Gordie 23 one year after she dropped the D

[DnJ]

Wow.

That is big stuff.

She opened up and shared that.

You did very well, keeping calm, and letting her lead. She will share with you, all those answers you seek, be patient it is working.

You know she will most likely want to talk to you about her trauma at some point. Be calm, validating, supportive, and follow where ever she leads the conversation.

This has to be incredible difficult for her. Remain strong for both of you.

You’re a lighthouse buddy. Shine bright!

DnJ

[Gerda]

I started crying as soon as I got to the part where she started crying. And then cried even harder at the part where you held hands.

There is nothing to my mind more loving than holding hands. It's so unnecessary. It's purely an effort to be present to each other, viscerally -- and to sort of meld into one via the hands.

(I still remember holding hands with my H the first time I knew we would become something. We hadn't kissed or anything. I still remember the street we were on when he took my hand.)

This is so huge that she wanted to go there, that she wanted to see the wound, that she wanted to understand it and heal it. And that she wanted you to be there while she did that.

I am so happy for you.

[Westo]

She is coming to terms with her past and wanted to share it with you because she trusts you......as her husband.

You are handling her beautifully.

It’s working.

I’m welling up here. (((Gordie and W)))

[Grace21]

Gordie - that is very profound. She is willing to start dealing with her past that plagues her in the present, and for her to want you to be there, that's so moving. I'm glad for you, but glad for her too that she is willing to perhaps start dealing with it.

[peacetoday]

yes I agree
a lot of movement on her part toward healing and understanding what happened to her even how it affected her in the now-
also a lot about her level of trust to you-

[kate11]

That car ride was huge. Glad things are moving in a positive way for you.

[Gordie]

DNJ Westo Grace Peace Kate

Thank you for all of your well wishes

Agree this was a big event

A step in processing what was not processed

Thirty some years ago

She had never gone back

So after we got home I did break the ice

How are you feeling?

More tears and w taking

I listened

We hugged

One day at a time

[Irish M]

One day at a time

So happy for you Gordie. For both of you.

You are doing all the right things.

I’m following and praying

Irish

[SBJ]

Gord, I've been following along from the shadows. Keep up the good work and know that you have many people that are praying for you daily. Maybe we can be your reminder...you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

I cannot totally understand what you are going thru since I have not been in your shoes, but I do know that you seem to have the gift of being able to use the advice given here to your benefit. I am just glad that your wife seems to be moving in the right direction and that you have the strength and patience to walk the path with her.

God bless!!!

Not to be a smart @$$, but I laughed hard when you talked about your long hair vs short hair. Mine had been getting shorter and shorter over the years and I kind of stopped cutting it. Yesterday a buddy called me Grizzly Adams, so I guess it might be time to trim it up again and do something with this beard.

[OneArt]

Gordie:

If she shared something like this with you, she is showing you vulnerability and taking you to a place that she could not even when you thought your marriage was great. This is huge. A giant, blinking signpost. Something to give you energy to sustain you on the rest of this maddening voyage.