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Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Sounds like you've been convinced to get your head out of your arse Joseph so I don't need to pile on there. I am still concerned about what at least appears to me as not at all being yourself bur rather following some un written rule book and playing games. No, I don't think you are purposely trying to play games but I swear this is what women mean when they complain of game players.

Clearly not calling until Sunday in THIS case would have been wrong. Now, what to do now, that's harder. Lunch dates other than an initial meet and greet can be a pathway to the friend zone. That said, I think my second or third date with my ex w was a lunch date - so there you go.

What SHOULD you do? I'd reach out to her with some simple banter. After a little of that I'd say that I really enjoyed Saturday night. It's too bad it doesn't look like we can get together again until next week but if your schedule changes, let me know. If she suggests lunch, take her up on it. She's clearly interested enough to see you again. That in itself doesn't seem to happen a lot until it's followed by a flake out soon after so I'd not let things die off. If she doesn't hear from you until Sunday she will either think you are not that interested or are a player who was trying to find something better and when you didn't you decided to give her another try.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
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Hey DH....yeah, I don't think I will suggest lunch this week. I agree that lunch dates do not have a romantic vibe too them and it's probably best to save them for later on in the courtship when we are more comfortable with each other if it gets that far. Saturday night was left opened ended other than we both made it clear that our intentions were to see each other again. So now it's really about when to hit her up and mention meeting up next week which I will probably do on Wednesday as today is too early in the week. If I wait until Wednesday that will be 3 days of no contact from me which I don't think is too bad. I could also just send her a simple..."I hope you are having a great day" text which lets her know that she is on my mind.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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I had a daytime coffee date which lead to a guy asking me if I wanted a purely sexual relationship with him between the hours of 10-4 on a Saturday.

Oh, and stop overthinking. Just send the freakin text!!

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Originally Posted by Ginger1


Oh, and stop overthinking. Just send the freakin text!!


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

You are still WAY over-thinking it. These arbitrary rules are just making you trip over your own feet. Get out of your head and send the D@MN text!


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
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Alright.....I sent her a text. We shall see if she responds or if her feelings have changed. Before our date we only spoke twice in two weeks before we met and she didn't flake. Hopefully she doesn't take this as over pursuing or being needy.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Originally Posted by Joseph9
Hopefully she doesn't take this as over pursuing or being needy.


OMG - dude LOL LOL LOL, If ANYONE thinks that sending a simple text two days after a date is being needy, that person is wacked. Now if you follow that text up in an hour with, "Hope I wasn't bothering you with that text" and then an hour later say, "Hmmmm you must be busy today huh?" And then "Wow, did I say something wrong, why aren't you responding to me?" Finishing off the night with "Clearly we must be done and you are ghosting me, I don't know what I did to upset you, will you please at least respond?"

NOW THAT ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Is being needy - not sending a single simple text 36 plus hours after a nice date.

What concerns me Joseph is how will this woman see who the real you is if everything you do (at least between dates) is predicated on some set of rules and overthought of anything you do? Just be you and from all we can see, you are nowhere near needy behavior or being clingy or something.


DonH
Midwest
Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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ok ok ok....I get it. The last time we spoke was Saturday night which was a brief text exchange to make sure she got home ok. So yeah I agree, makes sense.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 3,401
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Originally Posted by DonH
Originally Posted by Joseph9
Hopefully she doesn't take this as over pursuing or being needy.


OMG - dude LOL LOL LOL, If ANYONE thinks that sending a simple text two days after a date is being needy, that person is wacked. Now if you follow that text up in an hour with, "Hope I wasn't bothering you with that text" and then an hour later say, "Hmmmm you must be busy today huh?" And then "Wow, did I say something wrong, why aren't you responding to me?" Finishing off the night with "Clearly we must be done and you are ghosting me, I don't know what I did to upset you, will you please at least respond?"

NOW THAT ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Is being needy - not sending a single simple text 36 plus hours after a nice date.



Again I find myself saying ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Don hit the nail SQUARELY on the head. Sending a text or 2 does NOT make you seem desperate or clingy. Sending a string of escalating texts is needy. It really is that simple. I don't need constant contact from a guy but a text every few days does not give me pause to assume he's needy...it simply makes me think he's interested.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Posts: 4,560
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Alright, I get it well she knows as she just responded to my text so obviously she is still interested as well and her feelings haven't changed. I won't ask her to lunch this week so I guess I will just banter with her for a bit.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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