Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I can't believe my 2 days off are already gone and I am sitting back here at work. Thank you Focus, for your words of encouragement. I just left on Tuesday and didn't finish everything. I am doing 2 people's jobs and they are going to get what they are going to get out of me. I came in extra early today and I am leaving by 3, and i just don't care!
Thanksgiving was nice. The night before, we went to a hockey game, and it was pretty cool this year, because D11 was actually into it, asking questions and I enjoying it. Thanksgiving was also just the 4 of us, but it was nice. Dinner came out good. Sometimes I do get sad we have no family. I get a little jealous when I see this big thanksgivings with all of this family. But I ma grateful to have my beautiful little family. I took D11 to Walmart (yes, on thanksgiving at 11am) to get a new Christmas tree because she wanted to decorate with them.
M sent me a picture of his mom and aunt making pierogies. I asked him if he could kindly steal me a few. He told me "For future use, if you tell my mom you like something she makes, you will end up getting random little surprises from her, she's a machine in the kitchen" I thought it was a positive comment, as in, maybe one day, I will officially meet this mom (I did meet her very briefly when she came home from work the first time I spent the night, which was a bit awkward). We are moving slowly and steady, no introductions to anyone yet, but I hope at least friends sometimes soon. I can't wait to see him tonight.
Another day I need to get through. I also found out the earliest my counterpart is coming back is Tuesday. I am praying OMS clears her, because I can't do this anymore!
I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and some of you have the whole weekend off!
I am so sorry that you are back at work today. Hopefully it will be a quiet one since a lot of people out there doing the Black Friday shopping.
I am glad you had a nice Thanksgiving. It's nice when you can get together with family and share a meal and just enjoy the day w/each other. It doesn't matter if the family is large or small...it's the time you spend w/each other.
I'm sure your D is excited to decorate this year, especially in a new home. There will be many "firsts" this year and you both will enjoy the time making those new memories.
As for M, enjoy the time you spend w/him. He sounds like a genuine keeper.
You are only one person. Do your work and if you have a spare moment or two, then work on something that isn't yours. Your work comes first...unless there is an emergency.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Last night M came over and we hung out at my house and got some take out Chinese and just chilled. It was exactly what I needed. He was referenceing me in a conversation he was having and he starts saying my “my girlfriend” but he only said “my girl”, you can tell he cut himself off. Not so much because he has anything against it, but I think he was worried what I was going to think. I wanted to say something, but I didn’t. Maybe we should talk abut this stuff now? I don’t know. TMI, we had the best sex ever! Just when I think it can’t get better, it does. Talented man, for sure, but the emotional connection. Woah. We were laying in bed this morning snuggling and he had to go because he had to take hisbsybthroid before he went to pick up his son. He told me “I always mean to bring it, along with my tooth brush, but I just get so excited to see you, I run out the door” then he said he should really keep some here so he doesn’t have to run out on me. I told him I have more than enough room in my medicine cabinet. He said the two weeks was too long without seeing each other and hopes we don’t have to do that again.
Part of me feels like we should be having some sort of “talk” but do we really need to? I refer to him as my boyfriend to ofhers because “the guy I am seeing” sounds dumb. We are definitely seeing each other exclusively. Everything feels so right and wonderful. I told him this morning in bed I was so stressed and the stress literally melted from my body with him. It’s true. I feel so much better.
This is all new territory. I am a 38 year old divorce with a child and I feel like I am dating someone foe the first time
Part of me feels like we should be having some sort of “talk” but do we really need to? I refer to him as my boyfriend to ofhers because “the guy I am seeing” sounds dumb.
So very happy for you G. You and I both know that nothing in this world is guaranteed and that labels sometimes cause more problems than they help.
My own opinion - for the little it's worth given my very limited experience with this - is that no "talk" is really required until some sort of situation where you would be dependent upon each other, for example in a cohabitation situation - comes up.
Even though I am a guy (just checked :P ) I can see how some could well get skittish about getting a "talk" and being "bound" to someone. I know that even in my own case I refer to the nice lady I see from time to time as "my friend (insert name here)". Would I like to be able to refer to her as my "lady-friend"? (I'm not keen on "girl" - I feel I'm a bit too old for that and it's not quite respectful enough - yes - I have weird hang-ups) - Sure. In time. When I know that she is committed to a relationship of some sort which is very much not the case at present.
But far too much about me. Apply the label to him that you feel comfortable with. He'll undoubtedly apply the label to you that he feels comfortable with in time. It sounds like he's getting close. But it needs to be his label and not one that you tell him to use.
It will come. You'll be fine.
((Ginger1))
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I think that is very good advice. I am going to apply the label I feel comfortable with when mentioning him. I think he does the same.
Everything he does shows me how he feels about me. His actions are more than I ever had with any other man. He consistently shows me he cares for me and I’m the only one and that this is indeed going somewhere. Which I still can’t believe yet.
Now, what the heck do we do about Christmas presents?!?
There's the old joke about "how to please a man" - Show up naked and bring beer
To add unnecessary pressure on you I've read that gift giving is often a good indicator of the type of person the giver is. Personally I'm a big believer in thoughtful gifts that have a lot of meaning. For D26 who lives far away I'm giving her a piece of original art by a local painter of the village pub, doing up a gift basket with local wines, cider and preserves. My son in law is getting a bow tie that relates to his profession if it ever shows up in the mail.
If things had progressed farther with the lady I've gone on a few dates with, I had been planning on getting her a mother/daughter spa day but we're nowhere near that.
I think that the gift should reflect both the giver and the person receiving it.
I personally - from what you've written here, think that you probably should plan on getting him a gift of some sort. Nothing huge because that creates pressure to reciprocate in case he chooses not to / doesn't think of it. Men can be pretty dense.
From what you've said, he's thoughtful and likes to do things for you. Something that says "Thank you" is perhaps a good choice. A tin of home-made cookies would undoubtedly be well received. Or there's the fall-back to a 6-pack of Bud Lite
Oh - and my ex was a pretty crappy gift giver
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
9 out of 10 of our dates involve me naked and beer, so it wouldn’t be so it wouldn’t be so special, lol.
D11 and I make fudge this this of the year and he loves chocolate and PB so I totally going to make that.
He loves to snowboard. So I was thinking of kind of a joint gift...... it’s risky. We have a ski/spa resort about an hour away . I was thinking I could book a night where I do the spa, he snowboards, and we come together for a romantic dinner and some hot tub time .
Might be a little too much at this point, I don’t know.
The holidays seem to come at a weird point in our R. I don’t want to outdo or underdo.
Oh, and My ex was actually the best gift giver. But his gift giving was never about me. It was about him looking good.
Except that time he bought me a fake coach bag and played it off like it was real, until it broke, I brought it to the coach store and was humiliated. That Christmas I got 2 real coach bags.....
Frankly at this point in the relationship I'd recommend actually discussing it. Something like "hey, I'd like to exchange Xmas gifts but is there a dollar limit you'd like to set?"
Or maybe just "how would you like to handle Xmas presents this year?"
Also consider figuring out his Love Languages as they relate to gifts. My ex's LLs were gifts and quality time. He didn't want some hand made gift I slaved over - he wanted that titanium ice ax he circled in the catalogue. Me being a Words of Affirmation person love the painting my son made for me and the bracelet inscribed with a term of endearment my ex once gave me. Fancy or expensive is meaningless to me.
If you liked those Coach bags you might be a gifts person like my ex, in which case you're likely to be disappointed unless you tell BF what you want.
