Oh Andrew......here I thought I loved you and now you have dissed me not once, but twice in your post. I'm glad you made it safely, by the way. First of all, don't bother saying y'all in Maryland. Maryland is yankee land and they don't get it. If you can't get sweet tea and biscuits and gravy on a menu in any given restaurant you choose, you are NOT in the South. You have to come a little farther south to fit in with y'all. And, second, my dear, sweet, precious, lovely man.........why you have to diss my silver bullets like that? Coors Light IS beer. Now, see, here in LA (Lower Arkansas, for those of you not familiar with southern geography and not to be confused with the state abbreviation for Louisiana for those of you who are), a lot of rednecks and hillbillies prefer the Anheuser Busch offerings like Budweiser, Busch and Busch Light. Only those of us who are refined in our redneck-edness drink Coors or Coors Light. My dad is all in for Coors (the regular old gold can stuff) while my mom prefers the silver bullets of Coors Light, which I prefer as well. Really, I'm shaking my head, Andrew. But, just to make you feel a little better, if I could get it here, I would be soaking up some Molson every chance I got. It is good stuff. And, Tim Horton's is the bomb. So, I guess you are forgiven after all. Drop the y'all and learn to embrace the silver bullets and we'll be all good again. And, have fun. Glad B is having fun and it is so cute that y'all are missing each other. (See how easy it is to slip y'all into a sentence?)
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I'm a born "southern" Marylander and we say y'all all of the time. It's the northern part that says u'ins or some other such thing. It's all in where you live in Maryland because the north and south have ways of saying things differently, but mean the same thing. Also the accents are different between the two.
Glad you made it to Maryland safely. Coors Light???? Nasty stuff!!! Travel safely on to VA. The weather looks good for your trip. Hopefully you will arrive in Norfolk before storms move in this evening. Weather on Sunday could get a bit nasty in the evening with storms and gusty winds.
Are taking the scenic route of 301 or going down 95? The scenic route 301 has some nice vineyards if you had the time to stop in. There are signs along that route and some nice historic homes as well. If you don't have time to stop by some of them this time, you can always plan a day or so to visit them next trip.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Just a brief (for me) note. My drive in to Norfolk was painful. I went down 95 and then in via Hampton. Traffic south of DC was amazingly slow with emergency vehicles going all over. I hope everyone was OK. Just outside of this area I was stuck on an on-ramp for about an hour as some poor people had a major car fire at the end of it. Which put me to the Hampton Roads tunnel right at rush hour. I did arrive eventually, got hugs.
D26 and I went out for dinner and I did talk to her about B and let her know that things are looking pretty serious. She didn't really seem bothered about it but did seem to be happy that I had told her.
We had a nice day yesterday and walked for a couple of hours along Virginia Beach getting soaked to the skin in the process in some light rain. Our prior plans to go to the aquarium or shopping were ditched in favour of dry clothes and binge-watching Tidying Up with Marie Kondo with some randomly selected beer.
We did talk about various things and while I didn't ask specifically I did get the solid impression that she rarely hears from her mother and that she's still not impressed with her. We did talk about her coming home for Thanksgiving and staying with me.
The thing that prompted me to post this morning though was a message from SIL1. It seems that my ex has suddenly shed all of the people on "my side" from her social media. SIL1 was shocked but my own reaction was "good". Perhaps my ex is now moving along with her new life at last. SIL1 suspected that it was due to the existence of B - I don't know and frankly don't care.
B seems to be having a good time with her sister but I get a bit of a tone that she's getting bored and feeling a bit constrained on having to be with her sister all the time. We send each other messages from time to time and when I get an internet connection, my phone does go bing bing bing.
In talking to D26 I do believe that this will be my last trip to Norfolk. Sad in some ways. This is a beautiful part of the world and I will miss it. I highly recommend this area. It has a lot to offer to a tourist between the beaches, museums and historical sights.
D26 will be moving in August and it's already mid-April so another trip this summer would have to be pretty soon. The time around her move isn't a good time for me to be needing to be entertained.
Ah well - the world moves on and after a quick shower I believe I'll be heading to perhaps my last visit to a Waffle House. They don't have any in California.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I am glad you arrived safely. Sorry your trip down 95 was painful. Friday traffic isn't the best and especially w/a holiday coming up, rain, etc., it makes driving a lot slower. When I worked in the city, we use to laugh because as soon as one drop of moisture hit the ground, people became stupid when it came to driving. If you were coming back again (which it sounds like you aren't) I would have suggested 301, it's a bit slower, but scenic. But, it sounds like you will be heading west next time around.
I do hope your daughter comes home for Thanksgiving. It would be nice for her to see her family, friends and meet B. As for your xw shedding people from your side of the family...typical childish behavior. Trust me, she is still watching from afar. She's letting everyone know that she is aware of B. I'm glad to see that you don't care any longer about what she's doing. Maybe it's time to advise SIL1 that it's time to let this go and leave things well enough alone and that you have moved on.
Looks like some rain/storms moving in your area later today down there. I do hope that y'all are enjoying yourselves. Please travel safely when you are on the road.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Dream - I hope you weren't offended when I didn't respond to your post. I'm choosing to avoid endless debates. I know you meant well with your comments.
Dawn/job! I'm glad that I managed to cause some discussion about important issues such as where the "real" South begins. I remember a couple of years ago being in a restaurant in Fredrick Maryland and a lady at a nearby table was going on about how her daughter was a "real Southern Lady". My son-in-law is from Georgia and disputes on if even Virginia is actual "South" or not. I think the general consensus is that if it has a Waffle House then it's South.
I have conflicted feelings about tacos D26 is brushing up on her Spanish for moving to San Diego and is looking forward to "real" Mexican food. She did say that she and her H have fallen in love with that part of the world during their short visit and may consider staying there. The future is uncertain. The social media person for my son-in-law's ship has posted that they are currently in Spain so I can mention that here as it isn't a military secret. He looks like he's having fun.
It was a very good visit. Very different from past ones. We went for a nice long walk on Saturday along the fabulous board-walk in Virginia Beach which was largely abandoned due to weather. We got rained on fairly hard when we were about a mile or so out and got literally soaked to the skin on the way back but for most of the walk it was just breezy, warm and misty. We took it in stride, I got dry clothes from my hotel and we hung out for the afternoon and binge-watched Tidying Up with Marie Kondo which is a sweet show. It has lessons for the LBS I think. Letting go of those things that don't spark Joy and treasuring that which does. It's not about utility - but about Joy. I liked that.
Sunday was similar to Saturday. Nice breakfast at Waffle House where I had biscuits and gravy, some adventures including a trip out to the Naval Exchange - the biggest in the world is in Norfolk - essentially a huge department store. I picked up a "Proud Navy Dad" sweatshirt that I had been coveting and D26 was smug that she paid for it as I literally wasn't allowed to as I obviously don't have US military ID.
We then had a late lunch at "Waterside" which is a cool mix of bar and food court where I had a couple of more drinks than I might have otherwise and we had a great visit and talk. One uncomfortable thing that came up and is perhaps on D26's mind is her family resemblance to me. Despite the bright blue eyes - very like my Father's, she looks a fair bit like me. She commented that she thinks she's starting to look more and more like her mother who is a handsome woman and that S24 looks a lot like her.
It would be nice if I had definitive proof - as a guy LBS this is a thing that can eat at you but I do know that it honestly doesn't matter. Despite rumours, I do like to think that my ex was faithful to me up until the OM she left for. I also know that it would be stressful for the kids if I suggested it.
We then hung out for the afternoon, binge watched the Great British Baking show which I thought B would enjoy as it is both a showcase for some very creative baking and also a very kind program with everyone being so very positive - at least when the camera is pointed at them. We picked up some beer and a take-away pizza for dinner. In many ways a perfect visit. Just spending time with someone I love hanging out.
I was very pleased that D26 really seems to have no issues at all with the existence of B nor of the fact that it was pretty obvious that she has done a few overnights here. I did pass on her IRL at least social media credentials and talked honestly about some of the bigger red flags that I was worried about. We had a longer talk about her brother and the challenges that exist with getting him to leave the nest. Her mother barely came up in conversation. Not so much any more because D26 thinks that it would be painful for me, but more that I think she has pretty much no interaction with her and what she has she doesn't care for. Looking back over 3 decades I'm actually not too surprised. There was always a bit of conflict and tension between them, especially I think because D26 and I bonded so strongly. I know that when she moved out that my now ex quickly moved to take over the space in my life that our daughter had formerly occupied.
I drove home in one go yesterday. Exhausting. 1200 km in one go. A bit over 14 hours of driving with few stops. I checked in with B and the kids when I had data. I was slightly surprised, but not very when I got home to a big pile of dishes on the counter. S24 did leave me a single clean plate and bowl for my breakfast at least. It appears that he had food provided by others as well as ordering in pizza. The fridge is also fairly empty. I do wonder if he spent any time with his mother but that is literally none of my business. The temperature drop from Norfolk to Ontario was huge going from the mid 20s to freezing. I regretted only wearing a T shirt for the drive back somewhere in Pennsylvania. For kicks I bought a Power Ball ticket at the gas station - it would be complicated if I won not being American.
I felt odd as I approached the Canadian border as I was suddenly filled with feelings of homecoming and looking forward to seeing my wife waiting for me. Then - yeah - no wife. And B hasn't filled that role in my heart and mind and was in the opposite direction. We had a bit of a text exchange when I got home and I was saddened when B told me about the fire at Notre Dame Cathedral. I checked the news story and was pleased that it appears that no one was seriously injured. While it's hard to replace an 800+ year old church, a life is impossible to replace. I was a bit surprised that B thought to send that along but she does know that I am interested in things like that and I get the feeling that she is working on. I think she's getting a bit burned out with her trip with her sister. I think that they spend the time together and not doing their own things separately. She had been going out in the evening and having a few drinks - with a hang-over in the morning but last night B was in bed closer to her regular early time.
The news of my ex cutting her social media ties with my side of the family was obviously on my mind last night and I had a very vivid dream where she was being positive and chatty and pressing for details about B. She'd needed help with something vaguely undefined and I was obliging. Perhaps a sign that I'm healing. SIL1 says that the now visible parts of my ex's social media profile shows a very bitter and angry woman. No idea what the actual truth may be.
I was surprised that B video called me again this morning. I do miss her face - and other parts. I was still in bed and we chatted while her sister was out reserving beach chairs. A process that I object to but none of my concern. She waved when she came in to shot. I felt a bit awkward but on the other hand glad that B is so open about me existing having been in circumstances where that wasn't the case.
The cats certainly missed me with Amy spending much of the morning thus far as close to me as possible. I do think that S24 didn't spend much time with them.
Well - it appears that I have a lot of dishes to do along with laundry. There were about 600 emails waiting for me and even though I don't go back to work until tomorrow, I'll sort through those. The greater bulk are automated messages and can be ignored.
I also have my diary to catch up on.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Glad you enjoyed your time with your daughter. Sounds like y'all have a lovely relationship. Next time S24 leaves a big pile of dishes, MAKE HIM DO THEM! You are not his butler.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Hmmm - when your girlfriend is on a tropical beach and sends you a picture of her well tanned cleavage while you are at work in an open concept office ... SCROLL!!!!
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
And, second, my dear, sweet, precious, lovely man.........why you have to diss my silver bullets like that? Coors Light IS beer. Now, see, here in LA (Lower Arkansas, for those of you not familiar with southern geography and not to be confused with the state abbreviation for Louisiana for those of you who are), a lot of rednecks and hillbillies prefer the Anheuser Busch offerings like Budweiser, Busch and Busch Light. Only those of us who are refined in our redneck-edness drink Coors or Coors Light. My dad is all in for Coors (the regular old gold can stuff) while my mom prefers the silver bullets of Coors Light, which I prefer as well. Really, I'm shaking my head, Andrew. But, just to make you feel a little better, if I could get it here, I would be soaking up some Molson every chance I got. It is good stuff. 
And, have fun. Glad B is having fun and it is so cute that y'all are missing each other. (See how easy it is to slip y'all into a sentence?)