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DonH Offline OP
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I agree with most everything you said and now explained. I guess I don't see what you are talking about as "deal breakers" and that's why I was confused. I see them more as my traits.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
I don't mean this insultingly, but I think you might make too many assumptions and too many things turn you off before you even get to know them, but those things are typical of women.


It's funny that you say that because it's something I've admitted before - maybe not here but in RL. Wild Girl and I even talked about how she has some male traits and I have some female. I'm very much a thinker. I very much read situations - and am usually correct. The thing is I often jump to early conclusions and like everyone, I'm not always right - just more often than not. That's something one of my best friends has said about me forever - how I often jump to an immediate conclusion but then end up being correct. So it's hard not to, even though I know I should not.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
Even when you comment on something I might have said that eludes to a guy that I care for him or temp check where we are, to you that is SOOOO unattractive. It's kind of normal as long as it's not excessive, it's the right timing, etc.


I again very much agree - especially with the timing. My fear for you is you do it far too soon. I think it's rather normal at about the 6 months mark - you are more towards the 6 week mark. I don't think either of us is right or wrong, but for me, a couple months in is too soon for that type of thing.

Originally Posted by Ginger1
But you should be true to yourself. If you are very very particular about what you want and how you want it, just be aware, your chances of finding exactly that are slim. Something has to give somewhere. Alls I am saying is don't be surprised it is so hard. It doesn't mean everyone is a misfit because they don't check your boxes, you just have very very particular taste, and that kind of comes with the territory.


I again so much agree, and the bottom line of it all is really sad - and I'm not surprised it's been this hard. It's not like I try to be particular - I just am. It's how I'm built, how I'm wired - in ALL PHASES of my life. I'm this same way when it comes to music, to EMS or marketing or management or anything I do in my life. I strive for the very highest, very best in all that I do and do not settle for less. I've felt my chances are slim all along and yep here I am about 10 years later with really no significant (more than 6 months) Rs to show for it. And that is really starting to get to me. I can't get those years back. I think of how much fun I had this summer and am sad that I didn't have as much fun in 2017, 2016, 2015, etc. I feel like I've got my life sooooooo together in every other way. I'm in great health, financially set for life, huge life accomplishments. No drama, no skeletons that I've not dealt with. Can come and go as I please. Great step-kids that I'm very proud of, same with my nieces and family. On and on - yet here I am by myself most of the time. In some ways I feel like I've got to go back to just resigning myself to this is how it is going to be. I'm still much happier this way than I'd be with someone I don't want to be with. But I know I'm still missing out - especially when it comes to things like, yes I'm going to say it again, the cruise. LOL. A little less than two months and you guys won't have to hear me obsess about it anymore - unless of course, the promoters are thrilled with how it goes and want us to repeat again in January, 2020 - yeah, it could very well happen! LOL But my point is, things like that, at least for me, are soooooo much more fun with a partner.

At least I'm more aware so hopefully I can start to alter course. However, in many ways I feel like it's almost uncontrollable. It's not like I look to find these things or try to be turned off by them - it just happens. In fact, it sort of did yet again yesterday. I'll tell that story along with some other thoughts and observations of OLD in another post. But the feeling just comes over me. I don't know if it's related to my exW. I think it might be - at least in part. Whatever it is, it just happens and I turn off.

I'm just in a funk here. Even doing nearly a week full of GAL activities last week - pretty much every day/night, I'm still just not in a good place and I don't at all like it - not one bit!


DonH
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Don - I think you're actually realizing that you may be lonely for companionship. And maybe that doesn't have to look like marriage and commitment but that one regular woman in your life would be nice. Seems to me it shouldn't actually be that hard to find someone like-minded, but it definitely does take a lot of energy to date and sift through bunches of people to find compatible ones. Regular sex is definitely a great benefit of being in a relationship of some sort.

And you're right - it's easy to let a lot of time slip by post-divorce and then realize that time would have been better spent with a companion. It's just sometimes hard to gear up for the difficult work of dating.

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Totally agree with kml. I think you are beginning to realize that while you say you want one thing, you may actually want more than that. One thing stands out to me about your posts. You continually mention that there just aren't quality single people and that the quality people are married or in long-term relationships. I know I have disagreed with you on that to a certain extent more than once, as do some others. I mean, yes, there is a lack of quality people once you get to a certain age (and yes, I am in that age group too), but I don't think lack = complete absence. But, something hit me last night as I was reading through some of the recent posts and I ask this with all due respect, as it will come across as harsh and I certainly don't mean for it to. But, if you believe that all quality people are coupled up, why are YOU single? I ask this more as a point of giving you something to think about than trying to slam you, because I wonder if you have given thought to that. You have listed your own positive attributes, which are great, and you have listed some deal breakers. Others on here have pointed out even more deal breakers that you may or may not think of as deal breakers and yet you remain single. Could it be that some of those quality folks that are out there and NOT coupled are also single for reasons that might be in line with your reasons? Maybe it isn't so much a lack of quality people as it is a bunch of people who refuse to settle.


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Totally agree with kml. I think you are beginning to realize that while you say you want one thing, you may actually want more than that. One thing stands out to me about your posts. You continually mention that there just aren't quality single people and that the quality people are married or in long-term relationships. I know I have disagreed with you on that to a certain extent more than once, as do some others. I mean, yes, there is a lack of quality people once you get to a certain age (and yes, I am in that age group too), but I don't think lack = complete absence. But, something hit me last night as I was reading through some of the recent posts and I ask this with all due respect, as it will come across as harsh and I certainly don't mean for it to. But, if you believe that all quality people are coupled up, why are YOU single? I ask this more as a point of giving you something to think about than trying to slam you, because I wonder if you have given thought to that. You have listed your own positive attributes, which are great, and you have listed some deal breakers. Others on here have pointed out even more deal breakers that you may or may not think of as deal breakers and yet you remain single. Could it be that some of those quality folks that are out there and NOT coupled are also single for reasons that might be in line with your reasons? Maybe it isn't so much a lack of quality people as it is a bunch of people who refuse to settle. Just food for thought..................................


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Originally Posted by kml
Don - I think you're actually realizing that you may be lonely for companionship. And maybe that doesn't have to look like marriage and commitment but that one regular woman in your life would be nice.


Very on target yet again KML, as you often have been with me. Clearly, whatever I had with Wild Girl this summer has me wanting more (of the good parts) on a regular basis. This happened to me in somewhat the same way 21 or 22 years ago. It was not too long after that I met my now Ex W.

Originally Posted by kml
Seems to me it shouldn't actually be that hard to find someone like-minded, but it definitely does take a lot of energy to date and sift through bunches of people to find compatible ones.


No, you might not think so but clearly it has been - at least for me - as evidenced by if nothing else my lack of results. I've not done a great job of dating but it's not like I've not tried either. Like I've said before, I've gone out with about 25 women in the last 7 or 8 years. No, that may not be a huge number but I know I've asked out at least twice that amount if not three times?. So it's not like I'm not trying. For me it really seems to clearly have been, as I keep saying over and over, I'm picky, I don't connect with all that many and then when I do, they don't always connect with me. In another post you talked about dating up. Yes, that's clearly me. I mostly date up - at least looks wise. I don't want to sound too egotistically but it's harder for me to date up on the other things - but there too I am picky. Of those I have dated, the far majority are rather good looking. My ex W was beautiful - but also smart, fun, and all sorts of other good things. It was the bad things I didn't spot soon enough. If I know the person first, looks are not as big of a deal and I have dated some pretty average looking women who became more beautiful to me over time. So it really is not all looks for me but especially OLD - what else do I have to go on? And if I can't get a romantic feeling while with them, what's the point - there has to be attraction.

If there is any saving grace to this, it's that I've not ended Rs or broken up with anyone that I now regret or who could have been what I'm looking for. By that I mean, I never ended it with anyone who wanted to get too serious and I bailed. That never happened - perhaps because it's never gotten to that point. So at least I don't have regrets about that. I could perhaps regret not trying harder. Mostly I regret life just not being nice to me and putting someone in my path.

I've got to get that post up about my latest OLD revelations - and some more intel/info on online girl.

Originally Posted by Dawn70
You continually mention that there just aren't quality single people and that the quality people are married or in long-term relationships. I know I have disagreed with you on that to a certain extent more than once, as do some others.

But, if you believe that all quality people are coupled up, why are YOU single?


Good point - and one that I've thought about. I'll take one more stab at all of this. I swear that what I'm trying to convey, I'm simply not. That could well be because I'm not communicating well - although I also have to wonder if readers don't see me say "all the good ones are taken" think, "screw him, I'm a good one and I'm not taken, so he's wrong!" Or some form of that, and never get beyond that speed bump to see my larger point.

First and foremost, I'm not speaking in absolutes - and rarely if ever do. Not EVERYONE who would be a quality match for me is taken. I'm POSITIVE there are some who are very single. However, many are not - perhaps many more than in my earlier life. Let me try it this way, and I'm using hypothetical, ballpark statistics here - not real stats that I can stand behind. But, let's say that when I was in my 20s 75% of the single people were of a caliber that I could see myself with. Most were never married and just getting into adulthood. Whatever the reason, it at least more felt that way and I went at it that way. Sure, I've matured, I've got baggage, they have baggage, I've been hurt, things change, but it's almost as now it's flipped and 25% of the available ones are of that quality and 75% are not. Can we just agree on that? I'm happy to put you and KML and Ginger, Juju, all of you in that 25% category. Still, 3 out of 4 are not. That's all I'm saying. or desperately trying to say. I just heard the line in a radio ad this morning - "all the good ones are taken" so clearly I didn't come up with this theory - it's been around a long time. It's partly why I move widows to the front of the line - right or wrong.

Does that make more sense? It's likely closer to reality too and if it is, it's a huge change and much bigger challenge going from 3 out of 4 you meet or date being a potential good match to 1 out of 4. Is it just luck? I think a huge part is the people involved and what they are willing to accept. I've read here how at least a few women have been dating for several years the very first person they met from OLD. How can that be? How can THEY meet "the one" on the first try yet Ginger and I have to go through dozens and dozens? Why is that? How can this college dean I had hopes of meeting and possibly asking out be married for nearly 25 years, have her D final in Spring and already have a boyfriend??????????????????????????? How is that possible yet here I am 12 years later? And no he was not in the picture before (at least I'm told he was not) Maybe it's as simple as she and the other here that I site as an example are not looking for the next best, are able to find attraction in a wide variety so that first good one comes along and they take him - while many of these others don't know what they want, don't want anyone they find, always want the next best, find fault in everyone. Something is going on here.

Or is that me too? As for me, yeah, I don't disagree. I've said it many times, I feel like my life has pretty much been a home-run - with the major exception of my love life. I've accomplished so much. I have so many people that look up to me in what I've done in music, in EMS, etc. Yet I've always struggled with a love life - always. I do okay socially but I don't light up a room or attract a crowd when I talk. Yet if you were having a heart attack or wanted a killer production for your music, all of those people would come straight to me and get me - not nearly so much if you were looking for a boyfriend. That's how I feel anyhow - and it's happened in real life that way.

So take that together with the nature of what I don't want, am not willing to accept, not willing to tolerate, I'm probably now one of those 75% that I just talked about. So I don't disagree with you Dawn. Yet, I think if I could meet the right person, I would be a great partner. Again, I've got many of the other things solidly in place and always have. I thought I had started to get there and perhaps even I had three or four years prior to meeting my exW. I had even thought back then "Dang I wish I knew then what I know now about women and life" I could look back and see how many opportunities I had missed. I thought I had figured it out. Then bomb drop hit 13 years ago and in some ways I've felt like I am back in high school again. Then with added rejection I lose more self esteem in that area and it is what it is.

So the bottom line of what I'm trying to say, is rather than having a pool where 3 out of 4 are "good ones" like I think was the case early on and is closer to the case now with those M and in an R, I'm facing a 1 out of 4 chance. Still not terrible odds, but it's where women like the one Joseph recently found reside. And I'm only giving a slightly educated guess at those odds. It could well be closer to 1 out of 6 or 8 or even 1 out of 10.

I'll try to work on this OLD and dating thoughts post later. Again some very interesting, at least to me, insights that I've again found. Spoiler alert, after doing some sleuthing on Match where my account remains but has been hidden for years, I'm seeing some of the very same women I used to see three years ago - some of which I reached out to and never got a response - and I'm seeing them on constantly, all time of day - actually anytime I log in - there they are. It's almost become their hobby!!! Something is clearly wrong with this picture!


DonH
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I do actually understand what you are saying about the odds and maybe, for me, it is semantics and nothing more. I am not a young person any more either and dating/finding love is definitely a young person's game when it comes to the available pool that you mentioned. And, from that standpoint, I totally agree with what you say. I'm not discounting what you say based on thinking that I'm a good match so screw you, you must be wrong. I KNOW I'm a good catch for the right person, but for several on the board, likely yourself included, I would not even get the time of day because I'm NOT what you are looking for and that is perfectly fine. We all have preferences.

I think, for me, when phrase it the way you do, it sounds like you are saying that it isn't even worth worrying with because there is not one single suitable person out there for you. I really don't think that is how you mean it and now that you have explained again, I KNOW that is not how you mean it, so like I said, it is semantics. I totally agree that at our age group, the pool is MUCH smaller than it used to be. But, for someone like me, the pool was never very big to begin with. You said it yourself, you don't "light up the room"....I'm right there with you, my man. I'm that girl that all the guys love because I'm funny, I cuss, I drink beer and I don't get offended by their dirty jokes, but I can also give them sound advice about women and I have some pretty cute friends. But date ME? No thanks, Dawn is "one of the guys" because she's not pretty enough to be taken seriously as a woman. And, that's ok. Not to hi-jack your page here, but in some ways, I think you and I have some similarities. I feel like my life is a home as well, except for the whole love thing. I have a lot to offer but since the good Lord didn't see fit to wrap it all up in a pretty package, it gets overlooked. And, not that I have never had a date or whatever, because obviously I find men who are attracted to me (Sparky isn't the first or I would've never shown up on this site to start with), but I have never had a huge pool where I could just pick and choose and date up a storm. Those experiences shape who we ultimately are.

So, yeah, I appreciate your explanation and don't even necessarily disagree with it. Just really wanted to give you something to think about in general, as when you talk about the pool being smaller for you, it is also smaller for all of the single, available women in this age group.


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Originally Posted by DonH
It's partly why I move widows to the front of the line - right or wrong.
You need to go to more funerals laugh Actually I met the lady I write about at her Dad's funeral a few years ago - not what you are talking about though ...

Originally Posted by DonH
I've read here how at least a few women have been dating for several years the very first person they met from OLD. How can that be? How can THEY meet "the one" on the first try yet Ginger and I have to go through dozens and dozens?

Originally Posted by DonH
I'll try to work on this OLD and dating thoughts post later. Again some very interesting, at least to me, insights that I've again found. Spoiler alert, after doing some sleuthing on Match where my account remains but has been hidden for years, I'm seeing some of the very same women I used to see three years ago - some of which I reached out to and never got a response - and I'm seeing them on constantly, all time of day - actually anytime I log in - there they are. It's almost become their hobby!!! Something is clearly wrong with this picture!
My own profile has hidden for over a year now - mostly because I'm reluctant to put myself "out there" and I see similar things.

The first part is what they call in business "churn". Freshly single people who are wanting to be "coupled" (I think) have a fairly short shelf life especially if they are "sparkly". They get in, find someone and get out. Or get in, get horrified and get out. Most of the single women of my acquaintance do not do the on-line dating thing. Their sparkle level varies.

Are these people "settling" for the first decent match they get? No clue. I don't personally know anyone who has done the online-dating thing successfully.

Because I like bad analogies, it is indeed like a pond. When you are looking for a fish you see the sparkly ones near the surface getting snapped up quickly. There is a fair amount of catch and release with the fish getting less attractive and more wary each time and some just getting snagged on your hook as you troll. And then there's the big lunkers hiding in the weeds. That's us - invisible.

In some ways J9 has a good plan. Instead of being the fisherman, he's the fish. I'm confident myself that if I were to open up my profile, post pictures of me at the theatre, on a tropical beach, baking pies AND disclose my income that I'd probably be a sparkly fish myself.

I have noticed several of the "long-timers" delete and recreate their profiles on a regular basis. There is a bias in the algorithms I would think to encourage a rapid churn among the clientele.

Just my own thoughts - and no answers.


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All things considered I guess it was not too bad of a Thanksgiving extended weekend. It certainly can't be said that I've not been trying to GAL and doing those types of activities. Has it helped? Well, as it was happening I didn't so much think so but now today in looking back maybe it has made me feel a bit better. It certainly gave me some great people watching.

In the past 6 years on even numbered years I was out of state. Not this time so it left me the "opportunity" to do Thanksgiving with my sister-in-law's side of the family. My brother and SIL have been married for a little over 25 years. Their girls are now out of the house and off on their own and at least for now they are still holding it together - although clearly doing so by doing many things apart. I've not seen many from that side of the family in a while and not interacted in a long while. It was actually a nice time. There were about 25 people total - including those from my close family including my parents.

The people watching started as the adopted son of SIL's aunt (her mom's sister) showed up with one or two of his kids. He's around 42-45 I'm guessing. I have no idea what his ancestry is - but appears sort of middle eastern type??? I've never really known him well, just know of how people speak of him. I believe he is twice D although not positive - once for certain. He is very, very smart - book smart, but has always struggled with life. Professional student might best describe him as he has three or four degrees including two masters but has never worked in any of them and is currently managing a restaurant or brew pub or something like that. Again, nice enough guy, just very, very quiet, no social skills that I see. Anyhow, his teen aged son looked very much like him - very much has the same ethnic attributes. His "daughter" who looks a bit older on the other hand did not. She is beyond beautiful and looked to me to be very close in many ways to my niece 23 - who is also very, very smart (in school to become a dentist), very pretty, very personable - yes I think very, very highly of my niece. Anyhow, I could see this guys D - who I later found out to be 26, so 3 years old than my niece - being much like her. Turns out she too has a masters - in museum history or something like that - and is thinking of going for a second as she currently works as a waitress at a restaurant.

As the evening wore on I began to think, hmmmmmm this might not be his daughter after all. Oh wait, she's sharing a large chair with him now and he's stroking her back - OMG this is his GIRL FRIEND!!!!!!! I'm cracking up all over again just typing this story out. Now, I felt and still feel a little angst dating a 42 year old at 55. I could not imagine being 45 and dating a 26 year old. This of course brought up all sorts of question in my mind - moreso about her. I mean, stunning would not be an overstatement. Obviously has to have some brains and in the little I spoke with her seemed to. My mouth is still open. Oh and this guy, BEYOND geeky. How does a stunning, beautiful, smart, 26 year old want to date a geeky, loser type 45 year old with teenagers????????? I don't get it, I could not do it, but whatever. Clearly even THIS GUY has more game than I do. LMAO!

The last time I was with family two months ago I was somewhat grilled about Wild Girl. Clearly that is no longer even a blip on the radar and no one even mentioned it. Totally fine by me.

Friday brought what many now call a "friendsgiving" with a bunch of friends from high school. It was held at a place only 5 minutes from where I live - pretty much just about the only thing 5 minutes from where I live. There were about 20 of us although I really only knew about a half dozen of them well. Some I barely remembered their names much less recognized them - at all. There were three guys who I hung out with often in high school and then three of the girls the same - including one I 'dated' but again at 17 so.... Let's just look at those 7 of us. Of the guys, all of us have been D'd, two of them are re-married. The girls, two are D'd with only one of this group married for a single time - in fact I'm pretty certain my band played for her wedding some 30+ years ago. Good for her. The rest of us? It was somewhat interesting how four of us (two guys and two of the women) are not dating anyone seriously and have not since our D. We all agreed it was so much harder now and less fulfilling. I'm D'd the longest though with the others 1 year, 5 years and one I think 9 years now.

Saturday brought a HUGE and i mean HUGE event that I performed at. Had to be over a thousand people in this, well can't call it a tent - portable building is more like it with doors, indoor portas and the like. Was a great time and got to see many, many people. Wild Girls parents, aunt and WG were all supposed to be there but decided it was just too much of a hassle to get in with parking and really didn't want to miss the Christmas Parade in their hometown so they were a no show. No real surprise.

After we were done and everyone left I met up a block away with a friend I've had since I was 20, maybe 21? So, a long, long time. The last time I saw her was nearly a year ago although this is one of those where we pick up right where we left off. We ended up talking and catching up until past midnight. She mentioned this guy who she claims is my twin in personality. She has said this about a well known radio personality here in town (he also fills in now and then for Rush) and in this case she is very accurate and I very much agree. After hearing more about this other guy and then seeing his picture, I was like, THAT'S who you think is my TWIN?????? OMG - is that really how people see me? I so hope she's off base on that one or I don't come across even close to how I think I do. That was a gut punch.

Sunday was a down day and then the snow hit. Now living in Wisconsin I'm used to it - but this is our second snow already this year - which that is not typical and to get something of this size this soon is not at all even close to typical. The cruise is 7 weeks now from this Thursday and can't come soon enough.

What else is there, oh, college dean might not be taken after all. In fact, I wonder if Wild Girl is not screwing this up for me in that College Dean's friends are not about to set her up with a guy who is still sort of dating someone else including taking that someone on an 8 day vacation. I'm not sure about that, but with a couple of things that were said about timing and even a direct mention of Wild Girl, I'm wondering. That would be truly sad as this girl actually seems like a potential keeper. Life is all about timing, however, and there is nothing I can do about it at this point other than hope that at the end of January I figure out a way to meet her in person - and she's still available when I do.

I've not head from the online girl at all since last week Sunday. We went out for a few hours a week ago Saturday, texted a little on Sunday but that was it. I did not reach out to her and she has not reached out to me. Guess that one may be done - or will be one of those spur of the moment/last minute type of "hey how are you do you want to go to ____ with me this weekend? type of thing.

Meeting even more friends on Tuesday - this time from my fire department past. Hmmmmm, seems like lots of this is about my past, doesn't it?

Pretty vanilla update I guess. At least I'm not as much in a funk as I was. Might work on a Christmas song to put out on social media this week. I've done this before a couple of times with my good friend who died of lung CA this past January doing some nice video slide show pictures to the music. Until I get off my @ss and do my real Christmas recording, putting one of these songs out every few years is the best I've done. Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook can see the old ones and will see this new one - if I get it done that is.

Other than that, not much else. Still wishing I had June, July, August back.


DonH
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Whatever I'm doing here has clearly turned into more of a journal than anything LOL. Then again, what is there to say. It is interesting to look back - which I did - all the way back 10 plus years. For example I found that KML was here way back then when I first was going through my bomb drop and D. I didn't remember that KML until reading your posts to me and seeing we have some mutual "friends" from here including FIB - who is a surgeon in NY I still am in touch with now and then. It's like my life in words.

Anyhow, I thought I'd give a bit of an update - which really not much I guess. I've done so great on the GAL but still have been a bit in a funk - and I don't know why. I've not had much if any urge to reach out to Wild Girl or Online Girl. Of course, I'm sure all of you can guess what happens when they don't hear from me... Yep, of course, they reach out. Now with Online Girl I was actually surprised. It had been over two weeks since we last went out and I actually didn't think I'd hear from her again. I thought perhaps our paths would cross later - next summer perhaps. Then ding and here is a text "just checking in with you" she says. Hmmmm, is that a temp check, I wonder? She actually did start her new 3rd shift job. I have no idea how she is doing it and then add to it, her oldest son who was living with a GF out west broke up with her and is coming home to mom. So she will have all three kids back home, working midnight until 8 AM and trying to keep things going with the kids. When is there time to "date?". It lowers my interest level as well. We are not done with whatever it is we are doing but I don't know what the next move will be either. I'll either get contact from her or me to her or perhaps one of us will have something pop up that we know the other might enjoy and that will bring us together. Just not feeling a good LTR or even R vibe from her - not with so much going on in life.

I last talked with Wild Girl on Thanksgiving. I thought I might see her and her family the Saturday after but that did not happen. I really didn't communicate with her at all until I got a text saying her passport came. Hmmmm, well clearly she's still in for the cruise - or so I thought. So I called her last week Saturday and got VM - which I actually left a message - something I rarely do. Did not hear back, did not hear back did not hear back. HMmmmm, so in my funk, I'm again thinking, if she waited until six weeks out I'm going to be really, really p!ssed. Spoiler alert, that didn't happen. I finally could not take it any more and called her this AM. She answered right away and was very bubbly. I'm like, did you get my message? "What message?" She has never lied and I doubt this time was any different - in fact she argued with me "Don, I have no message here from you at all in fact I don't remember you even calling... um, oh, wait a second, and I hear my message being played back... Whoopsee, guess you did call."

So there you go, misunderstandings do happen and miscommunications. She gave me her passport info and sure enough the issue date was three days prior to her text - so clearly she texted as soon as it arrived. So, I've really got to stop even thinking, this is a done deal, she's going. Of course now I'm thinking, crap, 11 days and 10 nights together with the same person? But I'll obsess about that later I guess. At least what I really wanted to happen will and I'm pretty sure we'll have the same great time we've always had together (and the same great sex). After that.... who knows and I won't even guess but I'm pretty sure I'll be fine with whatever it is.

As I said on another thread, there is this dating "coach" that some here have talked about. I finally purchased his book and will give my own little review here. So far, I can't disagree with much of what he's said. He writes better than his videos but even his writing is not that great. My largest complaints are he repeats himself all the time. So much so in fact I thought for sure I had read this already - but nope it's just pretty much the same things written a little differently. Not sure why he'd do that and then on top of it rather than write out other suggestions he say's Google my video called" and wants you to leave the book to watch a video. Really? Dude I purchased the book to read it not go to your videos. Then again, what should I expect for $8 bucks - right. That's the early review. I'll give a more full recap when I get through the book. Don't hold your breath though as much of this is common sense and the same type of things others, including MWD, have said.

Lots of Christmas Parties to perform at. I did about 20 seconds of music that appeared a few weeks ago on the Country Music Awards. That was kinda cool - although I have no idea why they didn't just use stock music as they could have - but yet it was great money and I get to say I played on the CMAs - well sorta anyhow. smile Gave a 40 year old a digital coupon for a birthday drink and birthday kiss (if you're lucky) last week. She lives about 300 miles away and I won't see her until February. Her response "I can't wait - THANK YOU". So we'll see where that goes. It's more just fun and flirty than anything.

20 days until Christmas, 26 until New Years Eve and 45 until the cruise. How many days until I'm out of my funk? LOL


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Joined: Feb 2017
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L
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Originally Posted by DonH
Then ding and here is a text "just checking in with you" she says. Hmmmm, is that a temp check, I wonder?


Come on Don you would know instantly what to do if you read the book 10-15 times.

When a girl reaches out to you assume she wants to see you. Hey OL girl it was great to hear from you, I would love to see you when are you free to get together? When she gives you her availability make a date or great why don't you pick up a bottle of wine and come to my house and we'll make dinner together.

Be a man be direct and make a date.

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