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mikeyb Offline OP
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Went to the dentist today. Total cost to get what I need done: Over $9,000 can finance it at $252 a month. Ugh.....

Meanwhile, I get home from the dentist office and check the mail, found out the W opened a victorias secret credit card...


M(32) W(30)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
W Filed for D 3/3/2020
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 125
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mikeyb Offline OP
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Today was a pretty decent day, should be getting into a car by Monday. 2017 Chevy Cruze, at $230 less per month, also on my way home my local alternative rock station was doing a ticket drop so I stopped by there and won some free tickets to a concert next month smile now to find someone to go with me...


M(32) W(30)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
W Filed for D 3/3/2020
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,152
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Mikey, maybe explain your financial situation to the dentist and see if the work can be prioritized. That's a huge financial hit to absorb all at once, but perhaps some of the work that can be postponed a while.

Good deal on the car, glad to hear you're taking control of things again! Congrats on the tickets!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 125
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mikeyb Offline OP
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Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Mikey, maybe explain your financial situation to the dentist and see if the work can be prioritized. That's a huge financial hit to absorb all at once, but perhaps some of the work that can be postponed a while.

Good deal on the car, glad to hear you're taking control of things again! Congrats on the tickets!

Thanks, yea might be something I'll try and discuss with them.

So today I finalized everything for the car. Payments are $230 less and my insurance is $30 less so a total savings of $260 a month. The wedding loan has 5 more payments left so I'm getting close on that as well which will add another $150. Pretty excited, things are slowly turning around. I didn't quite want to get the car just yet, as I wanted to save and do the 401k loan, but with me driving the truck and spending over $100 a week in gas vs $40 I haven't been able to save and was having to start eating into what I did save just to get by. So I had to jump the gun, get the car while I had the money saved for the down payment and start fresh with saving toward the 401K loan. But this $260 a month plus fuel savings will help me get there quicker.


M(32) W(30)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
W Filed for D 3/3/2020
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 657
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Ever been to Lower Hillsborough Wilderness preserve?


Wow. This caught my eye! I know where that is! I've been looking for wilderness places to take D19 to over the summer.......


M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

H Moved out: 10/1/18
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 125
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mikeyb Offline OP
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Hope everyone had a great Easter! My day was pretty good, washed and cleaned the truck to get it ready for trading in tomorrow. Then just sat outside for a few hours and had a few drinks enjoying the wonderful Florida weather we had today.

Now I'm just relaxing a bit watching TV. The W was going to give me the car tomorrow during the day to take the dogs to the vet, she was supposed to drop it off in the morning after work, well then I get a text from her at 10pm saying she wanted to come by and do laundry. Guess she missed more work (she's been missing a lot, but not my problem) so Im assuming she's gonna stay here tonight. I dunno, she walked in and didn't say much to me, started her laundry then went into the guest room. But I guess tomorrow morning I'll get up and take the dogs to the vet, then later in the evening I'll be going to pick up my car and get rid of my truck. Pretty excited for that, things should start getting better now.


M(32) W(30)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
W Filed for D 3/3/2020
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 125
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mikeyb Offline OP
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Today I picked up my new (to me) car! First impressions, I love it! The whole buying process of getting it was the most simple and easy going car purchase I ever made. I bought the car through carvanna. Entire process was done online, trade appraisal, contract, etc... Come pickup time (could be delivered too) I showed up at my appointment, they quickly looked over my trade to make sure it was as described, signed some title paperwork. Then they gave me a big coin, that I dropped into this slot in the lobby. At which point the lights change colors in the lobby, and the vending machine kicks in and goes to get my car. Brings it down and places it in a bay. At which point I was given the key and free to drive away. I was there less than 15 minutes. shocked


M(32) W(30)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
W Filed for D 3/3/2020
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 125
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mikeyb Offline OP
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So the W and MIL came by today, we discussed who's going to take what in the house. She's planning to get a storage unit and needed to know what size she was going to get. So now that I know what's going where I can actually start packing my stuff up. She's putting in her notice to the landlord on the 1st, so that gives me 30 days. I don't have a place lined up do to inability to save having the truck, but now that I got the car I'll have a boost every month. Trying to set up a plan for me right now. My parents have a storage unit that they are going to clean out tonight or tomorrow to make room for my stuff, so no cost to store anything. And I'm trying to meet up with a close friend tomorrow for lunch to talk about me staying with him for a few months while I save some money to pay off this 401k loan and get another out. He's already told me I can stay there if it came down to it, just want to work out the details. As for my dogs and cat my parents have offered to take them while I stay at my friends until I get my own place.

So in general the puzzle pieces are starting to fall into place, didn't really want to burden my friend with me staying there but I don't really have much of a choice, I prolonged the inevitable as long as I could.


M(32) W(30)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
W Filed for D 3/3/2020
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 125
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mikeyb Offline OP
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Posts: 125
Additionally, the W and MIL are going through and filing out the papers for D. Hitting me pretty hard, but I'm pushing through it and giving her whatever info she needs. I guess she wants to go through with getting it filed this week. She mentioned about going to get them notarized next week. frown

Staying focused, trying to stay strong through this.


M(32) W(30)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
W Filed for D 3/3/2020
Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 125
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mikeyb Offline OP
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Joined: Jan 2019
Posts: 125
Just a vent/journaling post.

Sunday I was with my friend, we went out to lunch then I helped him with a landscaping project he's got going on. We talked about a plan for me to stay with him to help get me back on my feet. I got to say having him as a friend has been a blessing. He knows what I'm going through as he's been there himself. It's been good to have a great friend like that, when he was going through his D I was the same way, helping him get through it. Anyway, I'll be staying with him, my parents will take the pets for the time being, and I will store my stuff in their storage unit. So I'm good on that front.

While I was at my friend's we were discussing the situation, and this was the first time I had said it but it's how I'm really starting to feel. There is a part of me that still wants to work out the issues with my W, but there is an ever growing part of me that says NO! I'm starting to feel that after all the things she did, the ways that she has treated me since BD and the pain she has put me through, that I don't feel as if I could ever open myself back up to her, to allow myself the possibility of feeling that pain again. And if I did, I would always have that stuck in the back of my mind.

I feel myself getting closer and closer to the point that I can't wait for her to bring me those papers and just sign away this chapter of my life and begin the next. But I'm not 100% there yet, just much closer.


M(32) W(30)
Together 12yrs
Married 2yrs
ILYBNILWY 11/23/18
EA Discovered 3/20/19

In House separation 11/26/18 - 11/29/18 & 1/10/19-3/20/19
W Moved out 3/20/19
M Moved out 5/31/19
W Filed for D 3/3/2020
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