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Ginger1 Offline OP
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It's definitely a lot to do. My daughter is academically inclined which I like to nurture, but can be a huge procrastinator. I cannot go back to night micromanaging, but I need to come up with some plan to keep her accountable. She may not be getting into Harvard, but if she wants to go anywhere she needs a little scholarship money, ya know?

Me time seems to be heavily sacrificed these days. I pay ALOT to go to crossfit, but I can only make it once a week. I think I might follow your lead and get atleast one 5:30 am class in per week with two 6 pm classes. As I mentioned, I've put on weight, I'm not eating too hot...... although I also did sign up for Kettlebell Kitchen which is a meal preparation service that delivers to your gym. I do 3 meals a week which I eat either for lunch or dinner.

I try to make life easier, but it isn't so cost effective all the time.

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I didn't get any scholarships for college so I ended up taking out some loans, I also worked part-time, and my parents did chip in some money. I will be in the same boat though (made worse with this stupid divorce) with not fully being able to put my D's through college so I do understand.

I like the morning workouts because it is quiet in the gym and I get it over with first thing. It does require a early bed time though and it is also not the primary time to meet hot chicks. It does fit my schedule though and the importance of going out weights meeting hot ladies which is why I stick to it.

Well G I think weight gain and a new R go hand in hand. It's hard to get to the gym when your having crazy sex. smile


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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It's funny. Both of my kids were quite accomplished academically. Both of them also were poor at getting assignments done.

I know that I could have done better on staying on top of things but even with asking them "do you have any homework" and assisting when asked a large number of assignments were also incomplete or a half-@ss job was done at the last minute.

Both of them went to University and neither did well in that unstructured environment and I think that's the key there. They need to have a structure that they take ownership of. Maybe some of the "super-dads" here can chime in on what works for them.

It is certainly tougher I would imagine as a single parent but I raised my kids in a two parent household and my daughter is a housewife (and a darned good one) and works part time at a book shop. My son is a literal ditch digger.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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My daughter is actually organized. More than me, believe or not. She is just a huge procrastinator and would rather do what she wants to do.

I worry. I know I would have never survived this divorce as a 27 year old new mother without a career of my own. I honestly don't care if her future spouse is rich, I really, really think it is important for her to be self-supporting, because I know the reality of divorce, and the reality of divorce at a young age. In NJ, there is no alimony for any marriage under 10 years. She needs to be able to stand on her own 2 feet. Whether she finds her career path through college, or a trade school or working her way up. she's got to have one. This is not me knocking on those who choose to say home, it's just that I am so close to the reality of what could happen if I wasn't working when my ex left. And I wouldn't be able to support her and her family, even though I would try like heck.

I just got a call from the eye doctor that my ex's glasses are ready. He takes our D with him and his wife because she is on their plan. But they have my number to pick up my daughter's glasses, but call me about the rest of them too. I finally said "can you please call him and let him know?'

I also made reservations at a fancy steakhouse by me for next Friday for M and I. He has never been, so I decided I would treat him. It's where all the Housewives of NJ have their parties. They also have a speak easy downstairs we can have drinks before and after dinner. I told him I made the reservations and he is very excited. It's ok to treat your man once in a while to something nice, right? he treated me last weekend, picked up the uber rides, the dinner, the before and after drinks..... I try to keep it balanced.

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I think that's awesome G......I love it when a woman treats. it tells me she is a giver and aware of the financial burden that generally in a dating R the man absorbs.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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I agree! I've always been impressed when a woman wants to pick up the tab. Wild girl actually insisted on this on our first real date. Now in this case I didn't like it as much but it made it clear right away that she was not in this for a free dinner. I remember way back to when I was 26 and was dating a 19 year old (I guess this dating younger pattern started early with me) and she bought dinner on like our third date. She may have been one of the first to do it. VERY IMPRESSED as well - so much so I remember it fondly 30 years later.

Hey Joseph your thread locked. You need to start a new one!


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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As the old fart in the room, I pretty much always expect to pay. In the dates I've had with CL she will pick up the tab from time to time and I politely look surprised and thank her. I did offer to arm-wrestle her for it the once though - she declined and paid anyway.

To me it's relatively meaningless other than the fact that I don't keep track. I do think though that looking at it from the point of view that the person who asks the other out should pay / expect to pay as they are the "host". So since you've arranged it and asked M out it's reasonable that you pay since he is your guest.

It would actually (IMO) be rude to ask someone out to a high end place and then expect them to pay.


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
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Likes: 156
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I had a nice busy weekend which didn't include work, so it was great. I hung Christmas lights Friday night, my kitchen got done, had yes another pipe leak which got fixed, go the dog groomed, D11 went ice skating with her friends, we went to Princeton for dinner and a show which was really good Satruday night with the fam. Sunday D11 and I went ot a Christmas market in town and out to breakfast, grocery shopping, then made fudge and cookies.

M and I were chatting this weekend and it does turn out he has another vacation week with his S which equals 3 weekends in a row with him and zero weekends for us. He asked me when I was free so we could spend time together. I'll see him later tonight, Friday night and sunday. It's difficult for me, because it's really me who causes the gaps in our schedule. He is available almost every weeknight after a certain time, I've got only one weeknight. It's pretty tough. I've been having to choose between friends and him too with my free time. A friend I haven't hung out in a while is free Saturday night so I chose to make plans with her. But I'll see him Friday and sunday, so that's fine.

We can't spend new years eve together which stinks. We are planning a small weekend getway in jan/feb to Vermont. The future looks bright, but yes, I am getting a little anxious to when we might ease into some friends/family stuff. I think it's going that way, I just don't know when.

I decided to intermittent fast this week because I want to look good Friday. Seriously though, my body needs a detox and a kickstart. Got to get my health back on track. I feel gross.

Still chugging along, doing the best I can.

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So glad everything is on the up for you.

I know how when you like some one you just want to spend lots of time with them. Establish bonds. Get to know them. But it wont always be like this. Once you get to the point that the kids meet, it will get easier and you guys will be able to see each other more. Just enjoy the romance for now. Its nice to have that escape in the beginning. The rest will fall into place.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
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Thanks Juju. It is kind of difficult wanting to be together more often, but we simply can't right now. We enjoy the romance, the "us" time right now, and you are absolutely right, when the time comes, it will come, and I am not going to rush it.

Although we did have a late date last night. Especially for a Monday night, but that is when we got to see each other. Saturday he had mentioned that his family comes over to his house for Christmas eve. Last night he asked me how late I was working Christmas eve and I said I do my second job until 7. He then told me to come over when I get off of work and meet his family. His son won't be there, but his mom, his brother, his wife, and other relatives will be. I have been waiting for this to happen and now I am scared!! I need to impress! I need to find a proper gift to bring and the such. This is a big step in my book. This is real.

I stayed at his place last night. When we were cuddling he said "how did I get so lucky?" I almost cried. Guys have fed me lines before, but he is definitely sincere. I think that's another way he is different from the others. He is very sincere and genuine and when he says something, he means it.

This is what love feels like. I've never really known it. My ex, that wasn't love. It was the most conditional love if it was. ExNG, that wasn't love either. It was a selfish love on his part. FF, more of an infatuation.

M is very very different the feeling. He is a different person than all the others.

Ok, I am getting too mushy here.

My beanie is getting his beans removed today. My poor baby. But he needs to chill out with the hormones a little, lol.

And yesterday I get back to crossfit and my 6pm peeps were taking the 5PM class! I actually took the 6pm class solo with a new instructor who happens to be an ex marine and have 0.1% body fat. I had to show up, lol. I am extra sore from ALL my exercise.

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