She is ready to go public - was tired of lying to people. She asked me what I was going to tell family and friends and I told her that was private, but was going to let them know what had happened ... she was upset (because she is afraid I will speak of the affairs) and said I shouldn't air out dirty laundry just to make me feel good about it. I said what happened to not lying??
Looking for opinions on what to say - should I state that she was unfaithful and that brought on trust issues?? really not sure ....
What you tell others is none of her business. If she wants to go public then she can't expect to control the narrative. This is typical WS/WAS crap.
I would do this: I would be clear with her that people will have questions, that the truth has a way of coming out, and that you will be confiding in those closest to you what has been occurring. But that when it comes to D15 you will NOT be outing her behavior. That for D15 you will keep it concise, and consistent. "Mom and Dad love you very much. None of this affects you. That while there are problems between the two of us, we are both still your parents and will continue to love and support you."
That's just me. However, I would guide you not to go scorched earth on her. If you have any desire to R with her in the future, remember every person you tell the "truth" is another person she has to rebuild her relationship with IF you ever R. And that can be a roadblock to R if you just across the board tell everyone she is a cheating cheater that cheats.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I do have to change the "none of this affects you" to your D. What I meant and worded it really poorly was that "none of it is because of you". Kids have a way of blaming themselves.
Obviously she is affected.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
so this morning I gave W a few dates where I had things going on .. a retirement party for someone at work, a baseball game and an evening going out with some friends. She blows up at me saying the calendar is getting too filled up with things I am doing and I am taking advantage of her ... from the women who goes out until 2AM and had a couple of things on the calendar as well ... I'm walking out the door to go to work while she is raging at me - I don't respond ...
she says she will talk to her lawyer about this and no way I will get co-parenting. Not sure, but might be a sign the the GAL is getting to her ....
Next time just put them on the calendar instead of telling her. And on the wrong month like she does Sometimes people here have those "angry" WAS's and let me tell you, there's no calming them down. You absolutely did the right thing in just walking out.
Been focused on GAL - spending a lot of time with D and getting things ready for summer in the yard. Have a question - and I'm sure it has been answered somewhere ... I know I am GALing for myself .. but what if any signs should I be looking for that it is making DB progress ... sometimes wonder if her anger towards me is some indication. My C suggested that the anger is a result of fear and sadness ... thoughts?
Sometimes people here have those "angry" WAS's and let me tell you, there's no calming them down. You absolutely did the right thing in just walking out.