She fired you as her husband. Let her put on her big girl pants and figure it out. If she contacts you, FOLLOW THE RESTRAINING ORDER and do not contact her. If it becomes a legal issue, you can claim that you were just following the restraining order.
Of course this is just my opinion. Always seek legal advise.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I will ask my L about it too, but I like to bounce things off sensible people that have been there and done that. While W is irrational and unreasonable I have to be the opposite. Getting the most data points helps one make the best decisions possible.
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
Yea see what your lawyer says, but she is hilarious if she thinks she can kick you to the curb and have unlimited spending from you for as long as she pleases.
Is there a Jody in your sitch? Or you don't know?
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
No familiar with the term Jody. If it refers to some other partner, I don't know one way or the other. Signs point to yes but I am abiding by my temp restraining order and have not been trying to find out.
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
Well a nice productive day today. Saw my IC again today, he didn't tell me much I didn't already know from reading this site, but I did get a valuable piece of paper from him stating he doesn't think I have any mental issues in his professional opinion. That will be good for disproving W and her ideas that I have mental issues that make me an unfit parent.
Also got a new credit card opened up in my name only, with a nice healthy limit. Have to get the joint one paid off and then close that account. Will take a week or so.
Got some other documents together as well, performance evaluations from work, physical fitness records from the military showing excellent results, got appointments with the medical people for alcohol screenings and liver tests to disprove her statements that I am an alcoholic and drunk all the time. Got credit card statements, bank statements, tax returns, and retirement account statements saved and analyzed.
Requested my L ask for a trip to the bowling alley or skating rink as my ordered visitation vice sitting on the floor of her parents living room, we will see if that flies or not. I hope so, sitting under their thumb being treated like a criminal while seeing my kids really is awful.
The I hit the gym, and now I am watching some football before I head for bed. A good day!
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
Have a lot of work to do in the next couple weeks, working on my response to her declaration, getting proof of things she lied about, going to see my counselor, getting medical tests done to prove I am not a drunk, statements from those who know us well but aren't aware of her shenanigans yet, and get a nice little packet together to show the court some truths about all the lies she used to get a restraining order. Trying to be proactive, would not be expected by her and her L.
Awesome! So glad to hear you are taking control and not just rolling over on this. Well done!
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She is not going to be happy when the mid month paycheck doesn't show up. Changed my bank accounts and mailing addresses among other things, she doesn't get those nice benefits anymore. I will give her the proper amount for child support, and that is it. I don't want my credit ruined, so I will ensure the mortgages get paid. All the bills are in her name anyway.
Discuss this with your L. Given that your W wants to play hardball, perhaps you should not be giving her ANY concessions right now. I would only do what you are legally obligated to do, which right now might be nothing. Assuming this is legal I would cut ALL support immediately and let her come crying to you about it. Use it to negotiate better visitation with your kids. But again, consult your L. You don't want to do anything that paints you in a bad light in the court's eyes, so your L may have other advice.
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Given that I am not communicating with W in accordance with the temp restraining order that she requested and was granted ex parte, should I inform her that her credit card will no longer work and that she will no longer be receiving my pay check into the joint account starting with my pay on the 15th?
Absolutely not. I mean there's a RO in place, SHE did that to prevent contact so how can she complain if you don't tell her something?
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Seems like a jerk move though and don't want to appear as trying to be selfish or hoarding money to the court.
If in doubt ask your L, but I don't think the court would see it that way.
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No familiar with the term Jody. If it refers to some other partner, I don't know one way or the other. Signs point to yes but I am abiding by my temp restraining order and have not been trying to find out.
I think he meant "OP", it was probably a voice-to-text snafu or maybe autocorrect. I agree that the signs point to yes. It's unusual for a WAS to do what your W is doing (baseless accusations, immediate blocking of all contact and child visitation, pursuing D right away) and usually that points to clearing the way to start a new relationship with someone else waiting in the wings. That's another question for your L, is it worth hiring a PI to prove? Most states are "no fault" these days so it may or may not help your case.
Originally Posted by LB55
Well a nice productive day today. Saw my IC again today, he didn't tell me much I didn't already know from reading this site, but I did get a valuable piece of paper from him stating he doesn't think I have any mental issues in his professional opinion. That will be good for disproving W and her ideas that I have mental issues that make me an unfit parent.
Also got a new credit card opened up in my name only, with a nice healthy limit. Have to get the joint one paid off and then close that account. Will take a week or so.
Got some other documents together as well, performance evaluations from work, physical fitness records from the military showing excellent results, got appointments with the medical people for alcohol screenings and liver tests to disprove her statements that I am an alcoholic and drunk all the time. Got credit card statements, bank statements, tax returns, and retirement account statements saved and analyzed.
Great stuff! You're really doing an excellent job of preparing. How are you feeling?
I thought you were the guy who was BD when he got home from deployment. Jody means OM in military lingo.
All that stuff you are doing is good, just do your best to remain calm in front of the judge. Clearly your W will lie to get what she wants, so you must play the game too and that means being the calm, steady guy who doesn't get goaded into petty behavior.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
I thought you were the guy who was BD when he got home from deployment. Jody means OM in military lingo.
I am that guy, however I have never heard that term before. Maybe it is more service specific.
I have no idea what the answer is to that, it isn't worth my time right now to try and figure it out. I could likely point at about 3 different people and one of them would be it.
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
you are handling it extremely well. Just one caution, the POS Jody whos face you might want to rearrange, please refrain from doing so. Granted he is pa POS and a dirtbag, but he is only a symptom, and not the disease. I am telling you this because you are bound to hit the angry phase at some point in the not too distant future (we all do/did go through that phase), and it would be a shame if you got in trouble with the law and also with the military.
Stay strong buddy, you are getting solid advice here.
