Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I can't believe my 2 days off are already gone and I am sitting back here at work. Thank you Focus, for your words of encouragement. I just left on Tuesday and didn't finish everything. I am doing 2 people's jobs and they are going to get what they are going to get out of me. I came in extra early today and I am leaving by 3, and i just don't care!
Thanksgiving was nice. The night before, we went to a hockey game, and it was pretty cool this year, because D11 was actually into it, asking questions and I enjoying it. Thanksgiving was also just the 4 of us, but it was nice. Dinner came out good. Sometimes I do get sad we have no family. I get a little jealous when I see this big thanksgivings with all of this family. But I ma grateful to have my beautiful little family. I took D11 to Walmart (yes, on thanksgiving at 11am) to get a new Christmas tree because she wanted to decorate with them.
M sent me a picture of his mom and aunt making pierogies. I asked him if he could kindly steal me a few. He told me "For future use, if you tell my mom you like something she makes, you will end up getting random little surprises from her, she's a machine in the kitchen" I thought it was a positive comment, as in, maybe one day, I will officially meet this mom (I did meet her very briefly when she came home from work the first time I spent the night, which was a bit awkward). We are moving slowly and steady, no introductions to anyone yet, but I hope at least friends sometimes soon. I can't wait to see him tonight.
Another day I need to get through. I also found out the earliest my counterpart is coming back is Tuesday. I am praying OMS clears her, because I can't do this anymore!
I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and some of you have the whole weekend off!
I am so sorry that you are back at work today. Hopefully it will be a quiet one since a lot of people out there doing the Black Friday shopping.
I am glad you had a nice Thanksgiving. It's nice when you can get together with family and share a meal and just enjoy the day w/each other. It doesn't matter if the family is large or small...it's the time you spend w/each other.
I'm sure your D is excited to decorate this year, especially in a new home. There will be many "firsts" this year and you both will enjoy the time making those new memories.
As for M, enjoy the time you spend w/him. He sounds like a genuine keeper.
You are only one person. Do your work and if you have a spare moment or two, then work on something that isn't yours. Your work comes first...unless there is an emergency.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Last night M came over and we hung out at my house and got some take out Chinese and just chilled. It was exactly what I needed. He was referenceing me in a conversation he was having and he starts saying my “my girlfriend” but he only said “my girl”, you can tell he cut himself off. Not so much because he has anything against it, but I think he was worried what I was going to think. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t. Maybe we should talk abut this stuff now? I don’t know. TMI, we had the best sex ever! Just when I think it can’t get better, it does. Talented man, for sure, but the emotional connection. Woah. We were laying in bed this morning snuggling and he had to go because he had to take hisbsybthroid before he went to pick up his son. He told me “I always mean to bring it, along with my tooth brush, but I just get so excited to see you, I run out the door” then he said he should really keep some here so he doesn’t have to run out on me. I told him I have more than enough room in my medicine cabinet. He said the two weeks was too long without seeing each other and hopes we don’t have to do that again.
Part of me feels like we should be having some sort of “talk” but do we really need to? I refer to him as my boyfriend to ofhers because “the guy I am seeing” sounds dumb. We are definitely seeing each other exclusively. Everything feels so right and wonderful. I told him this morning in bed I was so stressed and the stress literally melted from my body with him. It’s true. I feel so much better.
This is all new territory. I am a 38 year old divorce with a child and I feel like I am dating someone foe the first time
Part of me feels like we should be having some sort of “talk” but do we really need to? I refer to him as my boyfriend to ofhers because “the guy I am seeing” sounds dumb.
So very happy for you G. You and I both know that nothing in this world is guaranteed and that labels sometimes cause more problems than they help.
My own opinion - for the little it's worth given my very limited experience with this - is that no "talk" is really required until some sort of situation where you would be dependent upon each other, for example in a cohabitation situation - comes up.
Even though I am a guy (just checked :P ) I can see how some could well get skittish about getting a "talk" and being "bound" to someone. I know that even in my own case I refer to the nice lady I see from time to time as "my friend (insert name here)". Would I like to be able to refer to her as my "lady-friend"? (I'm not keen on "girl" - I feel I'm a bit too old for that and it's not quite respectful enough - yes - I have weird hang-ups) - Sure. In time. When I know that she is committed to a relationship of some sort which is very much not the case at present.
But far too much about me. Apply the label to him that you feel comfortable with. He'll undoubtedly apply the label to you that he feels comfortable with in time. It sounds like he's getting close. But it needs to be his label and not one that you tell him to use.
It will come. You'll be fine.
((Ginger1))
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I think that is very good advice. I am going to apply the label I feel comfortable with when mentioning him. I think he does the same.
Everything he does shows me how he feels about me. His actions are more than I ever had with any other man. He consistently shows me he cares for me and I’m the only one and that this is indeed going somewhere. Which I still can’t believe yet.
Now, what the heck do we do about Christmas presents?!?
There's the old joke about "how to please a man" - Show up naked and bring beer
To add unnecessary pressure on you I've read that gift giving is often a good indicator of the type of person the giver is. Personally I'm a big believer in thoughtful gifts that have a lot of meaning. For D26 who lives far away I'm giving her a piece of original art by a local painter of the village pub, doing up a gift basket with local wines, cider and preserves. My son in law is getting a bow tie that relates to his profession if it ever shows up in the mail.
If things had progressed farther with the lady I've gone on a few dates with, I had been planning on getting her a mother/daughter spa day but we're nowhere near that.
I think that the gift should reflect both the giver and the person receiving it.
I personally - from what you've written here, think that you probably should plan on getting him a gift of some sort. Nothing huge because that creates pressure to reciprocate in case he chooses not to / doesn't think of it. Men can be pretty dense.
From what you've said, he's thoughtful and likes to do things for you. Something that says "Thank you" is perhaps a good choice. A tin of home-made cookies would undoubtedly be well received. Or there's the fall-back to a 6-pack of Bud Lite
Oh - and my ex was a pretty crappy gift giver
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
9 out of 10 of our dates involve me naked and beer, so it wouldn’t be so it wouldn’t be so special, lol.
D11 and I make fudge this this of the year and he loves chocolate and PB so I totally going to make that.
He loves to snowboard. So I was thinking of kind of a joint gift...... it’s risky. We have a ski/spa resort about an hour away . I was thinking I could book a night where I do the spa, he snowboards, and we come together for a romantic dinner and some hot tub time .
Might be a little too much at this point, I don’t know.
The holidays seem to come at a weird point in our R. I don’t want to outdo or underdo.
Oh, and My ex was actually the best gift giver. But his gift giving was never about me. It was about him looking good.
Except that time he bought me a fake coach bag and played it off like it was real, until it broke, I brought it to the coach store and was humiliated. That Christmas I got 2 real coach bags.....
Frankly at this point in the relationship I'd recommend actually discussing it. Something like "hey, I'd like to exchange Xmas gifts but is there a dollar limit you'd like to set?"
Or maybe just "how would you like to handle Xmas presents this year?"
Also consider figuring out his Love Languages as they relate to gifts. My ex's LLs were gifts and quality time. He didn't want some hand made gift I slaved over - he wanted that titanium ice ax he circled in the catalogue. Me being a Words of Affirmation person love the painting my son made for me and the bracelet inscribed with a term of endearment my ex once gave me. Fancy or expensive is meaningless to me.
If you liked those Coach bags you might be a gifts person like my ex, in which case you're likely to be disappointed unless you tell BF what you want.
Thank you Focus! I have been reading up on your thread to and love hearing about how peaceful and enjoyable your new love is. You most certainly deserve it.
Thanks Nef, things are really good between us. Still waiting for some red flag or some intolerable flaw, but there is none. He is the most wonderful man I ever dated.
J-What goes better with sex than beer and beer than sex? We enjoy both, lol.
We did decide to do something different together this Wednesday. It does involve getting hot and sweaty in different positions....... Hot Yoga!!! He used to do it pretty religiously and fell out of it with the business of life. I used to go once a week prior to my injury. So we decided to check out a class together. I've worked out with guys I have dated before (FF I met at the gym) but I am a little nervous about hot yoga, it's a new one for me. I am the least flexible woman and I will be pouring sweat, and my butt will be in the air. But I think it will be lots of fun. We can be healthy too:)
My coworker still isn't back, we have a full house of inappropriate for this level of care demanding patients and families and I am still doing it on my own, working like a dog and bringing work home. There is no end in sight either. I don't need this right now. My home life is suffering and the work life balance is very important to me. Doing 2 jobs and getting paid one salary is not cool. I think I am going to just call out sick one day and let them figure it out.
It's super hard to smile around here, although my boss did just come in my office and say I am doing an excellent job and with a smile on my face.... So I guess I am just crying on the inside, lol.
I am actually totally nervous about the hot yoga date tonight. It's been so long, I am not really good at it, but I enjoy it. Passing out would be really embarrassing. It's hotter than the normal classes I take. This should be really really interesting......
D11 and I were out to dinner last night and I told her M and I were going to hot yoga together tonight. She looks at me horrified and says "aren't you naked in hot yoga?!"
I informed her we are fully clothed and she was extremely relieved.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I think it's just a part of getting older, no? You know when you're standing next to someone really old, and they sneak one out thinking nobody has heard. Well, we're all heading that way :o)
So, no one broke wind, and no one passed out, so I like to call it a success! It was a tough class, but we both so needed it and enjoyed it. We went our separate ways after class as we both needed a shower desperately and were tired. He was so cute. he texted me after, I am sorry I couldn't give you more than a kiss, but I really had to shower and I wanted to rest up for S tomorrow. I thought it was very sweet and I told him we both needed our rest and a shower and it was just fine. Friday night he has plans with a friend and we are going to spend Saturday together.
On the way home from work I nodded off at a red light. I am just so incredibly exhausted and when I got home I threw myself in bed for an hour. I woke up 10 min before D11 left, then got ready for yoga. It's just been too much.
I did send an email to my boss yesterday explaining that I tried, but I can't do it all and that things are going by the wayside because it is just physically impossible. She actually ran up to my office (highly unlike her) told me what a wonderful job I was doing and she would help me in any she can. I did really appreciate that. I am also getting what my organization calls a P.R.I.D.E. award which is recognition for service above and beyond and comes with a $125 bonus, which is nice. And the best news of them all is that ,my coworker is coming back today sometime! I am so relieved, because I don't know how much more I can handle without consequence to my health.
Tomorrow night, I coming home from work (maybe going to the gym) and having myself a nice sushi meal in front of my fake fire.
Congratulations on the award. It's about time someone recognized you for your hard, dedicated work. I'm glad you let your boss know what is going on. She is now aware that you are not able to keep up with everything and hopefully, she'll start to help out a bit. Do not hesitate to let her know when you need help.
Glad the yoga class went well and you both survived it! LOL! Ginger, everything is looking positive and I am so happy for you. You deserve the very best.
I know you are happy that your co-worker is returning today. Hopefully, you can pass on some stuff to her to finish up.
BTW, how is the pup doing?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks Job! I do think things are starting to look up. It's been an absolutely exhausting past few weeks, and I am glad it should relax a little. M is such a great guy too, I have never quite experienced anything like this before. I sure hope it continues.
The pup is a handful. He is still peeing on my kitchen floor, he is humping me like I have never been humped before. I took him to the vet and he said he is nice and healthy and that I can neuter him in the next few weeks and that should likely calm him down. Regardless, we love him to bit and D11 sure loves that dog. She spends a lot of time yelling at him, but also carries him everywhere around the house. As soon as I get some time, I am going to get him some obedience classes. I need to straighten his butt out so someone will dog sit him when I need! M is so good with him and loves him to bits too
Have you tried the "pee" pads that you can place where you want him to go? A friend of mine used them and they worked for her. Does he only do it when he's excited or all of the time when he is out of the crate? Neutering him will help calm him down a bit.
Be consistent in your training. Just like a child, if he does something he shouldn't, correct him. When he does something correctly, give him a treat and tell him that he's a very good little boy. That should be help you along the way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I agree with job about the puppy. Molly is an old dog now, but I still leave puppy pads out during the day when I go to work. When I was married to XH, he was home all day since he was on disability, so he could let her out often. I don't have that luxury now and she has to stay home alone all day and since I don't have a fenced yard, I don't have a doggie door where she can go in and out freely. I have never crated her so she has free run of the house while I'm at work, but I leave a puppy pad near the door and some days when I get home she's used it, but most days she hasn't. I take her out right before I leave and let her out as soon as I get home. In the evenings and on weekends, she goes outside a lot, but it just isn't feasible to give her a way to do that while I'm at work, so for me, puppy pads have been a lifesaver. The only time she's EVER had an accident and not used the puppy pad was a very small handful of times when she was sick and I suspect had little control over where/when she went.
I also agree about neutering. That will definitely calm him down a bit. I don't know about your area, but here, there are always humane societies an other entities that offer low cost spay and neuter clinics where a local vet does it for a very small fee. Molly was a baby when we got her, but she was already fixed, so we didn't have to worry about it.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
M is such a great guy too, I have never quite experienced anything like this before. I sure hope it continues.
How so? How is he different than FF - which you kind of felt the same way about or even more deeply? Or the trumpet player? What is it that you've never expierenced before that you think you are now with this guy? Are you able to put it to words?
Originally Posted by Ginger1
M is so good with him and loves him to bits too
So if M has met and interacted with the dog has he done the same with D11 yet? I know you were considering when to introduce them. Something tells me that may have happened? Or has it just been the dog so far?
Have you guys had a disagreement yet? Usually by about this time something comes up and honestly I'd think by now it would have. Of course it's how you guys handle it that is most important. It's all a part of the process. Things are never just sunshine and butterflies. You are still early in but some of these things will be oart if the process and will really start to show you the potential for the future.
Very happy to see that no other shoes have dropped and no surprises have shown that's great!!!!!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I tried wee wee pads, but he chose to eat them instead!! Maybe newspaper, because that's what they were doing before I got him. But I have this nice yard and I don't want pee in my house. He will pee outside and come right back inside and pee, I don't get it. But I am going to try to be persistent.
To address your questions DOn, every guy has been different. FF was a hard pursuer and very a love bomber. Our sitch was different, so it was different. Trumpet guy was nothing. He was a 2 week fling. M is very different than any other guy in many different ways. He's very sweet, very calm, very patient. Our dynamic is different than the others as we are both understanding people, we have been through similar hardships and the way we handled them have shaped us. We really appreciate each other for who we are.
He has NOT met D11. He comes over when she is at her dad's. He stays over, sometimes we just hang in. D11 asks me daily to meet him and it has not happened as of yet.
We have not had a disagreement yet, but we have nothing to disagree on. Our lives haven't been merged so to say. We have had friendly debates about topics, but we have nothing to disagree over. When kids and lives are more meshed, I am sure a disagreement will come up, and I am anxious to see how we handle it. I think it will be pretty good because we both are extremely empathetic and open-minded and aren't afraid to be wrong. I guess the only thing I worry about now is that I have been struggling big time with work, which I have shared with him, but not too much, because he is such a positive person and I didn't want him to think I was miserable. But we were laying in bed last Saturday and I told him I had a break down and cried a few nights before and he just grabbed me tighter and said "im so sorry baby" then kissed me. So, he is a validator!. Anyways, time will tell. And I can't wait to see him tomorrow
OMG, I am so tired. What an intereresting weekend. Lots of feelings, probably best I write them out.
I tried ot leave at 1:30 on Friday and ended up leaving at 3 instead, but good enough. I went ot the gym Friday night and Saturday morning and on Friday night I treated myself to sushi and I steam cleaned my couch. M was hanging out with his friend. I texted him goodnight, he replied and that was that, I passed out on the couch.
We were going to hang out Saturday, we didn't set anything, but knew we were going to see eachother. I was up around8:30 with a contractor coming over and someone who bought my inversion table. I went to the gym, grocery, shopped, cleaned went to the hardware store to buy paint.... all the while I had texted M once around 10am, again around 12, and once more around 3pm saying I am actually worried. Not like him not to respond at all. Turned out he was up until 4, then from 6-7 and slept in until 3. I had have a bit of a panic attack. He even said to me "I am sorry, you probably thought I was dead in a ditch somewhere". We ended up having a very nice date night at this nice cozy restauraunt and then went to a bar with a band after. We uber'd luckily, and I probably drank too much and I had to work the next day.
I went to work, survived and found out some fantastic news. A full-time case manager is transferring to a different hospital! I could very possibly have this position!! It's on the hardest floor, but I am so up for it! Please cross your fingers for me. This would be life changing! I would work 10 minutes from home with the most delightful people I have ever worked with. They seem to think their job is crazy busy, but it is nothing compared to the insanity I am dealing with here, so for me, it will be awesome. The people and commute alone are worth it.
Back to my M. he came over last night after my work for some couch snuggles and take out. He stayed over too and ran out at 5:45am to go home and get ready for work. He texted me later and actually apologized for running out.
So, I realized something that scares me. I think I am falling in love with him. What do I do with that? Nothing I assume. Just feel it, don't say it, reel the feelings in a bit. I keep waiting for him to just say "I don't see a future with you, I need to cut this off" But that isn't happening. I have to trust the process. I have to trust he really cares for me and wants to build something slowly with me. I'm scared to tell people about him. SOme of my best friends don't know, and I will be telling them tomorrow night when we all get together and meet my friend from Florida's fiancé. I'm scared if I acknowledge it to others, it will go away. Again. But perhaps it won't.
And last but not least, I got my award here. Nice stuff was said, someone else said something in front of the coworker that was out and covering about what an great job I did and how I busted my butt and all she could say was "I was here sick and have covered this place so many times and no one has even said thank you to me" She's come back, not being very helpful, I still kept a bunch of her complex cases and I am still working above and beyond. She seems pretty bitter I was recognized for my hard work and really has no clue how hard I worked when she was gone.
Oh well. That was a lot and a little scattered. Tomorrow night I see my friends who I am long overdue to see and meet my friends fiancé. I asked ex to take an extra night this week so I can have some time with M. he actually said fine. I think I am calling out on Wednesday and catching up with life. Tonight we might take the dog to go see santa.
I think maybe things might seriously start going in my direction, but I am just scared to believe it, I guess.
Well G the coach always says its the woman's job to bring up the R talk and say the "I love you" first. As it is in their nature to want to bond, connect, etc.
I am not saying you should or you shouldn't but if you want to put a label on you guys you might want to have that conversation first before you bring up or say the other.
The man's job is to hang out, hook up and have fun. Along with creating the next fun filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen.
Well G the coach always says its the woman's job to bring up the R talk and say the "I love you" first. As it is in their nature to want to bond, connect, etc.
I am not saying you should or you shouldn't but if you want to put a label on you guys you might want to have that conversation first before you bring up or say the other.
The man's job is to hang out, hook up and have fun. Along with creating the next fun filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen.
Who is this coach? I need to meet him and kick him in the n@ts and let him know he knows nothing about women!
I would never ever say I love you first. Maybe bring up an R talk. Maybe. I don't really need a label, we established we are exclusively dating eachother. I just get scared to say it out loud. Superstitious I guess.
LOL....according to the coach if men bring up the R talk, try to pin a woman down in a R too soon, etc. it puts them in their feminine and that is not an attractive quality. Men should be about drive, purpose, breaking through barriers, achieving.....not bonding and connecting, bringing up R talks, blowing up their phone, always wanting to talk, etc.
Do you think John Wayne snuggled on the couch and watched Netflix??? Heck no......he was being the duke!
I see the R talk coming from you very soon.....................then shortly after you will say those magic words!!
It's in your nature...you can't help yourself. Sounds like M is just doing his thing and creating the next fun filled, romantic opportunity for sex to happen.
LOL....according to the coach if men bring up the R talk, try to pin a woman down in a R too soon, etc. it puts them in their feminine and that is not an attractive quality. Men should be about drive, purpose, breaking through barriers, achieving.....not bonding and connecting, bringing up R talks, blowing up their phone, always wanting to talk, etc.
Do you think John Wayne snuggled on the couch and watched Netflix??? Heck no......he was being the duke!
I see the R talk coming from you very soon.....................then shortly after you will say those magic words!!
It's in your nature...you can't help yourself. Sounds like M is just doing his thing and creating the next fun filled, romantic opportunity for sex to happen.
OH MY GOD! This coach is nuts!
Guess what?! Us women like men who can handle emotionally bonding conversations.
it's called BALANCE! Just like us women should take the reigns every now and then, make a date, pay, give a spontaneous BJ..... men should be able to still be their manly selves with an emotional sensitive quality for the right circumstances.
And I will tell you..... him coming back over after a day's of work to snuggle on the couch with me watching netflix certainly ended well for him (and for sure, me).
I think we both enjoy our fun-filled romantic opportunities that lead to the most incredible sex ever, but I legit think he enjoys me as a person and isn't all about just the fun and the sex.
He probably won't bring up an R talk, I'll have to do it. Maybe I'll get the balls to do it, maybe I won't.
But this coach....... I don't know if it is in your interpretation or this is what he is actually saying, but WRONG!!!
Well G the coach always says its the woman's job to bring up the R talk and say the "I love you" first. As it is in their nature to want to bond, connect, etc.
WTH? No, I DON'T think the woman should say I love you first. Hold it in, girl. Let home come to you. No, it's not easy for some guys to say but this guy doesn't seem to be a Love Avoidant, he'll come to it in his own time and you prematurely pushing the issue by saying it first robs him of that. Just sit back and enjoy.
Also - girl, you're focused again on whether HE will like YOU as much as you like him. How about focusing on WHETHER he is actually good enough for you. This is still early, you should still be checking his closets for skeletons.
Example: I've been seeing CMM now for 6 months. And although things overall are good, I;m still finding out new things about him, some of which are not ideal and are different from my initial impression of him.
For instance, on one of our early dates I was impressed with his chivalry when he hopped off a tram to help a woman up. Yet this weekend, shopping in a home store, he got all cranky with a woman who was trying to get through the aisle (two carts would not fit so he would have to go to the end of the (short) aisle to let her through. We were taking a while to decide and it was no big deal to move out of the way to let her through. Maybe it's chemo brain, but it wasn't attractive and frankly, if he'd done that early in our dating I might not have dated him.)
My point being, you're still just seeing his best behavior - which looks pretty darn good, I'll agree - but your focus should be less on "does he like me?" and more on "am I sure I like him? Who is he REALLY?".
Who is this coach? I need to meet him and kick him in the n@ts and let him know he knows nothing about women!
It's a few minutes before 12 noon here but this was clearly my biggest laugh of the morning!!! I bust out laughing for nearly a minute. It's most interesting how several women have responded to this coach guy and how several guys seem to worship at his alter (no religious offense meant). Perhaps most of all, I tend to agree with the women / hmmmmmmmm.
I really think the coach helps get the women who are fun to play with - not the ones you take home to meet the family
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
And I also very much agree with KML - yeah, shocker I know. I tried to get you to flush out some of these feelings last week but all I pretty much got was "he's different". I didn't hear why he's different, etc. I was going to respond, perhaps I should have, so I will now... But my thought was, it's still early infatuation - its invious - and that's fine, it's normal, just don't make it more yet. You've not even had a disagreement, you may not have even seen a down side of him yet. Well there has to be. I'm sure there is!!! That's not negative, it's just life. It's the very early honeymoon stage where everything is wonderful. It's not full real life yet.
Don't revert back to your old behavior Ginger. It's only been like three months. He's taking it steady. You should too. I don't see anything good coming from this love talk - unless it works out and he reciprocates. Otherwise it's all about comforting you. It's like getting that text. Then you exhale, breathe and say, Ahhhhh, okay, he still likes me. It's about reassuring you and lowering your anxiety level. Otherwise, he's fun, nice, treats you very well, follows through, has done NOTHING that you have questioned or been upset with (little red flag there) but all in all, it's good. Just enjoy it. You are in a head space of being with him coming up on a year where the actual space is only three or soon to be four months. That's still very new.
Now the downside of testing the love waters thus soon is great. It could well scare him, push him back. Again, I can tell you it has happened to me several times in my life. Of course you'll say oh but he is not you - thing is the women who I'm thinking if very much would have talked about me like you do of him. They later asked me what happened, things were going so well... Yes, they were but then they changed that. It was too much too soon. KML is right, you really don't know him very well yet. You can't - it's too soon.
Not sure if I'm getting my thoughts out well here or not but bottom line, just continue to enjoy it slow down. Have fun. Don't put a label on it. It's only been a few months. If you get to next summer and things have not progressed then for sure its time to talk. It's just nowhere to that point yet now - other than to reassure you - at least for a little while.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Look J means well he is just taking a lot of the information out of context and it is coming off wrong. Read the book. You can get the kindle edition for like $10. I guarantee it won't be a waste of your time or money.
For example he would have zero problem with snuggling on the couch watching Netflix.
He does advise to wait for the woman to say something along the lines of "where do you see this going" before bringing up the relationship talk. Now he says he typically waits for the girl to say "I love you" but it is not a golden rule. He does say you don't want to throw those three words out there unless you are sure it will be reciprocated.
Originally Posted by DonH
It's most interesting how several women have responded to this coach guy and how several guys seem to worship at his alter (no religious offense meant). Perhaps most of all, I tend to agree with the women / hmmmmmmmm.
Don, I'm gonna let that comment slide because I know you are frustrated with your love life right now.
Originally Posted by DonH
I really think the coach helps get the women who are fun to play with - not the ones you take home to meet the family
Absolutely not true! It helps with all types of relationships including long lasting loving fulfilling relationships.
I really do care for him. He is an incredible guy. I've dug for the skeletons, but he has been open as could be with me. His divorce, custody battles, court and police involvement, I 've heard it all and seen evidence. There are 2 things that other women may not be ok with. 1) the problems with his exwife and custody issues. She makes life as hard as possible as she can for him and uses the poor kid as a pawn. I do imagine when a woman gets involved, she isn't going to take to it kindly. 2) He is, in Dawn's words, a "Sparky" But, so am I. And so is pretty much my whole family. I, less than anyone else, but he actually has seriously educated himself on the subject, uses wisely, and is very responsible and a hard worker with a career. It's becoming legal for recreational use in my state. And I am very very pro. So, that doesn't bother me.
What is different? Many things, which are hard to put into words, but he is extremely genuine. His empathy and acceptance chip are as great as mine. I really don't need a label. I am more of an actions girl, and I would like to meet some of his family and friends. I guess that's something that would mean something to me going forward.
I will not say "I love you" but the feelings are there and I actually tried to talk myself out of them. I have no reason to rush anything. everything feels great. But I guess I feel ready to be more involved in eachother's lives.
Last night we took the dog to see santa. The dog was well-behaved and I got lots of compliments on how well D11 handles the dog and you can she loves him and is taking responsibility. And she really is. Complains a lot to take him outside, but she takes excellent care of him and loves him very much. D11 got in the picture and it is so cute.
I was chatting back and forth with M just a little last night. We dropped off somewhere in a convo and I figured he fell asleep, no big deal. He apologized to me today for dropping off and told me he had some baby mama drama. He then apologized for becoming a little distant when the baby momma drama happens. See, THIS. THIS is just so thoughtful and considerate to say even when of course, I understand a need for space and wasn't even upset at all. I helped him through some of it. I told him what will always impress me is that it doesn't break him and he remains and empathetic, sweet, caring guy. And yes, that is something I love about him. What he has been through has not made him bitter and he has been able to stay true to himself. He says he only wishes her healing for whatever causes her to be this way.
I think he might be a unicorn, lol.
But it has got me to thinking..... Maybe my ex was a big D, cheated on his pregnant wife and left her with a 6 month old child to go be her..... Maybe he lacks wanting to be a real father and I do everything, but atleast no one is blocking me from caring for her the way a mother should. He doesn't argue with much, and even if it's apathy, atleast we can come together on some things to ensure she is safe. I'm lucky. Sounds funny to say it, but I am lucky there isn't all this animosity and no one uses D11 as a pawn to hurt the other. I worked with a woman who was divorced for a year and the father's ego was so hurt she left (he was mentally abusive) that he turned the adult kids against her by threatening them.
Yeah, maybe my situation isn't so ideal, but it really isn't bad.
So, M and I had plans on Wednesday, but he has to prepare to meet with a new lawyer so he can't make it. He said he was so very sorry that this whole issue has to take away from the little time we get to spend together. He also said that me being understanding of this is something he is very grateful for. I told him anything involving his son is always number one and I am not going anywhere, and I am here to help in any way I can.
This is the type of guy he is. And I'll stick by him through this. And we will see eachother when we do. I told him our time together is always of quality.
I agree, cadet. I like the slow and purposeful. It’s decinitely a good thing.
So, I’m going to be a bridesmaid!!! I haven’t been one in 13 years! Both me and very close friends will be. We have been planning her wedding and bachelorette party since before she met her fiancé, lol. Destination bachelorette party and wedding ( because they live in FL) we finally got to meet him last night and he is perfect for her and so sweet. He totally loves her. It’s going to be so much fun.
I may have had a few glasses of sangria last night and M texted me asking me how my night was and I told him I was going to be. Bridesmaid! I told him the wedding was Oct. 13 th and he could be my date. He actually did look it up to see if it’s hisnparenting weekend which it is , and said if he could get her to swap, he would love to be my date.
Yes, I know, it’s like a year away. I should have shut up. Didn’t seem to bother him and he began asking about my friends and the wedding plans etc. so I didn’t totally mess that one up.
I took off from work today. I’m burnt out and I needed sleep and to get stuff done. I have the contractor in my home, so not too much rest, but I just took myself out to lunch and I’m going to hit the mall when it’s most empty. I needed a little self care.
I had asked ex to take D11 an extra night this week so I can M and my friends. He said yes. But when D11 came home she told me he was not happy about it. How awful is that?! He gets an extra day with his daughter and he shows her he isn’t happy about it. He had her this weekend, but he had a Christmas party, then she had a sleepover and he saw her for like 4 hours. Since my plans with M got canceled I asked D11 if she wanted to stay with me or dad. I said I wouldn’t tell dad my plans were cancelled Ifbit made her feel better. She said she wanted to stay with me, because it’s easier for her and dad. Then she texts me last night and said she would stay with her dad tonight.
I just don’t get it. You have M who is hiring a lawyer yet again because his ex keeps violiatong the parenting agreement with doctors appointments and he fought like hell to get the custody he has. Then there is my d!ck of an ex who wants zero extra time added onto the little he has and let’s his daughter know that.
I pray my child doesn’t have all these daddy issues when she gets older trying to get me a attention. I fear it. But I’m crossing my fingers that won’t happen.
I am happy it is Friday and I have a weekend where I am not working. It's a D11 weekend and my dad and stepmom and her mother and D11 and I are going to Princeton to see a Christmas Carol and have a nice dinner. The dog is also getting groomed. He's super hairy. Tuesday, he is getting is losing his manhood. This dog is expensive. Sunday D11 and I will have our annual fudge and cookie making day. Tonight, I think I am just going to relax because I am exhausted.
I am indeed very tired all the time lately. I don't know if it's working so much and so hard, or because I am not eating healthy, or a combination. I need to get my sh!t together. I'd better not be pregnant! I think I am just overworked and overwhelmed. I haven't gotten a check up at the doctor because I don't want to get on the scale and I know I am not so healthy. So, I really should make steps to change this.
I agreed to work until from 8-12 Christmas morning. I am covering a coworker who wants to see her grandkids open presents. (at my other job) I am also work 2 jobs on Christmas eve. Since D11 doesn't get back until 1pm on Christmas day, why not? I also am covering new years day for someone. I have no new years eve plans (M will be with his son) and I don't have D11, so bring on the time and a half! I'll be doing a lot fo travelling for the wedding I am in this year, so I will need the money.
I have to go on some field trip the higher ups at my full-time hated job today. I really don't want to go! I am hoping I don't make the move with the new company and end up at the other hospital full time. They are all gunning for me to get the position. It would be the answer to many prayers. I think a part of my exhaustion is a touch of depression coming to work. I got so mad at a coworker yesterday. Everyone is a power tripper here. I had a PT questioning my work, going behind my back to the doctor, who got mad at him, because he is also questioning her. We got a good laugh on the phone both calling him Dr. Steve and how we want to smack him. I decided I am going to walk into the PT gym and tell him he is doing his job wrong.
Ugh. Now to my dear dear daughter. She had her holiday concert last night. She tells me she has all this homework to do. I told her I find it kind of mean the teachers would do that on the concert night. That's when she tells me she knew about these assignments for a month. She left them until the very last second, on the night of her concert and the day she has her after school club. She was up until after 10 doing them and crying. And blaming everyone and everything but herself. Then this morning she realizes she forgot to study for a test.
I don't know if it is my failure? I don't keep up and follow her homework assignements anymore. She is in the 6th grade and I feel it is her responsibility. The last time this happened I took away weekly screentime and bought her a planner she asked for to organize her assignments. Clearly none of that helped. So I guess I have to go back to checking everything every night and she lost her weekday screen time. she is an honor roll student, but could be a high honor roll student if she got some responsibility. Maybe I haven't been present enough because I am too tired. I am seriously burnt out. Doing this alone, it's exhausting. Tooo many balls to juggle.
So, there is my huge vent journaling post. I can't wait to go to bed and it is 9:30am!
G - I do not keep up with my D's homework. When it is my week to have them I just run out of hours in the day. Between taking care of them and getting them to their activities while trying to balance some sort of time for myself at the gym or at the end of the day. I do what I can do and if that mean they won't get into Harvard then so be it
It's definitely a lot to do. My daughter is academically inclined which I like to nurture, but can be a huge procrastinator. I cannot go back to night micromanaging, but I need to come up with some plan to keep her accountable. She may not be getting into Harvard, but if she wants to go anywhere she needs a little scholarship money, ya know?
Me time seems to be heavily sacrificed these days. I pay ALOT to go to crossfit, but I can only make it once a week. I think I might follow your lead and get atleast one 5:30 am class in per week with two 6 pm classes. As I mentioned, I've put on weight, I'm not eating too hot...... although I also did sign up for Kettlebell Kitchen which is a meal preparation service that delivers to your gym. I do 3 meals a week which I eat either for lunch or dinner.
I try to make life easier, but it isn't so cost effective all the time.
I didn't get any scholarships for college so I ended up taking out some loans, I also worked part-time, and my parents did chip in some money. I will be in the same boat though (made worse with this stupid divorce) with not fully being able to put my D's through college so I do understand.
I like the morning workouts because it is quiet in the gym and I get it over with first thing. It does require a early bed time though and it is also not the primary time to meet hot chicks. It does fit my schedule though and the importance of going out weights meeting hot ladies which is why I stick to it.
Well G I think weight gain and a new R go hand in hand. It's hard to get to the gym when your having crazy sex.
It's funny. Both of my kids were quite accomplished academically. Both of them also were poor at getting assignments done.
I know that I could have done better on staying on top of things but even with asking them "do you have any homework" and assisting when asked a large number of assignments were also incomplete or a half-@ss job was done at the last minute.
Both of them went to University and neither did well in that unstructured environment and I think that's the key there. They need to have a structure that they take ownership of. Maybe some of the "super-dads" here can chime in on what works for them.
It is certainly tougher I would imagine as a single parent but I raised my kids in a two parent household and my daughter is a housewife (and a darned good one) and works part time at a book shop. My son is a literal ditch digger.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
My daughter is actually organized. More than me, believe or not. She is just a huge procrastinator and would rather do what she wants to do.
I worry. I know I would have never survived this divorce as a 27 year old new mother without a career of my own. I honestly don't care if her future spouse is rich, I really, really think it is important for her to be self-supporting, because I know the reality of divorce, and the reality of divorce at a young age. In NJ, there is no alimony for any marriage under 10 years. She needs to be able to stand on her own 2 feet. Whether she finds her career path through college, or a trade school or working her way up. she's got to have one. This is not me knocking on those who choose to say home, it's just that I am so close to the reality of what could happen if I wasn't working when my ex left. And I wouldn't be able to support her and her family, even though I would try like heck.
I just got a call from the eye doctor that my ex's glasses are ready. He takes our D with him and his wife because she is on their plan. But they have my number to pick up my daughter's glasses, but call me about the rest of them too. I finally said "can you please call him and let him know?'
I also made reservations at a fancy steakhouse by me for next Friday for M and I. He has never been, so I decided I would treat him. It's where all the Housewives of NJ have their parties. They also have a speak easy downstairs we can have drinks before and after dinner. I told him I made the reservations and he is very excited. It's ok to treat your man once in a while to something nice, right? he treated me last weekend, picked up the uber rides, the dinner, the before and after drinks..... I try to keep it balanced.
I think that's awesome G......I love it when a woman treats. it tells me she is a giver and aware of the financial burden that generally in a dating R the man absorbs.
I agree! I've always been impressed when a woman wants to pick up the tab. Wild girl actually insisted on this on our first real date. Now in this case I didn't like it as much but it made it clear right away that she was not in this for a free dinner. I remember way back to when I was 26 and was dating a 19 year old (I guess this dating younger pattern started early with me) and she bought dinner on like our third date. She may have been one of the first to do it. VERY IMPRESSED as well - so much so I remember it fondly 30 years later.
Hey Joseph your thread locked. You need to start a new one!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
As the old fart in the room, I pretty much always expect to pay. In the dates I've had with CL she will pick up the tab from time to time and I politely look surprised and thank her. I did offer to arm-wrestle her for it the once though - she declined and paid anyway.
To me it's relatively meaningless other than the fact that I don't keep track. I do think though that looking at it from the point of view that the person who asks the other out should pay / expect to pay as they are the "host". So since you've arranged it and asked M out it's reasonable that you pay since he is your guest.
It would actually (IMO) be rude to ask someone out to a high end place and then expect them to pay.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I had a nice busy weekend which didn't include work, so it was great. I hung Christmas lights Friday night, my kitchen got done, had yes another pipe leak which got fixed, go the dog groomed, D11 went ice skating with her friends, we went to Princeton for dinner and a show which was really good Satruday night with the fam. Sunday D11 and I went ot a Christmas market in town and out to breakfast, grocery shopping, then made fudge and cookies.
M and I were chatting this weekend and it does turn out he has another vacation week with his S which equals 3 weekends in a row with him and zero weekends for us. He asked me when I was free so we could spend time together. I'll see him later tonight, Friday night and sunday. It's difficult for me, because it's really me who causes the gaps in our schedule. He is available almost every weeknight after a certain time, I've got only one weeknight. It's pretty tough. I've been having to choose between friends and him too with my free time. A friend I haven't hung out in a while is free Saturday night so I chose to make plans with her. But I'll see him Friday and sunday, so that's fine.
We can't spend new years eve together which stinks. We are planning a small weekend getway in jan/feb to Vermont. The future looks bright, but yes, I am getting a little anxious to when we might ease into some friends/family stuff. I think it's going that way, I just don't know when.
I decided to intermittent fast this week because I want to look good Friday. Seriously though, my body needs a detox and a kickstart. Got to get my health back on track. I feel gross.
I know how when you like some one you just want to spend lots of time with them. Establish bonds. Get to know them. But it wont always be like this. Once you get to the point that the kids meet, it will get easier and you guys will be able to see each other more. Just enjoy the romance for now. Its nice to have that escape in the beginning. The rest will fall into place.
Thanks Juju. It is kind of difficult wanting to be together more often, but we simply can't right now. We enjoy the romance, the "us" time right now, and you are absolutely right, when the time comes, it will come, and I am not going to rush it.
Although we did have a late date last night. Especially for a Monday night, but that is when we got to see each other. Saturday he had mentioned that his family comes over to his house for Christmas eve. Last night he asked me how late I was working Christmas eve and I said I do my second job until 7. He then told me to come over when I get off of work and meet his family. His son won't be there, but his mom, his brother, his wife, and other relatives will be. I have been waiting for this to happen and now I am scared!! I need to impress! I need to find a proper gift to bring and the such. This is a big step in my book. This is real.
I stayed at his place last night. When we were cuddling he said "how did I get so lucky?" I almost cried. Guys have fed me lines before, but he is definitely sincere. I think that's another way he is different from the others. He is very sincere and genuine and when he says something, he means it.
This is what love feels like. I've never really known it. My ex, that wasn't love. It was the most conditional love if it was. ExNG, that wasn't love either. It was a selfish love on his part. FF, more of an infatuation.
M is very very different the feeling. He is a different person than all the others.
Ok, I am getting too mushy here.
My beanie is getting his beans removed today. My poor baby. But he needs to chill out with the hormones a little, lol.
And yesterday I get back to crossfit and my 6pm peeps were taking the 5PM class! I actually took the 6pm class solo with a new instructor who happens to be an ex marine and have 0.1% body fat. I had to show up, lol. I am extra sore from ALL my exercise.
I need to impress! I need to find a proper gift to bring and the such.
Fudge.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I need to impress! I need to find a proper gift to bring and the such.
Fudge.
Ohhhhhhhh....Andrew.....come sit by me!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I DO make the best fudge, hands down. I taste tested the fudge we made this weekend and it's out of this world.
Now I want fudge
You come sit by me too, G....and bring fudge!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
m and I were chatting and we were talking about how we are equally different and similar. He said that our similarities make him feel relaxed and good and where we are different we help each other. Then he tells me something that makes me cry. He told me the opposite of what every other guy tells me. Instead of telling me “something doesn’t feel quite right” he tells me “ everything just feels right with you”
Work still stinks. It's so bad, we have therapists come talk to us today. But my coworker is back, so my load is lightened, as you can see by my activity on here.
But it's the furthest thing from my mind.
I woke up this morning and actually had to read my texts to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I wasn't. He really said "things feel right with you". And what we said about our differences, where instead of making things impossible or making us a bad match, they are differences they are used to help each other and grow. I mean, isn't that exactly what it is supposed to be? Isn't that what makes two people compatible? What more could you possibly look for? The other puzzle pieces are all in place too. I look forward to just nurturing and growing what we have.
There was a shift this week. I can't explain it. Like we both broke down some walls and let each other in a little more. Opened our hearts up a little more. Like we have been feeling it but have been holding it back. I didn't say this, but when I met him on Monday, he was sitting at the bar, I walked in and came up behind him and when he saw it was me, his face literally just lit up. So did mine. It sounds corny, but from that second, walls just crumbles. Not like we had major walls up, but the smart ones we built that were there to protect us for a little while.
Oh, and I little joke, don't blow it out of proportion, to break the ice of our touchy feely conversations he says "OMG, let's have a baby!" and immediately a "J/K". Then we began talking about my nutless dog who can no longer bear children. DO I think a part of him would like to have another child if we worked out? Yes. A part of me would too. My age is the only thing that is of huge concern for me. If I was in my early 30's, and we were together and we got married, the man I know now is the one I wouldn't hesitate to have more kids with. Ugh.
Don't worry I'm not getting married, not having babies, not moving in together any time soon. But I am pretty sure kid introductions will come in the new year. And I think that would be the right time.
G - I don't think 2 people are ever the same in a R. I do believe that your CORE values need to be aligned and that you need have similar interests as well. As far as differences go I would say they are good as long as those differences won't be something that later down the road will drive you a part.
My XW and I are very different people with very different interests. She was more artsy fartsy, into reading, painting, just creative in general. I am more your a typical man I guess into sports, beer, working out, being outside, athletic, etc. It was hard for us to find similar things to do together that we enjoyed because she wasn't going to sit there, drink beer, and watch a football game with me.
So for me on the differences I think it just depends on what they are and if those differences compliment 1 another. As The Coach says you should approach a R looking at what you can give to it not what you can get out of it.
Our core values are completely aligned. My ex and I were not, at all. My ex and I had everything that would later down the road drive us apart, and it did. We did both enjoy the gym, similar music and attending concerts, game nights with friends, gambling, ect. We had more similar interests in activities, but the values were polar opposites.
Our interests are similar an different too. We both like beer, lol, dining out, just hanging at home talking. We are both open minded and will try new things. We both like hiking, and he got me into fishing. He's a serious snowboarder and I told him I was interested in trying it and he got excited about it, and we are going to make a weekend trip out of it when the conditions are right. However, that is HIS activity and I wouldn't intrude on it if I ended of liking it. We clearly at different levels. He's visited some of the most amazing mountains in the US and Canada. That's his thing. I enjoy the gym, he doesn't. But we both like to do yoga together. SO we like to stay in decent shape, but in different ways. He doesn't like to watch sports, but I like my hockey, and he is the type who would watch a game with me, if I was interested.
I think we both give a good amount and get out equally. It's pretty cool
I am not concerned about any differences. I think our differences are healthy ones.And in terms of differences, I think it is more our life experiences, our divorces, our current situations with parenting and the such. They are very different, yet very similar. How to handle different situations we might be in and giving advice regarding that. That's where our differences lie mainly. he fights so hard for time with his kid, I have most of it with zero fight. My ex and I get along, they have to work things out through courts and do kid exchanges at police stations. I was cheated on, he was not, it was mutual. That kind of stuff. So, we have a lot to offer in regards to life experiences.
Seriously, I think things are going great for you Ginger and have every hope that they will continue. That said, SLOW DOWN girl. It's only been three months. THREE MONTHS. That's really nothing when looking at long term R. I think it's a milestone as three months does seem to be a cutting period for the dating that makes it past 3 or 4 dates. However, Wild Girl and I made it nearly four months before she got squirrelly - or whatever it is that happened - and even that final chapter is yet to be written. You did three months with FF - more than that with the long distance guy. It's still very much the infatuation period. You've not even had a big argument yet. If this were 9 months from now, and being positive - when you get to a year full year and the feelings are the same - that will be hugely different than it is now.
It's always so interesting to see people give great advice about other sitchs - myself included. Joseph is correct in that solid Rs come down to the big things like core values and beliefs. How do both of you see the value of money, spending it, saving it? Will one want to save and the other not care if they have anything put away for retirement? What about discipline of children? Religion? Drug use? Communication? Notice I'm not saying anything about interest in sports, hobby's, etc. What about politics? Does one want to do away with the welfare system in it's entirety while the other can't walk past a homeless person without giving him $5 bucks?
THESE ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ are the things that tend to really make or break an R over time. Of course the little stuff can as well but the little stuff is nearly always just a symptom of the big stuff. The wife will say she's really upset he didn't take out the garbage but it's really something far larger she's mad about but can't bring it up so she uses the garbage. Guys do the same - lest you think I'm calling out women only.
As for the "Let's have a baby" - Okay, this is the second time he's said that - actually it's the second time you've reported here that he's said that. Something is up there! He's not just joking - which was my contention the first time he said it. It's yet another of the things that spell the success of failure of a true R. If one really wants a baby and the other doesn't - or can't, it's far larger than one likes beer and the other does not.
Ginger you have the chance here to again get into uncharted territory - being in a healthy R for the first time. Just like by your own admission it took you many, many guys and failed attempts to get dating down to where you find a guy for a potential LTR - it could be the same here with that LTR guy. It's all these new things that I don't think you've looked at before that come into play - the values, the morals, the money, politics, religion, parenting, sex, - oh well you've got that one down but the others on the list - that's going to be new for you. But they are the real important things - far beyond the lower level interests.
Please continue to enjoy where you are at. There is nothing from what you're telling us that should keep you from continuing on with M - nothing. Just don't get ahead of yourself. three months is THREE MONTHS. See how that first big argument goes. See how he handles his children - it may be the opposite of what you believe. See how he handles money. You already brought up the THC. If it's truly not a red flag for you it's truly not but it could become one. For others I know that it is.
Keep seeing him, keep your eyes wide open, keep learning and keep growing. Enjoy the infatuation period. It's fun and warm and wonderful. Just know that it doesn't last - for anyone. And that's where the real R starts.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
It's always so interesting to see people give great advice about other sitchs - myself included.
Brain fart here - that should have read "It's always so interesting to see people give great advice about other sitchs even when they struggle to see things clearly with their own - myself included.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Oh, what really sparked our conversation last night was our conversation was sparked by the major topics, mainly parenting, religion, communication and how to handle conflict. And we have the same stance and discussion on drug use, alcohol, and what we will teach our kids regarding it. We speak of our value in treating others with kindness, understanding and empathy and the values we instill in our kids. We have had the heavy duty conversations about the important topics and we see eye to eye on them. We haven't placed too much in action yet, we haven't been given the chance, but I am sure when we do, we will handle them well. he is just about the calmest guy I know who can handle himself so well without being nasty mean or stupid.
The kid thing, like I said, I think he would like one although it isn't a deal breaker. It's tough at our age with this topic.
I made the huge mistake of disregarding the big differences my ex and I had. Compatibility goes so far beyond liking the same music or sports team. No one knows that better than I.
So far, so good. No red flags yet, and I am enjoying what we have and getting to know eachother more and more each and every day. right now I am just looking forward to our romantic date tomorrow night. A few drinks, a delicious steak, maybe some edible dessert, and definitely the other kind of dessert. And Saturday is one of the first mornings neither of us have to run out to work or kids whatever it be and we are going to enjoy a rainy day together.
I didn’t stir up drama this weekend, but it was great. We had a very nice dinner Friday night. It was funny because they put us in the party room and service wasn’t A+. It made us laugh though. The manager kept coming over without us asking. We discussed if we were the types to ever complain at a restaurant. Neither of us are. But we did laugh when the bus by threw out the very expensive left overs the waiter was supposed to wrap up. They waited to see if we noticed and when we asked for them, they admitted they were thrown put and we’d got a free filet mingonon and mashed potatoes to go! He actually went to pay. I said “no way, I asked you ou tonight!!!!” He was very appreciative.
He stayed over and left about 9:30 am Saturday and we did our own things. I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. It was nice. Then today I had a hair consultation appt by his house so I picked him up and we went for a delicious brunch. We went back to his house and watched an hour of these funny videos cracking up dying laughing in his bed. His mom stopped on his room to say hi. Slightly awkward but she was really nice. Then later we shut the door , wink wink. We fell asleep but I finally hadn’t to go Home to let the dog out. I invited him over for dinner but he was tired and it wasn’t pouring rain outside so I told him to Stay home.
Oh, and D11 finally met him! Over FaceTime, lol. She FaceTimed when I was at his house nd she’s asked to say hi. It was cute. I think it’s might hold her off for a while. It was funny too, because she was in the front seat next to her dad.
Ah! I love being with him. We maybe have to more days together until the end of the year. But it’s is what it is. I’m thankful for the ti tome we get to spend together, it’s always good
So, I still haven't gotten M a Christmas gift. The other night he texted me some of the professional photos from the wedding. There was this incredible one of him and his son. I told him he needs to blow that one up and put it on canvas. So then the idea came to me to get it for him for Christmas. The photographer's webpage was on the photo he sent me because they are proofs. The account with the pictures of course is password protected. I was thinking about reaching out to his brother but I have never met him and that seems creepy. Then there is an email at the bottom of the photography website so I was going to explain and see if I can order this one print.
Is that super creepy? I don't want anyone to think I am nuts.
It's not too super creepy. He's shown you the picture already. If you had cyber-stalked him to that photographer then it might be otherwise.
The photographer may well resist because of privacy reasons. On the other hand you have tangible proof that the photo was shared with you.
If you email the photographer, reference the event and include the picture texted to you, you'll probably "get away with it".
From the little I know of M - he's an "acts of service" kind of guy. So something that says "thanks for being a super guy and Dad" would undoubtedly go over well. Question though - is he the kind of guy who has family pictures on his wall? Some people like pictures and some don't.
As an "acts of service" guy myself I really appreciated any time that people put obvious thought and effort into a gift as opposed to just spending. This certainly falls in to that category.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
You are right Andrew, he is an act of service type of guy. It is the effort and thought that he likes. I do not think he is into monetary materialistic gifts at all.
His bedroom is all pics of him and his son. That's why I thought it would be really nice. I also know from firsthand experience when you don't have the parent of your child making these kinds of gestures with the kids, it is a nice thing to receive from someone else.
Maybe I'll just give it a shot and see what I can do. And if they say they can't for privacy reasons, then I won't push it.
I think the picture idea is great, especially since he already shared it with you and you know he has pictures in his house. I LOVE getting pictures as gifts and I remind my children of that ALL the time. LOL I think it is a very kind and considerate gift on your part and as someone who is an acts of service kind of guy, he would most assuredly appreciate it. On the off chance that the photographer can't do it for you for whatever reason, could you do like a gift certificate or something that would allow M to get it done but you pay for it? I know people say gift certificates are impersonal, but since this is for something very specific and very personal, I don't think it is bad. (Of course, I LIKE getting gift cards, so again, I'm probably weird. LOL)
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
So, I reached out to the photographer and then she replied that she reached out to his brother for permission! They said it was absolutely fine and she gave me the code. So out of my comfort zone. I hope they don't think I am nuts. I might be meeting them on Christmas Eve.
That's great! I'm sure he will love it. And surely his family will appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gesture. Good luck on meeting them.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
So, I went in and ended up ordering him exactly what I told him he should get, and I didn't even know it was something that was available directly from them. It was kind of pricey, I also had to rush the delivery and hopefully it makes it.
I was talking with my rather smart child and she realized something. Her and her friend group bought eachother Christmas gifts. There is one friend in the group who is just becoming D11's friend and she doesn't think that she bought D11 anything, but D11 didn't want to leave her out. She re-gifted from our home, lol. She said she doesn't want to make her feel bad if she didn't get D11 anything, so she will give it to her if she had a gift for her. I'm proud my daughter is so thoughtful of how what she does might affect someone elses's feelings, even if it is a nice gesture. But then here I am saying to myself "what if M didn't get me anything and he feels bad?" we probably should have had that discussion like KML said. I am gift giver and never expect to receive. I have been used to not really receiving any Christmas gifts for years (except from my dad and stepmom really, and a gift from D11). I give more than I get and I enjoy that more. Maybe his brother hinted to him somehow? I don't know. We are seeing eachother tonight.
In other news, I have been 2 full days carb free, sugar free, and alcohol free and drinking tons of water and in the gym twice in a row. I haven't killed anyone which is a plus. I am much less bloated and feel a bit better. Today I will keep it up but we are grabbing a drink tonight, but I may not go with my beloved beer. If there is not celebration I do not need treats. But I will treat when celebrating. I need to get back on track. I do this food prep thing which preps healthy food and delivers to my gym and it is delicious. Not cheap, $11.95 a meal, but 3 meals a week, saves on grocery bill, and going to buy quick junk. While I am not happy with the way I look, it's the healthy portion of it which is why I am really doing this. I have a feeling my cholesterol is through the roof and my family has a heavy history of type 2 diabetes. And I am not getting any younger. I also want to kill it in the gym, because it makes me feel good.
So, that's my ramble. I can't believe Christmas is almost here and I am working long hours next Monday and Christmas morning, but I took the day off after Christmas. I'll be seeing a movie with D11, the ex and the wife, then visiting my friend for a little party.
Oh, and funny, on the way to dropping D11 off today she says to me "Mommy, you have been with M the longest than any other guy! Why do you say you don't want to get married? What if he asks you 3 years from now, what are you going to say?!" I told her marriage wasn't necessary for me but I would say yes if were still together.
Out of the mouths of babes. Sad that almost 4 months is the longest, lol. exNG was 6, but we were LD.
Oh, and funny, on the way to dropping D11 off today she says to me "Mommy, you have been with M the longest than any other guy! Why do you say you don't want to get married? What if he asks you 3 years from now, what are you going to say?!" I told her marriage wasn't necessary for me but I would say yes if were still together.
Out of the mouths of babes. Sad that almost 4 months is the longest, lol. exNG was 6, but we were LD.
Your daughter is a very smart young lady and she wants to see you happy. She wants your to find your prince and, yes, she's keeping tabs on how long you've been seeing M. Don't ever think she's not observing! LOL!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I agree with you both. She really does want me to be happy. And OMG, she is ALWAYS observing! I am under a microscope with that one!
What a crazy night. We met up at my local pub and some beers and talked and talked and had a good time like always. he came back to my place. Around 2:30 am I heard the dog pushing around his food bowls. I figured he wanted some water, so I gave him some and he drank 2 bowls! I figured he was really thirsty. I went back to bed but then I heard him whining. so I figured he had to go pee. Well, it turns out he had gotten into these boxed of chocolate I had! He ate a bunch of chocolate truffles! I immediately googled this and according to google it was like my dog was going to die. I stayed up with his for a while and he seemed fine enough. I went back to bed and M awoke and I told him what happened. He was worried for the trouble maker too and said we will just keep an eye on him and call the vet in the morning. Well, then the dogs sugar rush came. OMG, He wanted in the room, on the bed, off the bed, all over the place. he kept us up for the rest of night. I felt so bad. M was so good about it, petting him when he was in the bed and wasn't angry about not getting any sleep. He ended up leaving at 5:15am, and I went back to sleep and the dog was going nuts again and it turned out he had 2 huge vomits in my kitchen. He had calmed down. I told work I was coming in late and I waited until the vet opened. He told me it was safe to leave him and go to work and just to feed him slowly today. Apparently he ate the least toxic kind of chocolate so that was good. I am hoping I don't come home him having vomited in his crate.
I can raise a kid, I can be a good nurse, but I stink at raising a puppy! When I get home today I am going to really puppy proof the home until he calms his butt down. because he is in EVERYTHING! I am going to crate him at night too if he isn't in my bed.
M was good about everything. he even texted later asking how he was doing and that he was worried for the little guy so he googled too. I told him everything was alright and I apologized for the sleepless night and I thanked him for caring about me and the dog and being so good.
Confession: It is yet again my time of the month and the ultra sensitivity/paranoia kicked in. I hate it. I all of a sudden think he is going to break up with me out of no where. I have got to shake this. he saw a little of my sensitivity last night. When I saw him he kissed me hello and asked me how I was and I asked him how he was and he was like "eh, ok" which isn't like him, he is always upbeat. I said I had some sort of feeling like something was wrong and was everything ok? I didn't mean with us necessarily, he gets like that when his exW does something stupid. He was like nah, I'm ok. I told him maybe it was my weird period sensitivity I should warn him about. He laughed and said "period paranoia?" I said something like that.
I've been comfortable with him lately without the fear of him saying out of nowhere "this isn't working". It hit me like a ton of bricks lately. I realized how safe and comfortable I was becoming with his. And it scared me, because I feel like I need to be ready for him to dump me at anytime. It's an awful feeling. Atleast D11 said "I really think he's the one and you're going to get married". Again, out of the mouths of babes
Hi there G. It's great to hear you so positive and happy. Sorry to hear about the puppy problems. I hope that at least the head-humping has stopped
I've always been a believer that a well trained dog is a joy to both the family that it is part of and to the dog itself. You and D11 will need to learn how to be good puppy parents as much as the fuzzy guy needs to know how to be a responsible member of the family.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Atleast D11 said "I really think he's the one and you're going to get married". Again, out of the mouths of babes
I just wanted to chime in on this. D11 is your daughter and like you, she probably goes "all in" and believes in dreams. She's just not been burned as many times as you have. I would suggest that you have a talk with her and let her know that you are very happy with M and that "perhaps" some day there would be a wedding. But that the future is a very uncertain land and that it's perhaps best for now to live in the present and enjoy it and see where it leads you both.
Things are indeed going well and dreams do sometimes come true and this relationship seems really good and it probably IS really good. But to protect your D, you may want to tamp down her expectations even though you really like hearing them.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I totally agree on all accounts. He is a little terror and is definitely more of a challenge than I could have imagined. I have had 2 puppies and they had puppies, and they were nothing like this. So, the reigns will be tighter at home and I am finally going ot sign him up for obedience classes. I said I wanted to do this right, and I am going to do this right. I feel like I failed and I am kind of embarrassed. M knows he is a terror too and said the same as you did, actually.
As far as D11, I most absolutely had that talk with her when she said that. I said it is still early on, we are getting to know each other, and who knows what the future will bring and we take it one day at a time. It's been almost 4 months and they still haven't met and I am going to do right by her and protect her until I feel comfortable.
I am just having a bad day. Insecurities and scars are surfacing from my ex and past R's. Things really ARE good, almost too good to be true. I don't know how to handle that. I also feel like I am being judged by this chocolate incident which I know he isn't. But it is something my ex would have done. he wouldn't have been nice about it and made suggestions. He would have called me an idiot and belittled me. I feel like an idiot and I have this feeling of inferiority deep down inside. I excel in some areas of my life. Other areas I am weak. I am afraid to show weakness though, as my ex always prayed on weaknesses.
I need to cautiously trust that M is different and he really does see the value in my strengths and weaknesses. Which he has actually stated but calling them differences rather than weaknesses.
We haven't made any firm plans, but we are both free sunday night. Might spend some time together. Then Christmas eve he said by the time I get there his family may not really be there anymore but I am invited to spend time with him and his dog, lol. Who knows if I will meet them. Then we have a bit of time apart.
I just need some sleep, I need the hormones to calm down, and maybe I also need a little IC to help me through.
What a weekend. Friday night we had friends over, had pizza and made cookies. Saturday morning D11 and I took an adult yoga class together! It was really cool to be able to enjoy one of my activities with her. She liked it, and luckily her dad will pay for half of her classes. I am going to try for one a week with her. We went shopping for some groceries and made a nice dinner satruday. Sunday we had a really nice lunch with friends, then I drove her to her dad's house.
I saw her dad's new home for the first time. He was home, the wifey wasn't. He showed me around the downstairs and her room. It's a small house, but suits them fine. They have 2 full baths which is nice. It was kind of funny because they finally got a new couch (they had the one ex and I bought in 2004). he said "I don't even sit it on, I sit on the recliner which was behind the couch, away from everyone. The only thing upstairs was their bedroom. He said "want to see the rest of the house?" Like I really needed to see where they do the nasty. Before we go up he says "I'm sorry, it's a disaster, but what am I going to do?" It was indeed a disaster. I've mentioned this before, because it both really irks me and gives me a sense of satisfaction. Their situation is no better at his house with the housekeeping skills. My ex always was not satisfied with my housekeeping abilities. I am not super neat at all and a little messy, but I am clean. And my house is neat. Sometimes messy, but I am always picking up. It wasn't me with the poor housekeeping abilities. I keep a decent house. They keep a disaster. And there are 2 of them who can clean and they don't have the kid that often. Then they had these cheater bags instead of wrapping paper and I made a joke about it. He says " you know me, that was not my doing" He has always been so anal about his present wrapping. But the "you know me". No, I don't know you. We haven't been together for many years, you've been with your wife long her than you have been with me. Who knows what has changed and what hasn't.
The interesting thing is how disconnected they seem. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors. But they seem to coexist. Passion, I am not seeing it. Whenever I see them together, he talks to me more than her and they both have their heads in their phones. No physical touch at all. And my ex is very physical touch. Or he was. Maybe they just feel weird in front of me, I don't know. Not that I care but it does stick out to me. I wonder if he has settled on someone who is just loyal to him and puts up with his BS.
Anyways, M came over last night and set up one of D11's gifts for me. Then we watched Home Alone and just talked and he stayed over. Things are good. I don't know why I was feeling the way I did. We were in my basement and he was looking at how he could put more outlets into D11's bedroom and where the mold is he is going to take care of for me. Then he said he will hang my curtain rods. I think that's all very sweet. Tonight I might meet the fam. I am a little nervous. Then I won't see him for over a week. I feel the "I love you" words about to spill out my mouth often, but I won't let them. Going to hold back.
merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy your families, enjoy your time off if you have.
You have absolutely nothing to fear about meeting his family. Just be yourself, watch the "potty" mouth that you often speak of and things will be just fine. I think it's wonderful that he wants everyone to know who you are and vice versa. Just enjoy yourself!
As for your xh, sounds like they are just roommates and nothing passionate about them at all. As for being messy, they are comfortable in their mess apparently and that speaks volumes on how the truly live. Do not compare your lifestyle to theirs...you are far, far above them in housekeeping and living your life to the fullest.
Merry Christmas to you and yours. Enjoy the holidays and have fun...that is what Christmas is about...having fun w/family and friends. It is a time to reconnect w/those you haven't seen or heard from for a while.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I met the family yesterday! The mom, brother and wife. Loved them! They are so incredibly. Ice and we sat around talking all night. Such kind friendly people and easy to talk to.
I stayed over but left at 5am and now I’m finishing up my morning job then home I go and D11 will be there shortly. Her dad FaceTimed me in when she opened her new I phone xR. She was thrilled!
I’ve got a cold and I am on no sleep and would like nothing more than a Christmas nap.
So, last night was a big step for me. He must be a little serious about me to introduce me to the fam. I’m glad all went well. I’m going to miss him a lot until I see him again, but last night was incredible 😉😉.
I am so happy that everything turned out okay w/meeting his family. I am sure that they loved you too!
Did you daughter enjoy all of her gifts? Did the pup rip into any more packages or knock the tree over this afternoon? Just think...what a wonderful Christmas all of you had in your new home!
May the new year bring more wonderful and happy surprises for you and your daughter.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job: my daughter was thrilled with her gifts, she got everything she wanted plus an iPhone xR from me and her dad. They facetimed me in when she opened it. I must say she did pretty darn well. The pup got his own stocking with toys and stuff to chew on and he is happy as well. Luckily the tree remains standing and I will most likely put it away this weekend.
Christmas dinner was ok, we had a nice time. I was just tired most of the day and even took a nap. I have a week to myself....no child and no boyfriend. Time to get some stuff done this weekend I guess. I am working on New years day 10-6.
I can't remember if I wrote that the full time position opened at my part time job..... I am so excited! I really do hope I get it, I am going to apply tomorrow.
I did tell M yesterday I enjoyed spending time with his family and I hope we can hang out together again soon. He said "I'm pretty sure that will be happening in the future" with a kissy face. Hope that's a good sign.
we send lots of pics back and forth of our kids, and our families, his Christmas looked like so much fun. I do hope the time comes soon we can start doing some things all together. I'd love to slowly bring the 2 worlds together. I understand it's a big step, as our kids are our most sacred parts of us. It's a big deal. I am sad we can't see echother for at the very least, a week. but I am giving everything the time it needs to grow.
I had my movie and lunch with the ex fam. His sister and 2 kids and mom came along as well as them. It cracks me up still that he goes to take his nephew to the bathroom and hands me his coat to handle instead of his wife...… they have been together officially longer than we were and married longer than we were and he still can't break those habits? It's just weird.
I am officially the fatest non pregnant I have ever been. I realize I have been avoiding pictures like the plague, but I took some last night and posted them...…. and I can barely look at myself. I feel gross and I look gross and I have to get back on track. I am hoping to straighten myself out in real soon. I can't live like this anymore. I also need to go to doctor for a physical but I won't because I know I've gained weight and my cholesterol is probably bad.
I think things will calm down a bit more where I can focus more on me. I plan to exercise 4 days in a row and eat healthy. I have to do this for me.
So as luck would have it, I ended up in the ER this morning. The past few days I haven't been feeling hot and I realized I had a bladder infection. I was going to go to occupational med yesterday at lunch time but had a very demanding case I was working on that sucked up my whole day and I didn't even get lunch. I got home and hit the couch immediately. I began having pretty bad lower abdominal pain to the point I was curled up in a ball on my couch. I dragged myself off the couch to get advil which helped a little, I slept a little and woke up with awful flank pain. I felt like I was in labor. I figured at this point it was a kidney stone or infection. I drove myself to the ER at the hospital that my second job is at. They were awesome. I had some IV Toradol and it helped with the 10/10 pain. Had a CT scan and when they checked my urine the doc said it was a very bad bladder infection that traveled to my kidney's. The radiologist was backed up, so he couldn't read my CT. The ER doctor said if there was a stone along with my infection, they would have to admit me. They gave me a dose of IV antibiotics and oral antibiotics which I have to take for 2 weeks. NO stone, and they let me go. I came home and caught up on some sleep. I have my whole weekend to myself in which I planned to to be super productive but the energy is super low. I did finally make myself do some stuff in the kitchen. It was supposed ot be a weekend of exercise too, I was going to take a spin class tomorrow, but I think I probably shouldn't. I'm thankful I didn't get admitted. I am thankful D11 is away with her dad and she didn't have to come with me. It was very nice, I stopped by the gym to pick up my food and told them what happened and I said I was most worried about the dog if I got admitted and they said anytime I needed help with the dog or D11, to not hesitate to call.
So, I am going to just try to drink my fluids and take it easy. Get my stuff around the house done but not go nuts.
On a positive note, I have an interview for the full time position next week. It's a formality I believe and I think I have a good chance of getting it, but I don't want ot jinx myself. It would be so awesome. AND if D11 does this special high school program, her high school would be across the street from my work!
I think things will work themselves out the way they are supposed to.
Feel better soon Ginger1! It is wonderful to know that you can have people around you who you can count on.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I hope you feel better soon. Those infections ae the worse. They can really drag you down quickly. Keep yourself warm, drink lots of water and cranberry juice.
Whatever you were planning to do around the house can wait another day. Your health and well being is far more important right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks so much for the well wishes! I can’t believe this happened. I managed to do stuff for an hour but now I’m knocked out and I’m very achy and praying I’m not spiking a fever. I’m a little hungry but can’t even get up to make something.
I think being alone hits me hard when I get sick. I wish M could be here or even stop and grab me some soup and give me a hug. But he’s got his son, he can’t do any of that. I miss D11, she’s always helpful when mommy is sick. But she is in NH. Luckily her dad brought her to get a dress and shoes for her cheerleading banquet Saturday. They sent me pictures and they made a good choice!
When I was in the ER I was joking around with my nurse (male) and I said this is killing my plans of cleaning the house. He said “call the hubby and tell him to get everything done!!” I was like, yeah, there is no hubby. That reminder hits me sometimes . But I am fortunate there are people out there who would be there for me if I really needed it.
I’m praying I’m not spiking a fever and having to go back to the Er .ive got to say what exceptional service today. Within 5 minutes I had an ekg, IV started, blood drawn, ekg done, fluids started, meds given and off to CT scan. Oh, and I saw the doctor in that time who was so kind. Maybe a little VIP treatment for a coworker? I don’t know, but they will get a “shoutout” on our hospital system intranet
Last edited by job; 12/31/1802:39 PM. Reason: add link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
