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DavidUK Offline OP
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At the exchange of kids, W couldn't look me in the eyes. W said some of the junk food she had bought was for me (it didn't seem to be), I declined. I got the change-over done asap and I was genuinely happy.

Kids and I then went out with some relatives and we all had a brilliant time doing some GAL things we'd not done before.

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DavidUK Offline OP
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I've been feeling a lot stronger and my mind less foggy but it's Christmas eve... I can't help but feel the need to offer the hand of forgiveness to W... but even if she accepted I couldn't trust her not to cause a scene and she knows where the kids and I are if she cared enough to want to put things right...

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What is this put things right nonsense???

She has put things right.. She was unhappy and put things right by leaving you. But you keep trying to drag her back to somewhere she doesnt want to be. It's desperate and creepy.

She doesn't want your forgiveness.

Leave her alone.. you are getting a bit wierd now. Like a stalker who just doesn't get the message. Move.on

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DavidUK Offline OP
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Kids and I had a really good christmas and new year without W.

Unfortunately, W failed to return the kids and so has broken the court order again. I then saw the kids at the school to check they were OK. W then wanted to speak to me, I said she was breaking the court order as the kids should be with me. W lost her temper, shouting and swore. I walked away calmly. Later in the day she took the kids out of school before I could collect them and so broke the court order again. Kids have still not been returned to me and L are dealing with it.

What I realised is that I wasn't longing for W at all.

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I am glad you have come to that realization David. It will help with detachment and moving forward. I hope the L's get things sorted out. It is not healthy for the children to have their mom breaking court orders and then yelling and swearing at you when you remind her of it. Hopefully they will be returned to you soon. (((HUGS)))

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DavidUK Offline OP
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Thanks DV6.

I went to the school today as W still hasn't handed back the kids. I spoke the the head of the school and W came over to talk. The 3 of us spoke and W is now threatening to call the police if I go to collect both kids from school. However, she says I can take one of the kids - the one who doesn't take any notice of all the W manipulation.

The situation is dreadful for the kids but I can't do anything about W behaviour.

I felt completely detached this morning, stood up for myself and the kids and weirdly I think W showed interest. The head of the school said we had to think of the long-term when we would be in new relationships. W grunted and didn't look happy about that comment. I thought I look forward to having a new relationship.

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You need to be the lighthouse for your kids. We know you are taking good care of them. Get lawyer´s advice and keep cool, calm and collected. Be the healthy parent David.

(((hugs)))


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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DavidUK Offline OP
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Thanks Neffer.

My L says that as WW is expecting to win the court case, she's acting as if she has already won and can do what she likes.

One of the kids was returned to me last night, the other wasn't. We had a good time.

I saw WW again at the school today. She asked to speak to me and looked very tired in her eyes like she had been crying a lot. She said she'd just heard I was going to be challenging a court report and she didn't seem happy about it. It will mean the process lasting longer and her being questioned in court. She said she's noticed the kids have been doing fun things with me and that she now wants more communication between us (she's prob only saying it to give a better impression of her to the court).

Again, I realised afterwards that I never felt any wanting her when with her. It hadn't crossed my mind when with her. The more I see her true colours the easier it gets to detach.

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Originally Posted by DavidUK
The more I see her true colours the easier it gets to detach.


yep, completely agree David. Nothing has helped me move myself forward from my sitch as my WW's actions/words. if I had to detach without that and/or WW was more back and forth about her feelings then it would be significantly harder to detach. in a way it's funny to me how significantly our WWs can help us in recovering ourselves.

echo exactly Neffer's comments to you. praying for you and your family.

-B


Me:34 W:40
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Sounds like she is going ot lose her court case. She is sabatoging herself.

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