take a year to research and learn about healthy relationships, boundaries and just learn to love yourself and develop an awesome relationship with your kids before dating. If you’re not ready it will be a disaster. I just posted on another thread to a guy who wasn’t sure if he was in an exclusive relationship with a woman who lived far away and they only met twice and were not intimate. People clearly jump in way too fast.

Lastly, I know you want to have that last convo with her so when you do just make sure you put on your jock strap because you are going to get one more last kick in the nuts.

Here’s a quote on my computer screen: Change is painful, growth is painful but there is nothing more painful then staying where you don’t belong.

Stay strong my friend!

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Originally Posted by LH19
W

Lastly, I know you want to have that last convo with her so when you do just make sure you put on your jock strap because you are going to get one more last kick in the nuts.


What do you mean by this?

She was saying today how this is going to be financially hard. I said I k ow this is going to be real difficult. I wanted to say what the hell did you think this was going to be? After rereading Sandis words of wisdom on the 3 feelings they have. That is my w. Resentment, rebellion and disrespect. I felt like I was reading about my w. If only I would have found this at the beginning of our separation. I tried 3 other programs before this one. Yes paid programs. When I could have just bought her book and come on here. It’s so weird to think a year ago my w was planning a surprise 40 birthday party for me and we had an amazing time to a year later divorced. Who knows where I will be 1 year from now. Oh and by the way my dad just BD on my mom. Now they are getting divorced. How much more can I take??

IH I forgot to give you a shout out too for all your help!! Thanks

Last edited by Cadet; 05/03/19 11:27 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message

M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 703
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Wolfman Offline OP
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http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...ain=62205&Number=2847833#Post2847833

Here is the new thread. Please help. I am spinning out of control.


M:42 XW:41
T:19 M: 15
D:13 S:10
BD: 8/10/18
Moved out: 8/18
Moved in: 9/18/18
Moved out: 4/22/19
D papers signed 11/4/19
D final 3/18/20
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