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#2842357 03/18/19 02:55 PM
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ballast Offline OP
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Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
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I'm free to do what I want any old time
I'm free to do what I want any old time
So love me, hold me, love me, hold me
I'm free any old time to get what I want

I'm free to sing my song though it gets out of time
I'm free to sing my song though it gets out of time
So love me, hold me, love me, hold me
And I'm free any old time to get what I want

Love me, hold me, love me, hold me
But I'm free any old time to get what I want

I'm free to choose what I please any old time
I'm free to please what I choose any old time
So hold me, love me, love me, hold me
I'm free any old time to get what I want, yes I am

Jagger/Richards


All my love to you and D4 brother.


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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ballast Offline OP
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Thank you neffer! I think that's the first song comment you've provided to me in my sitch! :-)

That time is definitely on it's way!


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
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ballast Offline OP
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Just putting this out there on the off chance someone new and hurting comes on here in need of some support and they see this...

Over the weekend I read on FB about a friend of mine who's Granddad had passed. This man was in his 90's. Made it through WWII and many other struggles in his life. Anyway in the midst of the comments expressing sympathy for his passing, my friend's sister mentioned how when asked how he had made it through so many struggles in his life he would always say "It all comes down to your attitude".

Attitude is defined as "a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something". Since I've read of this man's passing I've reflected a fair bit about the "difficulty" of my sitch relative to the REAL difficulties of so many others in this world. Attitude, the inherent ability within each one of us to preclude external events from having undue influence over our lives. Since coming here I've always marveled at the amazing power I've found in the simplest of phrases, thoughts and truths.

This one from someone I respect for having made it through real adversity resonated with me and I hope this might be of help to someone here in dealing with their own adversities.

-B


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
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ballast Offline OP
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paperwork was concluded 2 days ago and i am completely at peace with it. as i've said before, i don't feel anything towards my W anymore, good or bad. only real focus for me now is D4 and my immediate future. rather surreal how turbulent "the tunnel" can be while you're in it, but then once you come out the other side...the absence of pretty much anything beyond yourself and your children...

ok, i do feel something...i'm excited for the new baseball season and the ability to enjoy it completely free from the burden of the tunnel I've been "carrying in my mind" for better than a year now. for all of the pain, heartbreak, loss...there is seemingly a rebirth of self at the conclusion of all of this. i read somewhere on here the "fire" of this process will forge your self into a stronger entity than when this first began and I very much agree with that.

anyway...it's kinda like i'm back out in the light now and just kinda catching my bearings/looking around...i'll grant myself time and patience for the present and with God's grace steadying my path forward, i'll look to the future I want for myself while maybe one day with the benefit of hindsight, I'll be able to make sense of this chapter in my life that's now passed.

-B

Last edited by ballast; 03/21/19 10:28 AM.

Me:34 W:40
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BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
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(((hugs)))


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Great update B, glad to hear you're in a peaceful state of mind smile


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Joined: Nov 2018
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B,

Thank you for sharing the words of wisdom from your friend’s granddad. My condolences there.

Gonna echo AS, great update.

(((B,D4))


H 49 , W 47
T 23, M 17
S11, S5
BD: 7/18
IHS: 7/18 - 3/19
Physically Separated: 3/19-4/19
Piecing: 4/19 - Current

----
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ballast Offline OP
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just an update on my sitch...WW filed mid-part of last week. I am very happy with the outcome most importantly that 50/50 with my D4 is locked in now. Sometime in early summer this will be signed by the court and official.

on a separate note now with my paperwork completed I recently went on to an OLD site. yesterday I had an enjoyable chat with a lady 10 years younger than me. she's local to me, has two children 8 and 6, like myself has gone through IC following the end of her marriage a year ago and is part of a very successful family owned business here. we hit it off right away and we have plans to meet up this weekend.

oh and I have a meeting tomorrow with a sales manager for a new community here to discuss purchasing a new property for myself and D4. my best to everyone on here who are still deep in the tunnel. hope to pay forward all of the help I received here by help as many new folks to this stich as I can. I am living proof you can make it on broken pieces. If I can make so too can the rest of you.

my prayers to all of you who are on here and hurting this morning.

-B


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,152
Likes: 1
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Sounds awesome B, congrats!! Good luck on the first date!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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