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A Message from Michele
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Re: Being strong [Re: Tryhard] #2841759
03/14/19 04:24 PM
03/14/19 04:24 PM
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LH19 Offline
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TH,

Just our of curiosity how do you know there is no om anymore?


M:50 W:45
T:22 M:16
S:14 D:10

Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.- Will Smith
Re: Being strong [Re: Tryhard] #2841760
03/14/19 04:25 PM
03/14/19 04:25 PM
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 228
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Tryhard Offline OP
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Tryhard  Offline OP
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Line up for the 2x4 on me though :), you are a wise man Steve

Last edited by Tryhard; 03/14/19 04:28 PM.
Re: Being strong [Re: Tryhard] #2841761
03/14/19 04:26 PM
03/14/19 04:26 PM
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LH19 Offline
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i am pretty sure its coming lol


M:50 W:45
T:22 M:16
S:14 D:10

Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you and stay.- Will Smith
Re: Being strong [Re: Tryhard] #2841765
03/14/19 04:56 PM
03/14/19 04:56 PM
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Posts: 228
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Tryhard Offline OP
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Tryhard  Offline OP
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Please remember I only post here for support, questions or WHEN I AM LOW. , smile. Or maybe lining up for the 2x4s Lololol only 90% maybe 80 . My house is secured and she works from home , I do let her escape once in a while;) she has agreed to tell me and I do keep a close eye. Shes had the visit from Mother Nature the last 2 weeks I asked for a chance and she Agreed

Last edited by Tryhard; 03/14/19 05:02 PM.
Re: Being strong [Re: Tryhard] #2841779
03/14/19 06:40 PM
03/14/19 06:40 PM
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AnotherStander Offline
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Originally Posted by Tryhard
I feel that the techniques are more aimed at removal of love for the spouse to protect the lbs


Usually when someone says they're getting mixed signals between here and Michele's book it's because of a misunderstanding rather than contradicting info. When we say to get out, GAL, give your W time and space, that is all consistent with Michele's teachings. The ultimate show of love is letting someone go. Because begging/ pleading/ negotiating/ reasoning are all based on selfishness. Those things are us telling the WAS "I don't care what YOU want, this is all about what I want and what I want is to stay together so that's what you need to do to make me happy." But if you respect their wishes and leave them alone and let them go despite all the pain and anguish it causes you, well that my friend is real, true, honest-to-goodness, selfless love. Letting go isn't the "removal of love", it is the ultimate expression of it.


Current relationship 12-2014 to present
Previous: Me:57, XW:55
S16, D22, D24
M:21; BD:06-14-12; S:09-10-12 D final 03-17-14
Re: Being strong [Re: Tryhard] #2841796
03/14/19 07:30 PM
03/14/19 07:30 PM
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 4,777
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Steve85 Offline
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No 2x4! Just keep trying my friend. You got this!!


M(49), W(51),D(15)
M-20, T-22 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017

I am way better today than I was a year ago. Today I'm a man only a fool would leave. But I'm also a man that knows his own worth...
Re: Being strong [Re: Tryhard] #2841866
03/15/19 02:08 AM
03/15/19 02:08 AM
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Tryhard Offline OP
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Duh duh duh, tomorrow will be crunch time , kinda getting exciting, if she does blow out om then I will be in for some spew like 2 weeks ago . Oooh whats gunna happen , will she choose new super me or fantasy toy boy , stay tuned for the next episode wink . Joking aside , I will not accept being lied to , I guess its not being cheated on technically, but that is what it feels like , and I am not putting in any effort to validate and support her whilst she does these things with other men and expect me to be the gay bff who pays for her and support s her whilst she does what she wants whilst hiding her intentions from me . I made this clear and I will be fine either way

Last edited by Cadet; 03/15/19 07:30 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Re: Being strong [Re: Tryhard] #2841883
03/15/19 07:32 AM
03/15/19 07:32 AM
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Tryhard Offline OP
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I need some help on stating my boundary clearly . I will not continue to live in this house and be in a relationship whilst you are with another man ?

Re: Being strong [Re: Tryhard] #2841899
03/15/19 09:13 AM
03/15/19 09:13 AM
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AlisonUK Offline
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I think from the boundaries thread, a good boundary is about what you will do, rather than trying to control what someone else will do. I have a boundary around being spoken to in a disrespectful way. If H starts with the sarcasm or mockery or belittling, then I end the conversation. He's absolutely free to speak in whatever way he wishes whenever he likes, and I am absolutely free to leave the room, end the phone call, etc etc. It isn't about controlling him, but about protecting me. (Easier said than done - I'm not consistent about applying the boundary and I still catch myself trying to 'convince' him to speak respectfully to me, rather than just leaving and not tolerating the disrespect - but you get the gist.)

I guess in this situation, you can't stop her seeing someone else. You can't throw her out. You can't make her do anything. But you can decide that you won't live in the same house as someone in an active affair. Or you won't financially support someone who is using joint family money to fund an affair. Or something else?

It is a very hard one. I think people more experienced and skilled than I am will be able to advise you better.

Re: Being strong [Re: AlisonUK] #2841902
03/15/19 09:25 AM
03/15/19 09:25 AM
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Tryhard Offline OP
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Thanks Alison, you are correct. I do need some vet support on this one . All this came from no where , I guess it was her guilt and uncertainty about me . It must be very confusing and difficult for her , but I am not going to endure living in the house with the woman I love whilst she is in another relationship, regardless of what it is based on . I am sure she would love me to carry on being her best friend provider, protector and supporter, whilst she swans off once a week for a couple of hours

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Moderated by  Cadet, job, Virginia 

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