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Now shes agreed to sleep back in MB with stipulation that I have to let her come to me emotionally, intimately, etc.


H36
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SD14
SS16
M 2 YEARS
BD 12/25/2018 Still living together, sleeping together, etc
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Originally Posted by ScottG31
We have days where we get along well but R talk just destroys it.
It is your choice to have R talks. Is having R talks working?

This is why it is important to 180 and avoid R talks like the plague.


Here is the general statement:
"The pot on the stove is hot. If you touch the pot, it will burn you. Do not touch the pot"

Here is the specific: "Relationship talks will push her away. If you have R talks, you will make things worse. Do not have R talks. Avoid R talks like the plague"


Hindsight helps us identify the "hot pots" that you can not see.

Pursuit from you is a "hot pot".

If you truly love her, then you will give her what she is asking for. SPACE away from you.


How is her relationship with the children's father?


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Originally Posted by ScottG31
Now shes agreed to sleep back in MB with stipulation that I have to let her come to me emotionally, intimately, etc.
Do you understand what this means? Most men do not.

Last edited by Ready2Change; 01/02/19 09:30 PM.

"What is best for my kids is best for me"
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Sounds like you are needy and clingy. Do you understand her request?

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Scott,

maybe you could slow down and type things out a little more clearly. It's a bit hard to follow.

Originally Posted by ScottG31
Because we're in a rocky place and she won't give concrete answers as to of she wants to divorce or not. Shea had me in this limbo for over 4 months now. I really want to save my marriage but am feeling extremely weathered lately.

Quit asking for concrete answers. She doesn't know or doesn't want to tell you. You're beating a dead horse.

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Do you think its too late since she moved out of our bedroom? Can I still salvage this? It's so embarrassing to even be at home right now for me. I'm sure the kids are telling members of thier family as well as her ex husband. Just feeling like a huge failure today. Thank God for the support on here.


It's not too late, you can salvage it. Read other people's threads here and learn.

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I just found out she blocked me on all social media. Should I just go dark and delete it all?


You should stay off social media, it's a time waster and headache inducer. Nothing is as it seems.

You will not die if you sleep alone. You did it before you met this woman, right? You are very emotional right now. Emotions and logic conflict often, so just realize what emotional state you are in and try to deal with it the best way you can. At the 4 month mark, I started to turn a little in terms of my detachment from my wife. If you read a lot here, do the work, and keep a PMA you can start to feel better too.

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Now shes agreed to sleep back in MB with stipulation that I have to let her come to me emotionally, intimately, etc.


Did you initiate a conversation with her?

Please give us some backstory, tell us about your situation, ages, how long you've been married and together, kids, life changes or important events. Give us the low down on your relationship.


H 34
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Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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I have an idea what it means but would be open for feedback.


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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Originally Posted by ScottG31
Now shes agreed to sleep back in MB with stipulation that I have to let her come to me emotionally, intimately, etc.
Do you understand what this means? Most men do not.


I'm gonna answer this....

FRIEND ZONE!!!! Hell naw!

It's a deep psychological game played by women who want to feel wanted but the man will not get want he wants out of it and is too scared to make a stand bc he fears losing her. But he never had her.


H 34
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BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
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Married for 2 plus years. W37 H38 two step kids D14, S16. I've been in limbo for like the past 5 months. It's like she wont talk about it. I really dont have evidence to think she is cheating. She cites my inability make her emotionally safe.


H36
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We have sex all the time so it doesn't feel like friend zone.


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Originally Posted by ScottG31
I have an idea what it means but would be open for feedback.
Explain to us what you believe it means. Be as detailed and concrete as possible.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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