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Oh Pain... I am so sorry that happened with your D. Five days is a long time. My H and I have talked about an alternating 2-3-2 schedule (starting on Mondays) so the kids never go longer than three days without seeing the other parent. Not ideal and definitely not what I want (obviously I’d like 24/7 of both parents) but I think we will try it and see how it goes. My kids are 11 so they text me or call me when they are with their dad if they feel they need to. My D and I text each other every night and she passes the messages on to my S. It is really, really hard not to resent my H for doing this to us but I know it will only hurt them if I do so I am working on forgiveness. Anyway... just wanted to send you some support. And I agree with R2C...it is okay to cry. Sometimes there is just nothing else that we can do in the moment and it does provide a release for some of those pent-up feelings. (((HUGS)))

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Cry as much as you want, but never in front of your WS or your kids. Your kid might feel at fault and feel guilty for your sadness. Your WS will see it as instability use it against you.

But when it's just you and God, cry your eyes out.


Save yourself. Nobody is coming!
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It gets better Pain. You are moving forward into your future. You have your inner strength, you have faith, you have D4. Moving forward with integrity, honesty and commitment. There you go man, be proud of yourself!

Wishing the best for you and your family for the coming year.

Sending you a Big Hug now man.

(((H))j


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
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Day 155 - Final post of 2018,

I obviously spent the majority of my day here reading and replying to other's threads while continuing to reinforce all of the stuff that has been given to me since I have started this journey. There was a lot of pent-up anxiety of what is going to happen in the new year. Lots of changes are going to happen. That's a guarantee. The growth and the pains that come from it will continue. I am expecting that. But I am also expecting a much different year from last year. I am expecting to be in a much better place. A place where I ooze confidence. A place reserved for AMOFWL. Once the clock hits midnight, I will hold my head high and say out loud:

I WILL WIN! BECAUSE I AM AWESOME!


I am getting ready to head out the door to find something fun to do for new years. I may do it solo. I may meet some new folks. I don't know. But I am going to hit 2019 on a strong and determined note.

Pain18 will no longer exist my next post. I have submitted the request to have my handle changed to "Phoenix9". I hope it gets approved.

Sandi, I was mulling over a profile name change for a month now and Phoenix was the first thing that came into my mind. You verbalizing it confirmed the name change for me.

I will see you all in the new year.



Last edited by pain18; 01/01/19 02:03 AM.

1/6/18-BD OM1
2/18-W meets OM2
4/18-W intros D4 to OM2
5/18-“Romance ends"
7/18-DB start
7/18-IHS Ends
4/19-WW moves out
3/21-D filed

Formerly pain18

Rise.

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Originally Posted by pain18
I have submitted the request to have my handle changed to "Phoenix9". I hope it gets approved.
I hope so to. I'll call you Phoenix9 even if the don't change it!

I hope 2019 will be a much better year for you.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Originally Posted by Ready2Change
Originally Posted by pain18
I have submitted the request to have my handle changed to "Phoenix9". I hope it gets approved.
I hope so to.

I hope 2019 will be a much better year for you.


Wonderful!! I hope you have a great time tonight Phoenix9!!!

Be safe, have fun, and find something wonderful to smile at.

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Love, LOVE, LOVE the new name!


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Day 156,

Happy New Year everyone. Hope it was great!

Mine was pretty quiet but relaxing. I lifted, had dinner, and went to a small party at a coffee shop before I stepped out and waited for the fireworks to go off. I got home late and went to sleep very late.

Today I woke up and took care of some house stuff.

I also realized that it's my WW's birthday today. And I do not plan on sending her any greetings. I see it as continued detaching (she is busy, etc.). Any good reason why I should? Because the thought is screaming "PURSUIT" in my mind.

Last edited by Phoenix9; 01/02/19 12:30 AM.

1/6/18-BD OM1
2/18-W meets OM2
4/18-W intros D4 to OM2
5/18-“Romance ends"
7/18-DB start
7/18-IHS Ends
4/19-WW moves out
3/21-D filed

Formerly pain18

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Yeah. I’m not calling her.


1/6/18-BD OM1
2/18-W meets OM2
4/18-W intros D4 to OM2
5/18-“Romance ends"
7/18-DB start
7/18-IHS Ends
4/19-WW moves out
3/21-D filed

Formerly pain18

Rise.

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Originally Posted by Phoenix9
Yeah. I’m not calling her.

Good choice.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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