waw maybe #4

[neffer]

Glad to read you are where you are BH. Congrats to the kids achievements. Be proud of them man. You are walking with your head up. Good!

[bhappy2]

Thank you Maika and Neffer.

Updating:

So tired, work is really busy and I do not have a day off, but its all good I will be off 4 days for Thanksgiving. I am just getting ready to hit the gym and i thought I would journal.

D24 and i have been texting back and forth about finances and saving. She was asking about Dave Ramsey. I really like discussing things with her so I said you do realize DR is a minimalist. I said you already are, you are the most frugle in the family. She agreed and we talked about opening up a mutual fund and IRA for her. I explained that you can really grow financially if you go slow and steady. When she comes for Thanksgiving we will talk about opening a brokerage account.

S21 made his first arrest last night and he has not come home, he has been at work for over 24 hours. He texted to say everything was ok and we will talk when he gets here. I made dinner for him, grilled chicken, broccoli, and sweet potatoes. He is going to be exhausted.

S23 just got home from Las Vegas, he doesnt gamble but has friends there and they went to several concerts. He has firmly commited to going back to college and furthering his education. This makes me so proud.

D19 Is starting to accept the fact that W and I will be D'ing and has built up resentment for W. I uderstand and I just validate her feeling and let her know I am here for her. She said Saturday night was a blast as they had a Halloween party at college. She really cant wait to come home for Thanksgiving.

GAL has slowed a bit but will get going again in about 2 weeks. I am just too busy with work, its a good thing. I have started as I stated previously to clean every room in this house. It was really far gone and needs a lot of TLC. I need to rake these leaves soon so I am hoping tomorrow.

I have more and more interest from several single ladies, I am clearly not ready for anything serious. I do have to question why so many people have to jump right into a commited relationship. I went on a few dates and sometimes I believe the date wants more. They will push right away for a second date, and then text non stop, it really is a turn off.

[neffer]

You are moving forward BH. Just keep doing that.

[bhappy2]

Great week ahead.

Currently ran 15.5 miles this week and I am dressing and ready to go out again today. Feeling good.

Spoke to all four children about Thanksgiving and suggested that if they are invited to inlaws (we have gone there for the last 27 years) that they should go. I told them that I will be cooking and if they want to eat here they can but the choice is theirs and there will be no pressure for whatever they choose. D24 said that she is going to eat dinner there and then come home and spend the rest of the day here. D19 is doing the same. S23 and S21 will not be going as of right now, they said they would just want to stay here. I asked them to please consider all their cousins and aunts and uncles. They said they will think about it.

Very busy at work, really doing well. Crazy amount of paperwork but in the long run its well worth it.

I have not drank alcohol in over two weeks, no parties, just focused on myself. Working and working out. Cleaning the house has been really rewarding. Just throwing out stuff that we really didnt need, bags of clothes going to good will.

Absolutely NC with W. She and her L have again not responded to anything we requested and my L is completely pissed off. We could have had this whole thing done right now. I really for the life of me do not get this, you want D so bad! then drag it out as long as you can. I do not want to be in Newcomers anymore.

If your sitch is new please understand that you can and will find happiness, its a process that you can control. You do not need your S, let her go!!

[harvey]

If your sitch is new please understand that you can and will find happiness, its a process that you can control. You do not need your S, let her go!!

Amen, brother!

[bhappy2]

Journaling:

So as I have previously wrote I have been trying to really clean this house from top to bottom, my S21 comes to me on Wednesday and says Dad I want you to take this $200.00 and hire a cleaning company to clean this house. I was in complete shock! What a kid, he says you are working way too much and let the cleaning company do the work for me. This brought a tear to my eye, this kid has such a heart.

D19 has been texting that she does not know if she is spending Thanksgiving with her mom. I explained that I cannot answer for anyone but me and I am cooking dinner for whoever is here, and also we will have food for the week. We have spent every Thanksgiving with my inlaws since we have been married. D19 said she doesnt know what to do, I said text mom and ask her, she said she did and is not getting a response. I said I am sorry but I am not able to help with this situation. Its now Nov. 9th and these children do not know where they will be spending Thanksgiving.

SIL61 (W's sister) called me to ask about Thanksgiving, I explained that I will not be there. She said this is going to be weird as we were very close with her and her H. She asked if she could stop over my house the night of Thanksgiving to say hello. I said sure no prob, she wants to see all the kids plus I am having some friends over for late night drinks. For anyone who believes this is a bad move just remember I do not care what W thinks anymore if her sister wants to come by and say hello I do not have a problem with that.

S21 asked if mom invited you to Thanksgiving dinner would you go? I said that would be something for me to think about but prob not. He said the reason he asked was that him and S23 will not be going without me there. I said that was a bad move on their part and they should go and see that side of the family. MIL is 82 and not sure how much longer she will be here. He said that he still has not talked to his mom since his graduation and he doesnt even know if she wants them there. ugh..............

D24 is coming home next Friday for 9 days, she already ordered all kinds of food for us and she wants to drink some beers. I said no prob, lets have a blast! No one can beat me in beer pong.

S23 started new job and is all signed up for college beginning in January. He wants to be an accountant-actuary. He has a friend who wants to hire him.

GAL is slowed a bit, except for working out and especially running. The running is what really helps with any anxiety or stress. It feels so good when I am done, I also have been sitting in a sauna which has such great health benefits.

I am still in Newcomers bc I am still not D'ed. At this point it looks like its going to be a while. W has been told that currently she owes me for 3 months child support. All of a sudden things got quiet again, no response from her L. Funny how that works.

[bhappy2]

Updating:

D24 is home for nine days visiting, she is very happy to see everyone. D19 comes home on Tuesday for five days. We will all be together except for their mom. As much as I love D24 being here I have to say something, I really find it odd that there are times I wish she would go out, I have gotten used to my privacy. This is not to say I dont want to see her its just I really liked when the house was empty.

Things are going pretty good, and we have settled into a new normal. I have made some new rules in the house that my adult children are getting used to, but its now my way or they can leave. This is a 180 for me. I do not want a sink full of silverware anymore, its dishwasher or wash it by hand. They are getting used to it.

Very busy with work, somewhat stressful but its all good in the end. I just hired D19 to sort through all my ppw and when she comes home for winter break she is going to sit down with my account to enter all my documents for the business on Quick Books.

I am going out tonight to play cards with a bunch of HS friends, we used to do this more often and I believe it will be happening again. No one loses a lot of money and we just make so as we are just getting together.

Bad week of running,next week I will run the first three days of the week then have at it on Thanksgiving. Hey you have to live a little too. My children want me to have dinner ready at 7pm which I found to be an odd time. Does anyone else eat at that time? I asked them all what their plans are and they just keep saying they dont know. At the moment I believe the inlaws are not having Thanksgiving this year.

So if you are reading this, and you are new here just remember there will come a time when you will not want your W back, I guarantee it. You will find someone who loves you for you, now when that happens DONT MESS IT UP! Take it slow and let the relationship blossom.

Have a happy Thanksgiving!!

[bhappy2]

Updating:

D24 is home and its been a lot of fun. D24 has borrowed W's car and I thought when I pulled up W was here so it was kind of funny.

Inlaws are having Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant and my children will attend. I think S23 may not go but everyone else is going. S22 wants me to prepare dinner for 7pm here at home and I originally didnt understand why he wanted such a late dinner but it makes sense now. I just told the kids that I will cook a full Thanksgiving dinner and it will be here for whenever they want to eat, but I am not preparing a formal sit down dinner at 7. Its to late for me, I want to eat around 4 when I am done cooking. I also want to watch some football, drink a few beers and a few friends are going to stop in for a beer while I am home cooking.

So, W dropped of dog food for our dog when she brought car for D24. I dont really understand but she wanted to do it to maybe look good for the kids. I really am beyond trying to understand her. She aslo brought fudge over and specifically said this is for dad. Ok, I really do not care about the fudge you brought over so I didnt bother to text or call to thank her.
At this point I dont need any help with anything, I really just want her out of my life completely. NC is absolutely the best!!

I have a lunch date for Friday the day after Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to it, this woman has liked me for a long time and I told her that we will have to go really slow. I dont want anything serious just yet.

Have a great Thanksgiving, enjoy the people who want to be with you.

[bhappy2]

Updating:

Great Thanksgiving.

Children went to have lunch with W and her family, reservations were for 1pm, unfortuately W messed up and restaurant could not accomodate the 17 people that were there. They then went to a local diner which could take them. Children were not too happy but went along with the new plans. They did eat a little later than they wanted too but they did the right thing.

I was cooking all day, enjoying the house being empty and cooked up a lot of food. Turkey, mashed potatos, sweet potatos, stuffing.... oh and hot fresh red lobster biscuts. My sister who was supposed to go out of town called and asked if she could come over, of course I said absolutey. We ended up eating dinner about 5:30pm. The kids didnt have a great appetite but they still ate. We have leftovers for a week.

I did not go on my date yesterday, but all is good I just text her now to see if she wants to go out tonight as I am going to the social club. I was also invited to watch a hockey game at a friends house.

Went for a run yesterday but after all the food I ate the run was just not that great.

D24 went home last night and D19 goes back to college tomorrow. It was really great having everyone here. Not one mention of their mom at all.

W sent over more dog food and gave D24 her credit card to pay for vet visit. OK....

Its going to be a great week coming up as I have work scheduled for six days. After the first of the year I will be buying some new equipment and hiring new employees. I will start to grow.

NO talk whatsoever about D from L's or W. Just as a reminder W filed on Jan 5th 2018. I have seen others who were D'ed rather quickly. We dont have a lot so this should be an easy D.

[bhappy2]

Journaling:

Things are going great, new life is now my new normal. I do not think about what could have been anymore. I am living my best life, doing things two years ago that I would not have done. Parties, meeting new people, running... writing, reading... its all about living the best life possible.

I have recieved several messages from my L that states for me to proceed with my D I will need to file a court date and subpoena my W to force her to show up. W and her L will not respond to any correspondance and we have agreed to their terms. To say this is bizzare would be an understatement. W has had limited contact with our children and they are now asking what is going on... once again I dont have any answers for them.

Went to a great party last night at the social club and we have a better/bigger one this Friday. You know the ugly sweater contest type stuff, also grab bag.

Played darts with my cousins, brother, and nephew last night what a great time. Nephew tried to get me to do shots, I did one and that was enough.

As I sit here writing this I have run 21 miles this week and I am contemplating going runing right now. I am feeling a little sluggish but feel determined. It just feels so good when I complete a 4-5 mile run.

Christmas Eve I am making a big dinner for me and my children, they are all looking forward to it. They will spend Christmas day with their mom which I think is great. I will be going to my brothers house Christmas day.

I have had several opportunities to date, and as I have stated before I am not ready for anything serious. I really do like not having to answer to anyone but me.