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Vapo #2844891 04/08/19 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Vapo
Originally Posted by Manta

Funny is that APs EXGF lives in the same town, she is still scorned about what happened.


M8, so are you. You are still trying to make sense of it all. Newsflash, there is no sense to be made in this whole mess. And you trying to make sense of it is just a HUGE waste of time, that would be MUCH more wisely spent on improving yourself, and upgrading yourself to Manta 2.0. You are not even aware the potential you can unlock if you choose to work on yourself. Amazing stuff can happen, awesome people will be attracted into your life. But that is not going to happen, if you keep moping about.

Recognize the fact that she is on a journey of her own, and you have your journey to take. Delete her from your life, remove the photos, remove her stuff that reminds you of her, remove her music, her clothes, her gifts. Lock them away where you will not be bombarded daily with memories of her.

One more thing you should know. It is very likely you are looking at her with rose colored glasses. That means you are way over romanticizing the relationship. Your mood will swing and swing violently. First you will be thinking how you still love her and that you would do anything to get her back, desperatly trying to find that illusive silver bullet that will fix it all, and the next moment you will wbe screaming That Fcuking B*tch! from the top of your voice.

This also is normal.

Stay strong buddy and get your a$$ in gear.


Very very true. All very true. I've been this way in IHS for 6 months, and im ready to start gathering paperwork for D. I scream in the car on the way home, and then the next hour, I'm trying to find ways to make it work again. I just want a commitment, or I want out at this point. I have some trust issues because she wants to sell the house, and that trust issue with me cannot be rebuilt. I will never live with her again despite being a good person. So I might as well pull the trigger on D.

Last edited by IHCLACS; 04/08/19 04:01 PM.
Manta #2844909 04/08/19 05:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Manta
."I can do what i want now, not feel guilty... like play games on my phone all day, without feeling bad"...


WOW! I mean did that really sink in Manta? Now that she's gotten rid of the boat anchor that is you, she can pursue more lofty, worthwhile, meaningful goals. Such as playing games on her phone all day. Well I'm glad she was able to cut you out of her life so she can finally reach her full potential!

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I said was i controlling you, or did you feel i stopped you from doing the things you loved?


As you know I'm normally big on validating statements, but I think this is one of those times that validation isn't appropriate. I think the world's biggest eye roll would have been a better response. Seriously.

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Her AP will have to deal with a truckload of drama and craziness. He has no idea what is in store, now shes moved over.


Maybe. But maybe not. But PROBABLY. Anyway who cares. Let's here about how awesome Manta is.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Manta #2844913 04/08/19 05:37 PM
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Manta your're STBXW and my STBXW should join the candy crush club. And boy do I have a YouTube video for you regarding such. Guy was a total a-hole to his W and handled it wrong and was verbally abusive regarding her game playing, and leaving the house a dump, but did she deserve it.

Manta #2846381 04/22/19 05:26 PM
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Journaling 22/04/2019

So it's been 9 1/2 weeks since my WW contacted me last. I still haven't received any legal letters from her. Last time she messaged me, it was looking for my solicitor's address and contact details, also where to send that information.
Absolutely nothing since. All I know is she has left Ireland a few months ago to return to Germany, most likely living with her AP now.

Its mind boggling to think this A is going on since last June, Dday was last August, yet she still hasn't sent me any legal letters, considering she wanted a Divorce since late Sept. She ran away from all the problems she caused and doesn't want to face up to what she did. Maybe it's an avoidance of what she did and it's easier to be around AP, who will feed her ego.

I believe my wife is either really good at compartmentalizing everything, or else she has some serious issues and emotional immaturity. Is she vacillating and still can't make her mind up about pulling that trigger? I have no idea. I did make it clear to her in my last message if it's anything legal, to contact my solicitor anything else she can email me. She hasn't

My birthday will be coming up in a few weeks, I feel it's nearing now there 1 year anniversary.

What a year.

We are still legally married, yet we haven't spoken or seen each other in person since last September.

I have come so far in the last few months and been going out with my friends a lot more. They're very caring and understanding and all have said I'm looking my best in years, also they said it's great to see old Manta is back. That meant a lot to me.

I'm also getting female attention which is nice, alas my heart isn't ready yet for a new relationship yet, but it's good to know that I'm seen as an attractive man again and someone other women desire. My situation isn't as complicated as others here, but it's a very telling story of someone being cruelly cheated on, then afterward dealing with an Ice cold unremorseful WW who ran away from all the problems she caused.

I have a lot going on for me in my life, but this has left a very deep scar, that is still numb and raw. You feel very emasculated as a husband and dehumanized to a point where you feel was I worth anything at all to you, that you treated me this coldly/


I'm doing good guys and I will take action when the time comes. Right now I'm busy living and learning to love myself again. Happiness starts within.


BH: 36 WW:33
M: 2
Relationship: 6 years. Dday: Aug 2018
0
1st mention of D: 30/09, 2nd Mention 17/02/2019
LRT: Oct 2018
WW & AP: EA & PA since June 2018 (Moved country and in with AP Feb 2019)
Manta #2846392 04/22/19 06:38 PM
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Even though I'm sure it hurts to have her go no-contact on you like that, it's actually the best thing for you AND for her I think. I just keep thinking of my buddy who's W left him and moved in with OM and went no contact on him for 2 years. It took her that long to realize what she left behind. They are back together and happier than ever now. Life is crazy!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Even though I'm sure it hurts to have her go no-contact on you like that, it's actually the best thing for you AND for her I think. I just keep thinking of my buddy who's W left him and moved in with OM and went no contact on him for 2 years. It took her that long to realize what she left behind. They are back together and happier than ever now. Life is crazy!

Was she in an affair that whole time? How did she rengage and explain herself? How did he take her back?


BH: 36 WW:33
M: 2
Relationship: 6 years. Dday: Aug 2018
0
1st mention of D: 30/09, 2nd Mention 17/02/2019
LRT: Oct 2018
WW & AP: EA & PA since June 2018 (Moved country and in with AP Feb 2019)
Manta #2846401 04/22/19 07:38 PM
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Well, it’s cool to see the old Manta GALing. Keep that going man. Live into reality, face the future.

Keep walking M!


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
Manta #2846404 04/22/19 07:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Manta
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Even though I'm sure it hurts to have her go no-contact on you like that, it's actually the best thing for you AND for her I think. I just keep thinking of my buddy who's W left him and moved in with OM and went no contact on him for 2 years. It took her that long to realize what she left behind. They are back together and happier than ever now. Life is crazy!

Was she in an affair that whole time? How did she rengage and explain herself? How did he take her back?


She and my buddy had a home and a business together. She was kind of a typical WAS, she just decided she was done and wanted out. They sold the house and business and she immediately moved in with OM. This was before my sitch, so I knew nothing of DB'ing but my friend kind of came about it naturally. He just let her go and didn't look back. He went on to do his own thing. Partnered in another business. He never really dated, he's in his 60's and just didn't feel the need for it. Eventually she started texting him out of the blue asking how he was doing. They started texting more frequently and eventually started meeting to have coffee, then caught a movie here and there and basically started dating all over again. That went on for many months. They never had gotten divorced, eventually they moved back in together and just basically started a new R together.

I have another friend that did something very similar, but he and his W did get divorced and their time apart was way longer, like 10 or 12 years. Both had other relationships but then they reconnected and eventually remarried.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Manta #2846408 04/22/19 08:09 PM
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I know every situation is different. It's nice sometimes reading of happy endings, but in my case, I don't see it anymore with my WW.

I have given up on my WW returning or wanting to fix things between us. I wanted that, she didn't. Knowing we didn't even go to one MC session hurts even more, as she gave up on our marriage so quickly and easily

She has treated me like I never existed while she moves on in her life with AP.

The happy ending will be me moving on, being stronger and living an honest and fulfilling life on my own.

I don't think I will ever get married again. Maybe I might have a partner or something down the line, but right now i just want to heal and be happy with myself. I'm a good man and i know my value, so do others. I don't even hate WW, which is funny. I do still love her, however i did let her go and told her i wasn't going to beg or force her to stay if this is what she wanted. Maybe she never expected to get caught, but once she did, it was one way for her.


BH: 36 WW:33
M: 2
Relationship: 6 years. Dday: Aug 2018
0
1st mention of D: 30/09, 2nd Mention 17/02/2019
LRT: Oct 2018
WW & AP: EA & PA since June 2018 (Moved country and in with AP Feb 2019)
Manta #2848026 05/05/19 02:12 PM
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Journaling 05/05/19

Today is Manta's birthday. I'm 36 years old smile

What a crazy year it's been. This time last year WW and i shared a beautiful holiday together in Portugal. One year later WW cheated, left me for her AP and wants a Divorce.

I have been very busy GAL, detached still and moving on with lots of little projects. I have even gone on a date!!!

I'm getting a lot of attention from women at the moment since I lost all the weight and have been working out. My friends all say I seem so much happier and are very happy for me.

It's almost 3 months since WW contacted me last about the D. Still nothing filed and i haven't received any legal letters. 7 months she told me she wanted a D.

She recently has deleted her FB account, as she updated a few weeks ago (a friend told me) that she had moved to Germany. All of a sudden her FB is gone and have heard nothing since.

I'm spending my time with friends and family, busy at projects and work. I do still think of her, but I'm happier being away from all that pain and drama.

Manta is doing good. smile


BH: 36 WW:33
M: 2
Relationship: 6 years. Dday: Aug 2018
0
1st mention of D: 30/09, 2nd Mention 17/02/2019
LRT: Oct 2018
WW & AP: EA & PA since June 2018 (Moved country and in with AP Feb 2019)
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