You are right Andrew, he is an act of service type of guy. It is the effort and thought that he likes. I do not think he is into monetary materialistic gifts at all.
His bedroom is all pics of him and his son. That's why I thought it would be really nice. I also know from firsthand experience when you don't have the parent of your child making these kinds of gestures with the kids, it is a nice thing to receive from someone else.
Maybe I'll just give it a shot and see what I can do. And if they say they can't for privacy reasons, then I won't push it.
I think the picture idea is great, especially since he already shared it with you and you know he has pictures in his house. I LOVE getting pictures as gifts and I remind my children of that ALL the time. LOL I think it is a very kind and considerate gift on your part and as someone who is an acts of service kind of guy, he would most assuredly appreciate it. On the off chance that the photographer can't do it for you for whatever reason, could you do like a gift certificate or something that would allow M to get it done but you pay for it? I know people say gift certificates are impersonal, but since this is for something very specific and very personal, I don't think it is bad. (Of course, I LIKE getting gift cards, so again, I'm probably weird. LOL)
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
So, I reached out to the photographer and then she replied that she reached out to his brother for permission! They said it was absolutely fine and she gave me the code. So out of my comfort zone. I hope they don't think I am nuts. I might be meeting them on Christmas Eve.
That's great! I'm sure he will love it. And surely his family will appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gesture. Good luck on meeting them.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
So, I went in and ended up ordering him exactly what I told him he should get, and I didn't even know it was something that was available directly from them. It was kind of pricey, I also had to rush the delivery and hopefully it makes it.
I was talking with my rather smart child and she realized something. Her and her friend group bought eachother Christmas gifts. There is one friend in the group who is just becoming D11's friend and she doesn't think that she bought D11 anything, but D11 didn't want to leave her out. She re-gifted from our home, lol. She said she doesn't want to make her feel bad if she didn't get D11 anything, so she will give it to her if she had a gift for her. I'm proud my daughter is so thoughtful of how what she does might affect someone elses's feelings, even if it is a nice gesture. But then here I am saying to myself "what if M didn't get me anything and he feels bad?" we probably should have had that discussion like KML said. I am gift giver and never expect to receive. I have been used to not really receiving any Christmas gifts for years (except from my dad and stepmom really, and a gift from D11). I give more than I get and I enjoy that more. Maybe his brother hinted to him somehow? I don't know. We are seeing eachother tonight.
In other news, I have been 2 full days carb free, sugar free, and alcohol free and drinking tons of water and in the gym twice in a row. I haven't killed anyone which is a plus. I am much less bloated and feel a bit better. Today I will keep it up but we are grabbing a drink tonight, but I may not go with my beloved beer. If there is not celebration I do not need treats. But I will treat when celebrating. I need to get back on track. I do this food prep thing which preps healthy food and delivers to my gym and it is delicious. Not cheap, $11.95 a meal, but 3 meals a week, saves on grocery bill, and going to buy quick junk. While I am not happy with the way I look, it's the healthy portion of it which is why I am really doing this. I have a feeling my cholesterol is through the roof and my family has a heavy history of type 2 diabetes. And I am not getting any younger. I also want to kill it in the gym, because it makes me feel good.
So, that's my ramble. I can't believe Christmas is almost here and I am working long hours next Monday and Christmas morning, but I took the day off after Christmas. I'll be seeing a movie with D11, the ex and the wife, then visiting my friend for a little party.
Oh, and funny, on the way to dropping D11 off today she says to me "Mommy, you have been with M the longest than any other guy! Why do you say you don't want to get married? What if he asks you 3 years from now, what are you going to say?!" I told her marriage wasn't necessary for me but I would say yes if were still together.
Out of the mouths of babes. Sad that almost 4 months is the longest, lol. exNG was 6, but we were LD.
Oh, and funny, on the way to dropping D11 off today she says to me "Mommy, you have been with M the longest than any other guy! Why do you say you don't want to get married? What if he asks you 3 years from now, what are you going to say?!" I told her marriage wasn't necessary for me but I would say yes if were still together.
Out of the mouths of babes. Sad that almost 4 months is the longest, lol. exNG was 6, but we were LD.
Your daughter is a very smart young lady and she wants to see you happy. She wants your to find your prince and, yes, she's keeping tabs on how long you've been seeing M. Don't ever think she's not observing! LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I agree with you both. She really does want me to be happy. And OMG, she is ALWAYS observing! I am under a microscope with that one!
What a crazy night. We met up at my local pub and some beers and talked and talked and had a good time like always. he came back to my place. Around 2:30 am I heard the dog pushing around his food bowls. I figured he wanted some water, so I gave him some and he drank 2 bowls! I figured he was really thirsty. I went back to bed but then I heard him whining. so I figured he had to go pee. Well, it turns out he had gotten into these boxed of chocolate I had! He ate a bunch of chocolate truffles! I immediately googled this and according to google it was like my dog was going to die. I stayed up with his for a while and he seemed fine enough. I went back to bed and M awoke and I told him what happened. He was worried for the trouble maker too and said we will just keep an eye on him and call the vet in the morning. Well, then the dogs sugar rush came. OMG, He wanted in the room, on the bed, off the bed, all over the place. he kept us up for the rest of night. I felt so bad. M was so good about it, petting him when he was in the bed and wasn't angry about not getting any sleep. He ended up leaving at 5:15am, and I went back to sleep and the dog was going nuts again and it turned out he had 2 huge vomits in my kitchen. He had calmed down. I told work I was coming in late and I waited until the vet opened. He told me it was safe to leave him and go to work and just to feed him slowly today. Apparently he ate the least toxic kind of chocolate so that was good. I am hoping I don't come home him having vomited in his crate.
I can raise a kid, I can be a good nurse, but I stink at raising a puppy! When I get home today I am going to really puppy proof the home until he calms his butt down. because he is in EVERYTHING! I am going to crate him at night too if he isn't in my bed.
M was good about everything. he even texted later asking how he was doing and that he was worried for the little guy so he googled too. I told him everything was alright and I apologized for the sleepless night and I thanked him for caring about me and the dog and being so good.
Confession: It is yet again my time of the month and the ultra sensitivity/paranoia kicked in. I hate it. I all of a sudden think he is going to break up with me out of no where. I have got to shake this. he saw a little of my sensitivity last night. When I saw him he kissed me hello and asked me how I was and I asked him how he was and he was like "eh, ok" which isn't like him, he is always upbeat. I said I had some sort of feeling like something was wrong and was everything ok? I didn't mean with us necessarily, he gets like that when his exW does something stupid. He was like nah, I'm ok. I told him maybe it was my weird period sensitivity I should warn him about. He laughed and said "period paranoia?" I said something like that.
I've been comfortable with him lately without the fear of him saying out of nowhere "this isn't working". It hit me like a ton of bricks lately. I realized how safe and comfortable I was becoming with his. And it scared me, because I feel like I need to be ready for him to dump me at anytime. It's an awful feeling. Atleast D11 said "I really think he's the one and you're going to get married". Again, out of the mouths of babes
Hi there G. It's great to hear you so positive and happy. Sorry to hear about the puppy problems. I hope that at least the head-humping has stopped
I've always been a believer that a well trained dog is a joy to both the family that it is part of and to the dog itself. You and D11 will need to learn how to be good puppy parents as much as the fuzzy guy needs to know how to be a responsible member of the family.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Atleast D11 said "I really think he's the one and you're going to get married". Again, out of the mouths of babes
I just wanted to chime in on this. D11 is your daughter and like you, she probably goes "all in" and believes in dreams. She's just not been burned as many times as you have. I would suggest that you have a talk with her and let her know that you are very happy with M and that "perhaps" some day there would be a wedding. But that the future is a very uncertain land and that it's perhaps best for now to live in the present and enjoy it and see where it leads you both.
Things are indeed going well and dreams do sometimes come true and this relationship seems really good and it probably IS really good. But to protect your D, you may want to tamp down her expectations even though you really like hearing them.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
