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Originally Posted by Dawn70
To Ginger's point, though, (and before LH even says it, I will say maybe this is taken out of context), the line about a woman's purpose being to chase, call and pursue while the man is busy fulfilling his life's purpose DOES come across as a douche statement. I can't speak for everyone but I don't expect a man to do all the calling, chasing, pursuing. I do consider myself old-fashioned to a point so I do expect the man to reach out initially, but once I get the feeling that he has an interest, I'm ok with reaching out too and calling, making dates and paying for them, doing some pursuing. I'm not in Ginger's head so I can't tell you her reasoning but it just seems like he's almost saying to act disinterested, like you have better things to do while the woman runs panting after you.


Well here I go again. Again, lets like at everything that is taken out of context.

Here is the paragraph from the book.

Originally Posted by Dawn70
"The wonderful truth is that if you treat a woman properly and allow her to come to you at her own pace with minimal and simple actions on your part, she will do most of the chasing, calling, texting and pursuing! That allows you to focus on what’s most important in any man’s life, your mission and purpose!"


Let's just start of with the first sentence. If you treat a woman properly meaning you court her and set one date per week. You take her out and act like a gentlemen, ask good quality questions and show her a good time. Let's remember in the beginning consists of 6 to 8 weeks of the man doing the majority of the courting and pursuing. Minimal actions means setting one day per week, not sending 100 text messages during the week etc. Letting the woman come to the man at her own pace. As the woman feels comfortable she starts to reach out to the man more. "hey how's your day going?" hence she starts to do more of the pursuing. Would you rather have a man focusing on his mission and purpose or sitting home all day playing video games and texting you every 5 minutes where are you?

NO WHERE in the two sentences does it say the woman's purpose is to chase the man so that's a false statement.

The best part of all is what he says will happen is exactly what Dawn says" I can't speak for everyone but I don't expect a man to do all the calling, chasing, pursuing. I do consider myself old-fashioned to a point so I do expect the man to reach out initially, but once I get the feeling that he has an interest, I'm ok with reaching out too and calling, making dates and paying for them, doing some pursuing."

Ok another false statement:

Originally Posted by Dawn70
I'm not in Ginger's head so I can't tell you her reasoning but it just seems like he's almost saying to act disinterested, like you have better things to do while the woman runs panting after you.

He would never advise you to be disinterested. He does expect you to be busy pursuing your purpose so you are not available to chit chat all day but he wouldn't tell you to act disinterested.

The funny thing is most of what he teaches is based on the fact that most guys are clueless and these strategies are so you don't do stupid things like over pursue a girl and turn her off.

Lastly, this is not for Ditzes, it is for woman with options because a woman with options is not going to put up with a guy texting her 10 times without a response. A guy who is not direct and won't make a date. A guy that has nothing going on his life but to sit around and chit chat on the phone for hours on end.

Seems to be working on the Dr. I am guessing she is not a ditz.

I am not saying you need to agree with everything in the book. I do have a problem with all the false statements and things being taken out of context.

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The dr flat out told me she likes that I am direct and to the point when making dates. When we are on our dates she also defers to me every time from where we sit to what bottle of wine we order. She says....whatever you want baby. She allows me to take the lead.

Should I send the dr flowers for valentines day???


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Originally Posted by Joseph9
Should I send the dr flowers for valentines day???
Do bears get lucky in the woods?

Heck yeah. And your time is running out.


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[quote=Dawn70]
Ummmm....I guess I missed that memo where women online get complimented hundreds of times a day. When I was OLD I RARELY received messages or got compliments other than from those skeevy weirdos that started their messages with crap like "hey beautiful" (which is about the cheesiest thing on the planet, especially when you look like me).

When i mean getting complimented online I am not talking about OLD, I mean they get compliments and validation from Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, and the such.

Rex


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I am going to say no. You are not exclusive.

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Originally Posted by Joseph9


Should I send the dr flowers for valentines day???


Interesting question.... don’t have any advice and not sure what I would do but I am interested to hear what you choose to do.

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I’m on my phone getting my hair done, so I can’t reply as I would like right now. Because I of course have a reply to the coach thing.

J- do something, anything, flowers, card, bottle of wine. You can’t possibly lose doing this, but you can lose not doing it.

LH. It is universal common sense to treat a woman with respect and date her . He is no guru to write that.

Hook up hang out and have fun I guess you can say is another way of saying “dating” . No new revelation here. Just another wording.

So, if a man could take up the time fulfilling his purpose which he is apparently meant to do, how is the woman supposed to be able to while she is chasing the guy as the man is fulfilling his purpose. He certainly implies a guy has better things to do while a woman does the changing so he doesn’t have to.

His book seems pretty basic. Treat a woman with respect. Don’t blow up her phone. Take some initiative and set dates. Don’t monopolize her time, but spend some time with her.

I honestly thought that was all kind of obvious??

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When I use to have hair. Getting it cut was very relaxing to me.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
J- do something, anything, flowers, card, bottle of wine. You can’t possibly lose doing this, but you can lose not doing it.

IMO sending her flowers in too much for not being exclusive. The others sound fine to me.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
. It is universal common sense to treat a woman with respect and date her . He is no guru to write that.
Agreed. The book is obviously way more then that.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
Hook up hang out and have fun I guess you can say is another way of saying “dating” . No new revelation here. Just another wording.

Agreed. Why do you hate the term then? Just so you know it is Hang out, have fun and hook up in that order lol.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
So, if a man could take up the time fulfilling his purpose which he is apparently meant to do, how is the woman supposed to be able to while she is chasing the guy as the man is fulfilling his purpose. He certainly implies a guy has better things to do while a woman does the changing so he doesn’t have to.

Where do you get that the woman is spending all her time chasing the guy? The only thing he implies is that the man does the majority of the pursuing in the beginning and the woman does more after they are in a relationship.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
His book seems pretty basic. Treat a woman with respect. Don’t blow up her phone. Take some initiative and set dates. Don’t monopolize her time, but spend some time with her.

Then why do you hate the book and him so much?

Originally Posted by Ginger1
I honestly thought that was all kind of obvious??

Is it? I know you commented on Ballast's thread. You give men too much credit. lol

True story. In November I set a date with a woman from OLD and picked a place that served the beer she said she liked. Her response "thank you for picking a place that is so rare".

I am really just trying to prove a point that when you take things out of context, make assumptions the information that you are trying to portray is usually false.

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Putting on my practical romantic guy hat for a moment. And yes - I do have some experience here at least with flowers.

Card only if you are seeing each other the day of or the day before.
Flowers to home if you have that info and want to keep things quiet but delivery could be problematic.
Flowers to work if you are willing to announce to the world - I've got the hots for you. Could be awkward.
Not overtly sexual - stay classy

If you send a bouquet, have it done with a vase. Don't add on extras like balloons or stuffed animals because the shop will often mess that up. Sending it with a vase ensures that everything is arranged and sized properly. Don't pick up something from the bucket at the entrance to Trader Joes.

Use a florist in her general geography. Otherwise they'll sub-contract it to another florist and quality may vary.

If you send an arrangement it is longer lasting but less romantic. Also significantly more expensive

A combination of flowers works best. When I was first dating it was 3 red roses with 3 white carnations. A simple combination that FSL agrees looks lovely when she prepared that for me just after bomb-day when I was in hot pursuit. Being in Texas perhaps yellow in there too. And if you are Sparky and she is Dawn - absolutely include yellow laugh

Try to organize the delivery so that it is at a time convenient. There is a shop in LA that I used to use that generally hit the mark but would sometimes just leave the delivery at the door. Others won't deliver without a confirmation call to the recipient's cell. Better for getting a delivery but less of a surprise.

If you wanted to be creative, package up (nice wrapping) some sweets and a card and use a regular courier to send it to her office. Still discrete.

But most of all - be you recognizing the special in her.

PS - setting up an account and profile with a florist is a good idea. I know that after 2 or 3 deliveries they remember you and will often give fantastic service.


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And once again Ginger and I are back in sync. This ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ is among the things I've been tryig to say! Average to below average writing ability, keeps saying the same things over and over yet rather than tell you what he should tell you keeps making you Google his obnoxious videos rather than give you the info in the video - too lazy to write it out and don't say he's saving space as if he would not write the same things four and five times he'd have the space. But yes there are decent, basic concepts in there, but it's not like he invented them. And at the end of the day he's still SINGLE. that's the part that kills me. He talks about all these women he's dated but no longer does?

But still, there is good info in there. I'd even suggest people read it. It's worth the $8 or $9 bucks. It's just not in the same league as Divorce Remedy and others that have had way bigger impact on me. Yet clearly LH love him to the point of totally having his back. Although LH has this worked for you even? You seem to have had about the same level of success I've had - by that I mean date enough but can't find a quality woman. Then again you don't tel us much about all that. Were you not going to start your own thread at the start of this year? What happened buddy?

Anyhow Joseph, you are really going to be tested now and I dont mean the doctor will test you, you will test yourself! The dr, clearly seems interested. Now the challange is to keep that going. If you change who she has started falling for you could turn her off quickly. So be careful there. As for Thursday I agree you need to do something. Not sure sending flowers is it. I'd bring her some form of gift on Wednesday. The question is, will she get YOU something. Clearly this whole thing with the doctor has gone much better than some of the earlier ones. Can you now see the difference between her and the kitchen girl or the diseases girl or the liar who said one thing but did another - perhaps liar is a strong word but she clearly said one thing and did another. We all saw the flaws. We are not seeing them with Doctor - at least based on what you've told us.

Congrats though. You are very clearly doing better than you were - much better you should feel good about yourself for that!


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