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Moving on onto the bright side part 18

Thanks G.....I am looking forward to it. It’s funny when you go like 6 days or so without seeing the other person you kind of forget about the fun you have when your together. The connection. Even though we live less than 3 miles from each other it would be hard to see each other any more due to our children. Even though she is starting to reach out more she is still not calling me yet and suggesting things for us to do. I guess it is still too early for that. I don’t feel the need to have long drawn out daily interaction but I do think it is important to connect on some level daily or at minimum every other day.

Last edited by job; 02/09/19 07:07 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread

Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
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Joseph,

If you prefer not having your threads linked, please let me know and I will quit reminding you to link them up and I'll stop linking them up as well.

Last edited by job; 02/09/19 07:09 PM.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Joseph I think that's in some ways the premise behind television reality shows like "Married at First Sight". They are figuring that the more time you spend with someone that attraction and interest will grow - of course if there is some sort of connection in the first place. But then also, at least for me, when that happens there is this "pull" or draw that wants me to reach out to the other person or her to me. With many of the women I've dated, that pull is just not there. Might it be if we spent more time together? For sure. But like with Swedish Goddess, I really think if we spent time together we might have a connection, but neither of us seems to have that pull or draw or attraction to make it happen. I remember after one of our weekend hang outs (we'd been together for like 40 hours or something) and a couple hours after she left Wild Girl called me. Her first words were "I'm not even sure why I'm calling you but I am." That's what I'm talking about. She had the urge to reach out and almost could not stop herself. Of course when new guy entered the picture that urge went away or was diverted.

I can't help but wonder if that's not the same with you. You enjoy her but it's not like you just have to talk to her or her you. It may be due to the somewhat clinical nature at least I feel is at play - by that I mean this love by the numbers or by the steps, step one, step two, step three, etc. You've not fallen for her - nor her you - and I really believe that's partly why the connection has not grown. And I also very much agree that with a week in between that connection has not grown. Perhaps it just may not? Or it may. Time will tell.

My other thought, however, if you want it to grow and it's not, you need to do something different. What you've been doing has not yet worked. Perhaps that means contacting her more like she's kinda told you she likes. Clearly it seems like when the two of you are together you have a great time. It's the in between that has not took off yet. You've also clearly not put any effort into dating anyone else. Not sure why or what that means. You say you will but you've not even talked to anyone have you? Maybe you are more a one woman at a time guy - certainly nothing wrong with that. However, if this once a week thing keeps going the way it is, and you want more, you'll need to do something to try to make that happen. Otherwise if you're happy with the status quo, keep doing what you're doing.


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I have a feeling date 6 was the one where J got lucky!!

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Bahaaa....J got lucky times 2. smile


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Woooahhhh! I knew it....

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Lol....yeah it was fun. She has already reached out to me this morning. I don’t see any red flags at this point as she seems normal. I just hope she continues to open up so we can work on the connection.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Yeah buddy sounds like things are going well.

G,

Again there is way more to the book then picking up a dating women. The book is more about how to become an alpha male and in doing so you attract higher quality women. Again most of the things that you girls don't like are things you take out of context from Js threads.

I mean in the book he says you should love and adore your woman and treat her like a queen. Open doors for her always thank her for reaching out to you. Never ever stop courting her, take her out once a week to some place different and take care of all the details including the sitter. Surprise her, be the leader of the family. What woman wouldn't want her man to be that way?

I stumbled onto to his book and DB at the same time when I at a loss on how to stop my pending divorce. Since I've read his book about ten times my life has gotten tremendously better.

Just so you know I don't read other "attraction" " pick up" books. Most of them to me are garbage.

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I think the connection will grow as she opens up more. IMO she is still being pretty guarded with her feelings. I do think though she is slowly starting to loosen up.

I never did get the impression the coaches book was about pick up. His book is all about R’s and how to get, keep and maintain the attraction level with the woman of your dreams. Things like working out, eating healthy, spending time with your buddies, being present, listening, validating, courting her, making dates, planning dates, leading in the bedroom, giving her space, letting her come and goes as she pleases, etc. The importance of constantly learning, growing, and developing as a man. How you shouldn’t get stagnant in life. if I did half of what he talked about I probably wouldn’t be divorced.

As far as dating goes it is more of the same with his thoughts and strategies on how to build attraction and how to not come off needy and desperate. How often to call, when to text, how often to see each other, what to talk about on dates, how to go for the kiss on dates, how to read her attraction levels, displaying confidence, etc.

It was funny when I was out last night the dr and I were people watching and I could totally tell who was on a date and I found myself observing the body language of both the man and woman. The dr and I were the only couple sitting next to each other, touching, kissing, hand holding, etc. She has no problems with pda.

Agree or disagree with the coaches thoughts or ideas about woman but it is not about pick up, having sex, and then moving on to the next woman. Sure if that is someone’s intent then that can’t be helped but that is not how he intends his information to be used.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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^^^^^^^ Exactly!

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