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If you have time take a train or plane to sud de France. The French Mediterranean is actually pretty nice in Nov. and Dec. and it's the off season for tourists.
Go to Europe, visit your Swiss family, make it happen.

Last edited by Twofeet; 11/08/18 02:12 AM.

H(37) W(35)
D8, D5, S3
T20, M13
BD 8/31/18
EA Discovered 9/13/18
Mediation 10/3/18
W files for D 10/12/18
W moves out 11/10/18
EA confirmed 12/25/18
D Final 1/10/19
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Originally Posted by burned
There are times I wish I could just get plastered and go home with someone, anyone. Has been half a year since I felt loved in a way that meant something. I know I'm supposed to love myself, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Hugs from friends and family doesn't quite cut it.

I could use any encouragement people might be able to spare.


There is plenty of time for that later. Keep focusing on your personal growth.

If you need physical touch, go get a 90 minute massage 1 time a week. Go to different massage people.

Pedicure's are nice as well.


"What is best for my kids is best for me"
Amor Fati
Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
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Originally Posted by burned

Still have that "stuck" feeling and I'm going to have to bring this up with IC and probably talk to my doctor about increasing dose of AD meds.

There are times I wish I could just get plastered and go home with someone, anyone. Has been half a year since I felt loved in a way that meant something. I know I'm supposed to love myself, but that doesn't seem to be happening. Hugs from friends and family doesn't quite cut it.

I could use any encouragement people might be able to spare.


I’m right beside you, brother. The best advice I can give you right now is to just. Keep. Going. One minute at a time. That’s really the only choice you have. Keep going. Don’t stop. Everyone is telling us it gets better as time goes on.

Believe what they say.

((((Burned))))


1/6/18-BD OM1
2/18-W meets OM2
4/18-W intros D4 to OM2
5/18-“Romance ends"
7/18-DB start
7/18-IHS Ends
4/19-WW moves out
3/21-D filed

Formerly pain18

Rise.

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Hang in there Burned. Im on the other side of the mountain finally, and i could care less now. It took a couple major things that my WW did to me, but I finally realized "what exactly am I waiting on her for"...she has been a monster. Its over and im done! No matter how it happens, time will take care of this for you one way or another. Right now, GAL!

You hang in there and take care of yourself. She should be fighting for you, not the other way around.


Together:20 years
M:3 years
Me:40
WW:40
S15
A suspected:5/17
AC:5/18
BD:8/18
WW in full blown R w/ OM
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Bad to worse today. My job is now in jeopardy and I may have to quit to save face.

Something I saw on another thread:
Originally Posted by LH19
she is going to D you. Now you have two choices, you can go out like an alpha male or you can go out like a beta male. Which choice do you think has a better chance at recon?

Could use some advice on how to make this happen. Parents and IC are in agreement that I need to just file. Because she has had the upper hand the entire time. Going dark has only made her more assertive, and I worry that she sees me as weak and avoidant. I don't feel much better than I did a month ago.

This is a giant train wreck. I need to take control somehow.


H: 35 W: 33
M: 11 T: 13

4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1")
6/23/18: I moved out
8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
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Hey man, you are in control of your life. Ease your mind about it. Let W free, this will set you free too. Do really try to detach, don´t expect anything. Don´t mind read. Going dark means leaving the dark mutual spaces you share with W, physically and spiritually. You stand for yourself, with a clear mind state, facing your future.

Be there. It takes time, be patient. Set you free.

Sending you a big (((((((((hug))))))))) B!

We are here with you.


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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Originally Posted by neffer
Let W free, this will set you free too.


So true. burned, neffer is giving you a head shot here of epic proportions.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Burned,

What do you have control of?


1/6/18-BD OM1
2/18-W meets OM2
4/18-W intros D4 to OM2
5/18-“Romance ends"
7/18-DB start
7/18-IHS Ends
4/19-WW moves out
3/21-D filed

Formerly pain18

Rise.

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At times I feel like she's intentionally roping me back in, in this weird sort of way that I can't quite put my finger on. But maybe that's just me projecting. In my mind she's a monster who destroyed the life we built together, for no particular reason except her own happiness. Was she really that miserable with me? Was I really that blind? Then I realize that she's really not roping me back in. I really mean nothing to her after everything I've done for her. I'm a nuisance that is getting in between her and her dreams. If only I'd help her with the D paperwork, SHE could finally be free.

Sorry to disappoint. I'll keep trying but I don't really feel like I've made much progress since August. I still blame all of my problems on everyone else. There's a long road ahead of me.


H: 35 W: 33
M: 11 T: 13

4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1")
6/23/18: I moved out
8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
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Originally Posted by burned
At times I feel like she's intentionally roping me back in, in this weird sort of way that I can't quite put my finger on.


She is. And this will continue as you get better at attachment. WASs hate to lose control of their LBS, even as they are walking away from them.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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