Well G the coach always says its the woman's job to bring up the R talk and say the "I love you" first. As it is in their nature to want to bond, connect, etc.
I am not saying you should or you shouldn't but if you want to put a label on you guys you might want to have that conversation first before you bring up or say the other.
The man's job is to hang out, hook up and have fun. Along with creating the next fun filled romantic opportunity for sex to happen.
Who is this coach? I need to meet him and kick him in the n@ts and let him know he knows nothing about women!
I would never ever say I love you first. Maybe bring up an R talk. Maybe. I don't really need a label, we established we are exclusively dating eachother. I just get scared to say it out loud. Superstitious I guess.
LOL....according to the coach if men bring up the R talk, try to pin a woman down in a R too soon, etc. it puts them in their feminine and that is not an attractive quality. Men should be about drive, purpose, breaking through barriers, achieving.....not bonding and connecting, bringing up R talks, blowing up their phone, always wanting to talk, etc.
Do you think John Wayne snuggled on the couch and watched Netflix??? Heck no......he was being the duke!
I see the R talk coming from you very soon.....................then shortly after you will say those magic words!!
It's in your nature...you can't help yourself. Sounds like M is just doing his thing and creating the next fun filled, romantic opportunity for sex to happen.
LOL....according to the coach if men bring up the R talk, try to pin a woman down in a R too soon, etc. it puts them in their feminine and that is not an attractive quality. Men should be about drive, purpose, breaking through barriers, achieving.....not bonding and connecting, bringing up R talks, blowing up their phone, always wanting to talk, etc.
Do you think John Wayne snuggled on the couch and watched Netflix??? Heck no......he was being the duke!
I see the R talk coming from you very soon.....................then shortly after you will say those magic words!!
It's in your nature...you can't help yourself. Sounds like M is just doing his thing and creating the next fun filled, romantic opportunity for sex to happen.
OH MY GOD! This coach is nuts!
Guess what?! Us women like men who can handle emotionally bonding conversations.
it's called BALANCE! Just like us women should take the reigns every now and then, make a date, pay, give a spontaneous BJ..... men should be able to still be their manly selves with an emotional sensitive quality for the right circumstances.
And I will tell you..... him coming back over after a day's of work to snuggle on the couch with me watching netflix certainly ended well for him (and for sure, me).
I think we both enjoy our fun-filled romantic opportunities that lead to the most incredible sex ever, but I legit think he enjoys me as a person and isn't all about just the fun and the sex.
He probably won't bring up an R talk, I'll have to do it. Maybe I'll get the balls to do it, maybe I won't.
But this coach....... I don't know if it is in your interpretation or this is what he is actually saying, but WRONG!!!
Well G the coach always says its the woman's job to bring up the R talk and say the "I love you" first. As it is in their nature to want to bond, connect, etc.
WTH? No, I DON'T think the woman should say I love you first. Hold it in, girl. Let home come to you. No, it's not easy for some guys to say but this guy doesn't seem to be a Love Avoidant, he'll come to it in his own time and you prematurely pushing the issue by saying it first robs him of that. Just sit back and enjoy.
Also - girl, you're focused again on whether HE will like YOU as much as you like him. How about focusing on WHETHER he is actually good enough for you. This is still early, you should still be checking his closets for skeletons.
Example: I've been seeing CMM now for 6 months. And although things overall are good, I;m still finding out new things about him, some of which are not ideal and are different from my initial impression of him.
For instance, on one of our early dates I was impressed with his chivalry when he hopped off a tram to help a woman up. Yet this weekend, shopping in a home store, he got all cranky with a woman who was trying to get through the aisle (two carts would not fit so he would have to go to the end of the (short) aisle to let her through. We were taking a while to decide and it was no big deal to move out of the way to let her through. Maybe it's chemo brain, but it wasn't attractive and frankly, if he'd done that early in our dating I might not have dated him.)
My point being, you're still just seeing his best behavior - which looks pretty darn good, I'll agree - but your focus should be less on "does he like me?" and more on "am I sure I like him? Who is he REALLY?".
Who is this coach? I need to meet him and kick him in the n@ts and let him know he knows nothing about women!
It's a few minutes before 12 noon here but this was clearly my biggest laugh of the morning!!! I bust out laughing for nearly a minute. It's most interesting how several women have responded to this coach guy and how several guys seem to worship at his alter (no religious offense meant). Perhaps most of all, I tend to agree with the women / hmmmmmmmm.
I really think the coach helps get the women who are fun to play with - not the ones you take home to meet the family
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
And I also very much agree with KML - yeah, shocker I know. I tried to get you to flush out some of these feelings last week but all I pretty much got was "he's different". I didn't hear why he's different, etc. I was going to respond, perhaps I should have, so I will now... But my thought was, it's still early infatuation - its invious - and that's fine, it's normal, just don't make it more yet. You've not even had a disagreement, you may not have even seen a down side of him yet. Well there has to be. I'm sure there is!!! That's not negative, it's just life. It's the very early honeymoon stage where everything is wonderful. It's not full real life yet.
Don't revert back to your old behavior Ginger. It's only been like three months. He's taking it steady. You should too. I don't see anything good coming from this love talk - unless it works out and he reciprocates. Otherwise it's all about comforting you. It's like getting that text. Then you exhale, breathe and say, Ahhhhh, okay, he still likes me. It's about reassuring you and lowering your anxiety level. Otherwise, he's fun, nice, treats you very well, follows through, has done NOTHING that you have questioned or been upset with (little red flag there) but all in all, it's good. Just enjoy it. You are in a head space of being with him coming up on a year where the actual space is only three or soon to be four months. That's still very new.
Now the downside of testing the love waters thus soon is great. It could well scare him, push him back. Again, I can tell you it has happened to me several times in my life. Of course you'll say oh but he is not you - thing is the women who I'm thinking if very much would have talked about me like you do of him. They later asked me what happened, things were going so well... Yes, they were but then they changed that. It was too much too soon. KML is right, you really don't know him very well yet. You can't - it's too soon.
Not sure if I'm getting my thoughts out well here or not but bottom line, just continue to enjoy it slow down. Have fun. Don't put a label on it. It's only been a few months. If you get to next summer and things have not progressed then for sure its time to talk. It's just nowhere to that point yet now - other than to reassure you - at least for a little while.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Look J means well he is just taking a lot of the information out of context and it is coming off wrong. Read the book. You can get the kindle edition for like $10. I guarantee it won't be a waste of your time or money.
For example he would have zero problem with snuggling on the couch watching Netflix.
He does advise to wait for the woman to say something along the lines of "where do you see this going" before bringing up the relationship talk. Now he says he typically waits for the girl to say "I love you" but it is not a golden rule. He does say you don't want to throw those three words out there unless you are sure it will be reciprocated.
Originally Posted by DonH
It's most interesting how several women have responded to this coach guy and how several guys seem to worship at his alter (no religious offense meant). Perhaps most of all, I tend to agree with the women / hmmmmmmmm.
Don, I'm gonna let that comment slide because I know you are frustrated with your love life right now.
Originally Posted by DonH
I really think the coach helps get the women who are fun to play with - not the ones you take home to meet the family
Absolutely not true! It helps with all types of relationships including long lasting loving fulfilling relationships.
