Movin on #2

[petri]

I've always been slow to start a relationship. I want to be sure that there really is something. But when I love someone I truly love. In XW's case I just didn't love her the right way. But now I seem to be even more careful. And what you wrote Nicole is the main reason. I've been hurt to the core. But in the end it makes me stronger. And I will love and be loved again.

Welcome to my region dear! I hope you enjoy your stay. As I've let myself to believe, you've enjoyed your staysin these regions before.

[NicoleR]

Petri,

If the woman you met is a good woman she'll understand and go slowly with you. There is a risk for both of you but as you build trust hopefully you'll feel yourself able to love her completely. That's wonderful you met someone. It's so great you survived the divorce and you're able to think about starting over. Your determination to love and be loved again shows that you have a healthy mindset. I really hope it works out. You sound like a perfectly great guy who is loyal, responsible, and rational.

Thanks for your hospitality! I've been to Finland several times and I love it there. I want to spend more time in your country too!

[petri]

That's the problem. I think deep down she is good but she does have her own issues. She is confronting them at the moment. But I'm afraid that I'll end up as a fixer again. I'll take it slow and see how things evolve.

[ovrrnbw]

Don't let fear run your life. FEAR means false evidence appearing real. The only time we can be brave is when we're scared, so be brave! It's great that you know your weaknesses b/c then you can prepare and plan around them. You can strengthen them. You can avoid past mistakes.

[NicoleR]

Petri, we all have our weaknesses and faults. If she's working to address them that's encouraging. It's good you have the awareness that you played a fixer role so you can avoid it. I'm sure it feels like there's more at stake with this woman after going through a divorce and knowing your kids are affected by your choices. If she agrees to move slowly that will help. I hope it works out. Keep us posted!

[petri]

So here's a summary what XW wrote to me on sunday. "I'll withdraw myself from my childerns life. I didn't want this but you give no other choice. I'll tell the kids that this happening and I never wanted to abandon them but you made me do it. You'll have to explain to them why this is happening. You just don't want me to move on with my life."

[neffer]

An abusive temp check P! Stay on the healthy side. Be there for the kids but ignore that message. Hope XW keeps doing her inner search.

Stay strong there P. How’s GAL going? (You know you need to GAL, right?)

Hugs for you and the kids! (((P)))

[AnotherStander]

So here's a summary what XW wrote to me on sunday. "I'll withdraw myself from my childerns life. I didn't want this but you give no other choice. I'll tell the kids that this happening and I never wanted to abandon them but you made me do it. You'll have to explain to them why this is happening. You just don't want me to move on with my life."

She is just like a petulant child. Did you reply? Hopefully you didn't, that BS is not worthy of any type of reply. It's basically a threat- "you do what I want or I will turn the kids against you." Like I said before, her days of manipulating you are over.

[petri]

Neff. My GAL now is another lady along side karate and meeting up with family and friends.

AS. I did reply. "Timeout. As we both agreed at childservices."

This is something I would of never thought of hearing from XW. It's all about money. I do understand that she now can't afford to rent a bigger apartment since she has totally messed her finances in a year. But I can't see how on earthshe turns that to my fault. WW's work in the strangest ways.

[petri]

Been away for a while. Things are brightening up. We finally got the house ready for sale. Should be on the market next week. And I made an offer on an apartment and it was accepted! And had loan negotiations which went great! And I have a new GAL activity PADEL. That got out of hands immediately. It sucked me right in. We are now planning our own PADEL center to our town. Let's hope that things keep looking as bright as they do now.

The only thing that is not quite there...the new lady. I'm having trouble to just go with it. But she understands it and is ok to take things slow. So...