Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can part2

[marina7]

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2815065&page=11

[marina7]

Journaling

Trio's and I been doing good.
Taking things a day at a time.

I must say they do keep me busy.

Well I am suppose to meet with GAL,
Also ask me was I going to call detective and
Drop case.

Ummmm Nope. I believe s9 I stand with s9.
I am with all my three kids. GAL
Mention this is going keep costing you money
I now feel like am being bully by GAL. Yes I know
This is costing but I feel as if I must drop case and everything
And not believe s9.

Gal has several times said remember kids lie.
I understand that also but s9 look in his face and
Sadness speaks for himself.

S10 yesterday was hugging him while I was in kitchen
Cooking s10 tells s9 I am sorry for not protecting you.
I literally cried. I then got myself together held all three
And reminded them it's not your fault. And this you s10
Could not have done anything. S10 feels horrible. I see
My kids breaking.

Praying is all I can do. I know God has his plan.
I am exhausted mentally and physically.

[marina7]

https://www.gofundme.com/lawyers-fee-and-custody

[marina7]

Journaling and some prayers needed,

So tomorrow W and I are meeting in GAL,

Remember after s9 horrible abuse caused by W
W now wants to do 1 week on and 1 week off

Ok I was honestly ok with this, after W claiming
W loves Trios just differently, ok whatever that means.

I never wanted to take kids away, I have accepted W and I
I just wanted the Trios together since day one I have stood
my grounds just keeping Trios together.

But now since s9, I am now simply Protecting mode
Always been very protective but now is more. I know W
Is going through her dark moment, I also know if a stranger
would have hurt any of my kids I would press charges.

I am just a mom who a momma bear.

My concern about tomorrow is
Gal is emotional involved Gal have stated
I know you and W can work things out I have hope
For this family. Gal state there's to much hurt in W
Where I once again understand but to me and what I
Have read about GAL is for kids be our kids voices
This GAL has not done that. To me GAL seem to
Be more concerned about W. Example that happened
In last GAL meeting before we went to therapy.

W, I feared for my life, I needed to find myself I lost
Myself, I was trapped, all you cared was about Kids.
You broke me M you broke me.
M I understand I am sorry you feel that way. I knew
When I became a mom it's was about them. I am
Sorry again you feel that way.

Well after that I get a call hours later from GAL
And in conversation GAL said well M you didn't say Sorry
You said "Your sorry W feels that way"
I then said Yes I am sorry W feels that way.
Gal well that wasn't an apology

Now this is where I am not sure. I did everything I been told my
Lawyers and therapists to listen and nod and if you know W
Is simply rewriting story you simply acknowledg and say I am sorry
You feel that way. Which I meant and still do. I can't control W feelings
But I am not sorry for things I never did. I won't apologize to something I
Didn't do.

So here I am asking my online family to
Please pray and give me any advice for tomorrow.

I am aware I won't sign anything because this could affect s9
Case and I believe my kids. I feel I am being forced to sign
But s9 won't be heard I want our son and all my kids to know
This mommy believes you I am standing with you three.

I will take all 2x4 and advice for tomorrow mediation.

[peacetoday]

Marina

Im so sorry- the best advice I have is to trust yourself-
I think You have handled a very tough situation well, and you will continue to sort through this mess until you hit the other side
and you will....

If you think the person (Gal) is more focused toward W needs..
She may be,,

I know I had a friend who had a terrible D and her XH had a lot of money..
I don't think her case was MLC, more just a XH who became addicted to prescriptions
anyway she was always so baffled because the mediator always seemed on his side, and she was the honest one and a wonderful parent and person-
he was a real manipulator/con guy



I will prayer for you and I know you will handle it well
Take good care of you tonight
lots of rest and prayer-
wishing you all the best tomorrow

[OneArt]

I'm sorry this is so difficult. Good luck tomorrow.

[job]

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts in prayers.

[Kyh]

Catching up this morning and wanted to wish you good luck today. I will be thinking of you and the trio. Don’t let your feathers get ruffled and stay positive.

[marina7]

Thank you

Peacetoday, kyh,job,OneArt And everyone that following along,

Well today once again still not 100%on board besides the
1 week on and off. W finds reason to when and where.

Example was W now wants kids to go to
Therapist W recommends. Where W lives

So as we know I am financially stuck I can't move I can't
For now. Unfortunately where I live is 50/50 state and they
go by better school district. I live where is considered not
A good distract to where W lives better school district. Even though
S9 and d10 are straight A students what they look at is school numbers.
So kids will go to W school district, and on my week I pick up and drop off
I can't move at the moment so for the time I'll have to get them there.

So of course I do understand but once again this is W 2nd move since bd
I am all about stability s9 and d10 been in same school. So this mean
S9 and d10 who are doing great would be interrupted from their school also
This is d10 last year d10 be in middle school. I know this will affect them. But
On top of that W wants them to go to therapy where W lives.

Is like wow.. and W then when on and said I feared for my life.
I am going to Marry OW. This is like the 5th time W has stated to me.

I replied W good for you. But again your focus is about you and OW
When is about the kids.
W well am getting married then what you going to do
M W I am happy for you that you found your happiness,
I am truly happy for you. But again W first fix your relationship with
S9 and kids. My focus is about Trios
W well again what you going do OW lives there, her house
Her rules
M again our Kids not hers. I ask that when you have an issue
With any child OW doesn't get to jump in the wagon screaming at my kids
W quiet, silent

Gal M brings a good point I heard you say We as you and OW
There's no We when is you W and OW is between W and M
W quiet

I finally had enough. And GAL could tell also GAL ask you
Called CPS Why I replied I believe s9 and all three this is not
W 1st or 2nd is her 3rd. Of physical not including mental
I am not sorry for standing up for our kids.

So finally time up and still nothing.
W thinks this is a joke and her week means I disappear
W doesn't seem to understand that I am not going anywhere I am
Part of all 3 life. As GAL look at her. W you know it's about kids you
Seem to put OW and yourself first.

Finally GAL seeing it.

GAL finally said Thank you for speaking up
I said am simply tired of all this but I also will move earth for my kids.

W looked like a wreck, like a person who has a hangover.
Swollen and pale. Also sniffing her nose alot. Last time I honestly thought
It was a cold but now I am wondering. Sometimes W seem space out like gone.
I try not to judge or look but breaks my heart.

W blamed alot Me and Kids. And of course W claiming Now
I abuse kids I did laugh that one. I said Ok W sorry you feel
That way. GAL said oh wow that's a new one W. What do you mean.
M punish them in their beds for days. I had to laugh so hard. Like at all
But GAL said I thought you said M is a push over kids get away with
Anything but now you changing your story. I said this is what I deal with

I know W can push my buttons but when I caught myself I said enough
This is about kids. I have no time for kid games this is W. He said and she said
Am to old for this. Gal nodded and agreed today W was in some type of drug
I am now forsure is something. Is crazy but I no something is not write.

Now back to 20th the coparent therapy I honestly don't see this going anywhere.
Not sure how 50/50 state do when simply Two parents can't agree.

Again we trying to do mediation W now wants us to get passport to go to
Bahamas yelp Bahamas I said what for now Nope. Let's do o e step first.

[marina7]

So much happened and W everywhere
It was hard catching up to W. Crazy MLC.

When I think of more I'll write. It was so much
My brain hurts.