To piggy back off of J in the drs profile she said she only gets her cut twice a year at great clips. So my opening was this.......Hi drs name.....is it a deal breaker if I spend more on my hair than you? Her response.....lol, no I probably spend more on guns and ammo than you. That’s how it got started.
I would browse and contact guys I liked but I am NOT typical - most women I know wait for the guy to contact them.
Ok Cupid did a study and I believe a simple hello, how are you was the most successful opener. However, for me, because I would get messages from multiple guys who clearly had never even read my profile, I was more likely to answer someone whose opener showed that they had read my profile. Something like "hi, I see you climbed Mt Whitney, ever been to Rainier?" Or " hi, I see you like punk bands, I was a big fan of Bad Brains" would be more likely to get a response from me. Don't make jokes unless you're positive it's funny and appropriate - it's too easy to go astray.
Happy Saturday from somewhat frosty Upper Middle Kanukistan.
A recent conversation with a friend got me thinking about my relationships with women of all sorts. It was suggested that I have an attractive personality (there's a relationship killer ) and that women generally like me.
I was thinking about this when I stopped off at the beer store on my way home last night in rather blustery weather to pick up my Friday night can of Foster's plus a second smaller one of Molson Canadian for some beer bread I'm making on Sunday. The nice young lady who had been serving me there but was off in recent weeks happened to be working. She gave me a big wave from the other side of the shop which I returned. Got my purchase and she bagged it up. She knows that I work in the plastics industry (as well as acids) and that I am in favour of using bags I thanked her for making sure that the beer I like for a Friday night was in, assured her that I wasn't bothered about it at all when she apologized for being the one who dropped the case denting pretty much every can, asked after her son who had been sick the last time I saw her yadda yadda yadda. She was concerned when she asked where I was driving to and cautioned me to be careful. I could almost see on the tip of her tongue a request that I let her know that I got home OK but we don't know each other's names much less real life coordinates.
She's a nice kid. If she were single and 20 years older she'd be a good match. I find her attractive even though her usual appearance is that of most young mothers "I tried". But that's not why I chat and semi flirt with her. I like her. This story repeats over and over. Usually with completely unavailable women who perhaps feel "safe" with me (?) I do try hard and even harder these days to remember things about people and take an interest. It gives me conversation fodder, I'm usually quite interested, and people like it.
I had a similar experience also yesterday. One of the customer service people was having problems processing an order. I poked away at it a few times but couldn't un-do the problem she had. I suggested she just do a reversal / re-entry and it turns out that she's under a lot of pressure because of some other mistakes lately. So - I put out an extra effort, got things more or less sorted out (Don Quixote rides again :P ), advised her of where to watch for any secondary issues and she was quite happy. She assures me that she will provide me with a large amount of cookies (I asked for one) as a reward. Again - a nice lady who is more or less at arm's length who seems to quite like me and not just because I will do things for baking.
Speaking of women, the POF adventure continues. Late last night while my phone was on do not disturb a number of messages came in from a local lady. We'd actually met briefly IRL quite some time ago and she remembered me. I saw the messages at 6:00 am but didn't respond then figuring I was best to wait until I had some tea in me. She sent me a few more messages, the last being a "sorry for bothering you". I responded assuring her that I did indeed remember the nice lady she described and that I was happy she reached out. There have been another 4 or 5 messages since then that I haven't read and will probably leave until I get back from groceries. I'm very flattered but want to take things at a walking pace. This lady - who added a second picture after she first contacted me - is a couple of years older than me, lives locally having moved here a year or two ago, is of average looks and size and seems to take care of herself. Essentially ticking all the boxes. The blowing up my phone thing is a bit disturbing but I can understand it.
I also sent a hopefully well thought out message to the #1 list lady who lives the next village over (the same as my ex). It was relatively short (hey - I'm still me), a bit humourous, suggested that she had many stories to tell beyond the obvious, that I was interested in hearing them and if necessary could provide pie. We'll see if that gets any response.
While I was typing this a second lady has sent me a message - maybe I "am" popular - I'll check it later.
A very dear friend (I seem to have a number of these - and yes - this friend is also a nice lady) advised me a long time ago that I don't need to attach myself to the first person I date or that takes an interest. As tough as that was especially early on, I've taken this advice to heart. Some have described me as a "catch" and perhaps from some perspectives I may be. Good income. All my own teeth. Luxurious hair all the way down my back. I know that I could be compatible with all sorts of potential partners since I'm a pretty easy-going guy. I've gotten in to this dating thing knowing that there likely are no quick fixes and knowing that as some here have described it - it is the land of mis-fit toys. On the other hand - looking at it as a "numbers game" - hitting it out of the park on the first couple of swings is as likely as it taking years. There's a principle in statistics (getting my nerd on here) that even though the average of coin tosses comes out to 50/50 which could lead people to believe that if you have a bunch of bad tosses that you're sure to eventually get a good one, the reality is that EACH toss is 50/50 and is independent of all prior results.
I had chatted with S24 about the fact that I got a contact from the fishy side this morning - keeping him informed about my life and dating adventures. No clue if that will get passed on. He seemed politely interested but not very.
He let me know last night that he would be out all day today with no explanation - code for seeing his mother. This morning he revised that to say that he won't be home until tomorrow morning. His mother picked him up a bit after 8:00. She was alone in her car. When it is adventures with her and her guy usually he drives. I am curious as to what adventures they may be having but S24 turned off his Life360 updates quite some time ago so I don't know where he is. He can still check on me which is good and was the reason I bought the app a while ago.
My ex did keep her car on the far side of the road as usual but watching her I did notice her actually looking towards the house this time. Perhaps wondering where her son is.
She does seem to be spending a significantly larger amount of time with her son since before Christmas. This is good. I can use some help in parenting him. Perhaps she will motivate him to grow and get his driver's license and a better job. He seems to have been on good terms with her all along and so it undoubtedly does him good to know that she cares about him again after a few years of largely being ignored - or so I presume.
Well - Amy has tried multiple times to sabotage my computer use this morning and is currently trying to cut off the circulation to my left arm. She did trash my first POF message I was composing I think as the touch screen also seems to work with cat paws so time to wrap this up.
Typical day planned for me with the addition of perhaps sending messages to the lady who contacted me. I'll want to learn a bit more about her before agreeing to meet if it does come to that. She seems "very" keen though which is both a positive indication and a red flag. I have the pork roast out for Sunday supper and am planning on scalloped potatoes and beer bread. No kraut but it has been suggested that I should try to make turnip kraut which I've never hear about. I'm not sure about mixing cheese in the bread. S24 suggested I check to see if there are adjustments to the recipe required. He does seem keen on me cooking with cheese though.
Until later.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I about died laughing because it is very evident that the woman is interested in communicating w/you and wanting to get to know you a bit more. Correct me if I am wrong, but do you feel uncomfortable w/a woman pursuing you? I think you are wise in exchanging a few texts before you meet her, but I would suggest that you meet up and have a cup of tea/coffee at the local shop just to break the ice IRL.
You just might be surprised at the number of "hits" you will get now that you have put yourself out there.
Maybe Amy is trying to tell you something...LOL! She doesn't want to share you w/other women. LOL!
Enjoy your day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Correct me if I am wrong, but do you feel uncomfortable w/a woman pursuing you?
I certainly felt pressured - which is one of the things that I was worried about. I've been pursued before and usually I like it and it makes me feel good but this is a different paradigm. I'm good with one on one interactions but this OLD thing reminds me of the old Westerns where there is a cloud of dust on the horizon and you aren't sure if it's Apaches or the Cavalry. Certainly all in my imagination as there is undoubtedly a limited number of available women who like pie.
I read the later messages after I got home from groceries. She seemed pleased that I also remembered her. She commented that she remembered me because I seemed so "down to earth" and has suggested getting together for coffee. She's given me her cell # and invited me to text her. I may well do that.
Lady #1 has seemingly blocked me as no messages get through. I tried 2 more times. Since there was nothing indicating she's blocked me I sent a message to the support desk that got me a generic response. I took a somewhat big chance and sent her a message via Facebook messenger mentioning that it was a single message. As Lady V once advised me - you can't blame a guy for asking. She's not read it and knowing how those can be buried I'm not too surprised. Disappointing that she's off the list as she ticked off a lot of boxes but it is what it is.
I did almost ask FSL out yesterday as well. We had a nice chat but another customer came in while I was working out if I wanted to.
I was joking with my friends at the cafe yesterday about my OLD adventures and my friend the owner joked that she would absolutely date me if she were single for my pie making skills if nothing else. It certainly doesn't hurt that those gossipy women all know that I am "on the market" even if one of them is "stalker lady's" daughter.
Dragging more than a bit today. Up waay too late last night re-watching Wizard of Oz and then a group phone chat with some relatives with a bottle of wine. The cafe is closed today as my friend isn't feeling well although she offered that she was actually there and I could stop over for a bowl of soup which I declined.
Oddly S24 isn't home yet. Weird that his mother had him visit for an overnight. That pretty much never happens. It did at Christmas this past year and when her parents died but other than that no. Part of me wonders what's up - maybe she won that big lottery prize that went to someone in the city where her guy lives Most of me doesn't care other than hoping that S24 will be here in time for dinner. I have the pork roast in the slow cooker now.
I think I may have a nap and then get to some housework and the ironing.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Took the leap. Texted the lady and suggested coffee next weekend. Still no sign of S24 but I did send him a picture of his girls and I napping which he saw.
Time to start my ironing.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Got a date for a week Wednesday for coffee She isn't available next weekend which was my first suggestion.
That gives me a week and a half to deal with anxiety.
(takes a bow)
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Such a long time to wait to meet someone!! I preferred to meet sooner than later. I know you've already met, but still... now you sit and wait and ponder how it will go until then. I planned my online chats out so I could meet the following weekend when I didn't have the kids. I had limited availability, only 4 nights a month.
With regards to your son, instead of playing mind reading with your turban, why not simply ask him what he's doing?? My guess is that he feels the need to hide his mother from you because of the negative comments you've made in his presence about her. He probably feels very "stuck in the middle" between his parents. I'm not sure why you feel the need to talk about your dates/love life with him. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to hear about my dad's personal life! At least not until he found someone steady who he would introduce to me after they were dating for some time.
First, great job on asking her out for coffee! SHe seems really interested! That's awesome!
Let me give you one online dating tip that is very important. If a woman does not invite you to reach out to her on social media, never ever ever do it. It comes off as stalkery. POF isn't broken. It's just what people do on there. ANd you just got to move on from it. The more you engage, the more you are going to see it. Just move on to the ones that respond and express interest. I think you will do well OLD
) and that women generally like me.
She isn't available next weekend which was my first suggestion.