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Re: The Third Wish [Re: AndrewP] #2832338
01/11/19 12:18 PM
01/11/19 12:18 PM
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,397
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JujuB Offline
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JujuB  Offline
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Andrew, I already knew this about you - but you are a really sweet guy. The girl you end up with is lucky.

Dont worry about things, you didnt even do. You would be surpassing me, if you did that.

You are already structured and know how to cook, so exercise and eating healthy will be easier for you!


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
Re: The Third Wish [Re: AndrewP] #2832349
01/11/19 01:22 PM
01/11/19 01:22 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 706
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exquisitetobe Offline
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exquisitetobe  Offline
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 706
Do you think S24 created the ad? smile

Re: The Third Wish [Re: AndrewP] #2832420
01/11/19 06:40 PM
01/11/19 06:40 PM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 207
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dream Offline
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That is such an awful ad!!!!!! Lonely seeking lonely? ugh. Half his age?! That's all for now, I'm feeding the baby as I type this. smile

Re: The Third Wish [Re: AndrewP] #2832465
01/11/19 10:31 PM
01/11/19 10:31 PM
Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 118
Australia
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devvo Online
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devvo  Online
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Australia
Agree that 25 is way too young for a 54 y.o. I'm thinking this is either a practical joke, or the guy is a supreme creep.

When I was 25 I actually liked hanging out with older people. One of my besties was over 50 and my BF was 38 - which turned out to be too old for me. No matter how open-minded I was to May/September relationships, there is no way on earth I'd ever have considered a romantic relationship with a man of 54 - not for any reason!


Me:54 H:54
S:21 S:19
M:24 T:26
BD:Aug 15
D:Sep 17
Re: The Third Wish [Re: AndrewP] #2832468
01/11/19 11:02 PM
01/11/19 11:02 PM
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,397
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JujuB Offline
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I dont think its a joke. I saw tons of guys on OLD that specified relationships with women much younger then them. And most of them do not want to date a female older then them.

I get it, if u want to have kids. And i get it if thats what the market allows. (Hes rich, and women are willing to go for it) but i never responded to guys that had that criteria. I would respond more to a guy like andrew that was ok with a woman 5 years older, but not ok with someone that could be his daughters age. I would feel safer and respect a guy like that more.

There was a guy that was much older then me, that wrote to me despite my age specifications. Meanwhile on his post, he asked women that were close to his age or older to him to respect him and not write to him if they are older. Ugh.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
Re: The Third Wish [Re: JujuB] #2832540
01/12/19 10:05 PM
01/12/19 10:05 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,090
Canada
A
AndrewP Online OP
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AndrewP  Online OP
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,090
Canada
Busy day today. I set my priorities and updating my diary ended up lower. I'm sure everyone understands.

Originally Posted by doodler
Fun fact: Did you know that the entire fleet of the Royal Canadian Navy consists of three glass bottom boats and one trawler?
As a card carrying Canadian pirate I can certainly support this message. Although "glass bottom" is a bit of a misnomer. A Facebook memory popped up a couple of days ago showing me the partially assembled skiff I have in the cellar - from 8 years ago. So no bottom / glass bottom - it's really just a matter of perspective. I really should get that thing finished. I've built about 4 of them over the years - often as a donation to charity auctions. This one was intended for my daughter but by the time it's done she'll be in San Diego and I can't see paying to ship it.

The Floating Bear is a 16' on deck gaff rigged sloop but sadly only has one cannon. And being Canadian it only fires blanks. And then we say Sorry and give the other ship maple syrup. She's a fun little boat. A Weekender designed by Peter Stevenson - sadly she's been on the Hard more than she's been on the Wet. If you are interested in fun projects you should check out their website. They used to publish plans in magazines. I also built their MiniCup - a fun little board boat and digitized the plans for them and they then gave me a free copy of the plans for the Weekender and a couple of other boats. They have some pedal powered go-carts too. I built their Bugatti which was a fun build but by the time I finished it my kids were too big for it.

I met Peter and his son Mike a number of years ago at a "mess-a-bout" on Chesapeake Bay. Nice people - very creative in a "California / Hawaii" kind of way. Peter passed on a few years ago. If you check out their old books often found in public libraries you'll see Mike in embarrassing plaid trousers looking keen about his Dad's projects. The looking keen part was probably accurate.


Originally Posted by JujuB
Andrew, I already knew this about you - but you are a really sweet guy.
Awweee shucks... blush

Originally Posted by exquisitetobe
Do you think S24 created the ad? smile
I think that S24 is pretty happy with the status quo and would rather that dear ole Dad stays single. I'm relatively sure that neither child has any expectation of or wish for a reconciliation. On the other hand neither of them seem keen on me finding someone new.

Originally Posted by dream
That is such an awful ad!!!!!! Lonely seeking lonely? ugh. Half his age?! That's all for now, I'm feeding the baby as I type this. smile
DREAM! I hope you and all the boys - the tall and the small are doing well. Thanks for stopping by. I don't know how "awful" it is. Certainly the guy's expectations are perhaps out of place.


Originally Posted by JujuB
I dont think its a joke. I saw tons of guys on OLD that specified relationships with women much younger then them. And most of them do not want to date a female older then them.
I'm pretty sure it's legitimate. I'm kind of curious about if he gets any responses. Doubtful on the lower end of the age range but yeah - that sort of age difference can be a thing. Usually there's money or desperation that makes such a thing happen. I know from my own exposure to 20S - who is 24 - there's no way that I'd be able to keep up to that. I read about it on infidelity boards regularly - middle aged guys who try to do it. It's probably more sad than anything else.

The more entertaining bit for me is the number of my friends and neighbours who will think that it was my ad including no doubt my ex.

-----------

So I think that catches me up on the responses. If I've missed anyone - sorry.

Busy day today. I made sawdust! I've always loved making things in my shop down in my cellar. I can't stand up straight in it and it's not well laid out but it has always been my happy place. By no means am I a craftsman, but I am a handyman and can hit a nail with a hammer 3 times out of 4. The sheet of 3/4" plywood I got last week has now been cut in to the pieces for two boxes thanks to the Canadian Plywood Assn. One of which will be a blanket box as I've mentioned before. I messed up on the sides on the smaller box but adapted the design (they're guidelines and not actual rules) and it should work out fine. I hope to do the assembly tomorrow / next week.

I've actually built these boxes a couple of times. S24 has one in his room and my ex took the ones I made for her that were full of her junk. I hesitated before making these because I do indeed have far too much unused storage but a proper blanket box is a good idea for the spare blankets. My ex entered the marriage with a lovely huge oak box that I was unsurprised that she took with her.

---------------------

I was flattered when I sent a disclaimer about the personals ad to my friend who runs the cafe around the corner when she responded that she thought I was a lot younger than 54.

In my erranding around town FSL was happy to see me but very busy. I got red roses this week. When I got home I tried to stop by GSL's shop as she had posted on Facebook about a dish made by a local artisan that would make a nice spoon rest. There was a "back in 5 minutes" sign on her shop which I didn't see. When I went across the street to the cafe, GSL was there and laughed at me for being oblivious. Despite the cafe being very busy, the subject of the personal's ad came up and one of the staff made a joking comment that GSL needed someone to take care of her. I think she was somewhat offended and responded "not this week". Since the gift shop was closed, I went home, got my groceries put away, had some lunch, put in a load of laundry (a man's work is never done) and then popped over to the gift shop and got my new spoon rest. Since GSL has recently had a family member murdered (the not this week is undoubtedly related) I passed on condolences and asked her to be kind to herself.

Not really much else to report. Which I suppose is a good thing.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: The Third Wish [Re: AndrewP] #2832577
01/13/19 04:56 PM
01/13/19 04:56 PM
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,090
Canada
A
AndrewP Online OP
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AndrewP  Online OP
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Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 2,090
Canada
It's amazing how things can just hit you out of the blue.

Because I'm a bit of a jerk I've decided to put a statement "spousal support payment xx of yy" on the notice my ex gets when I send her her support payment which I sent yesterday. But I mis-counted - could have ignored the error but since she hadn't picked it up, I canceled it (which required a reason) and re-sent it with the correct number. It's hard to believe that I'm almost at 20% of the commitment already. Yes I could have ignored the error but that's not me.

As well as that I've made a couple of poor choices this morning. There's this silly Facebook aging challenge which for giggles I decided to post on. I picked a recent profile picture of me and my cat Amy, then went back to 2007 when I joined Facebook and there was one my ex took of me and the kids dressed for Halloween and then I went waaay back to 1988 and pulled a picture of me shirtless that my then fiance took of me as her "sunshine boy" picture. Other than some bits in between I think I've aged pretty well. Contents may have settled during shipment though.

But with that I also browsed around old pictures. There was a set from our anniversary in 2015. We were so happy. Perhaps she had started edging in to an EA with OM at that time, but I was so very devoted to her and she loved it. There were smiling Christmas pictures, happy times in exotic locations, lots of love.

I then browsed back in my threads here like I do from time to time. It was just about exactly 2 years ago that I gave up waiting for her to make up her mind. Had her mind been made up? I doubt it. But I'd had enough. I re-read how job was so very dissapointed in me. Then one year ago right around now was when I got the signed divorce papers from my lawyer.

What gets me though - is that I really really miss her right now. Not that I miss having someone - that I miss her.

I have been struggling with wanting to reach out which I may not have mentioned but reading between the lines it is perhaps obvious in my posts. And yes the payment xx of yy thing is a poke / wakeup call.

At the barber shop yesterday I heard a rumour that the store she lives over / works in may be up for sale. It's not a strong rumour but if that does happen she'll be rather stuck.

Ah well - I need to pull myself together here. Go for a walk. Have a bowl of soup at the cafe. Maybe hit some nails with a hammer and get those boxes put together. I have Sunday supper planned - basically the one that I was going to do last week. Meatloaf, potatoes, biscuits. I have lots and lots to do today. My ironing will be needing to be done but I just sit here typing in nonsense because I can't move.

I hate this roller-coaster.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Re: The Third Wish [Re: AndrewP] #2832581
01/13/19 05:29 PM
01/13/19 05:29 PM
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 618
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DejaVu6 Offline
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Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 618
Browsing through old pictures is a killer Andrew. I have done it too many times...as recently as yesterday, in fact. When all this first started, I did it a lot and would get really sad. As time as passed, the sadness as lessened but it is still there. I miss my H too. The H I had before all of this started. And I know it is him I miss and not “someone”. I never, ever even remotely entertained the idea of someone else. When I said “I do”, that was it for me...for better or worse. I suspect you and I are similar in that regard.

You are not typing “nonsense”. It is not nonsense. You are typing our and processing genuine feelings. The overwhelming pain and disbelief is long over but I think the periods of sadness take a lot longer to completely go away...if they ever really do. I think that is normal and just something you have to go through in order to fully heal. (((HUGS)))


Me 50
H 45
B/G Twins 10
Daughter (his) 18

Together 13 years
Married 11 years

BD1 - May 2014
BD2 - September 14, 2018
Re: The Third Wish [Re: AndrewP] #2832582
01/13/19 05:34 PM
01/13/19 05:34 PM
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,397
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JujuB Offline
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JujuB  Offline
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Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,397
I hear ya andrew. How can you not miss the person that you chose to marry, and raise children with? The person you have history with. They were family.

Im not up to date with your thread, but i think that if she was having an affair then you "did not give up on waiting". You established strong boundaries of what is an acceptable way to treat you. That sounds healthy. Cheating is abuse and you shut the door on allowing that abuse to continue.

I miss the idea of my ex. The potential of my ex. I go through these phases. And then today, he showed up 30 minutes late for son exchange which made me late for w job and prohibted me from squeezing in another job. So i lose needed money. This always happened in our relationship. His chronic lateness was so selfish. I dont miss that.

I also have to look at it as, "would you ever date a person that lied, cheated, led a double life...etc". I know I would not. But this is what they did and who they are at the core. Its easy to project your feelings onto them. Its hard to accept and i know what you mean about the roller coaster.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
Re: The Third Wish [Re: AndrewP] #2832590
01/13/19 06:43 PM
01/13/19 06:43 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,250
K
kml Offline
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kml  Offline
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K
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 14,250
I've been going through a box of old home movie videos, sorting them prior to taking them to be digitized.

After ten years I certainly don't miss my ex. But watching him with our kids when they were little gives me some peace in that he doesn't LOOK like a bad choice. I wasn't completely stupid - I may have blown past some red flags but he looks like a good father. Yes, there were hidden undercurrents even then, but I can see why I thought we had a good marriage. It makes me feel like less of an idiot for choosing him.

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