marina7 - I hope you are doing well. Threatening texts, a pending trial, you indeed have a lot of stress. Keep looking after yourself, this stress will take a toll on you.
I was shocked when I read about the threat. The timing and directness of it. Someone must be very confused if they think you are going to back off.
marina7, stay strong, dig in, and protect your children. So very true - a mother’s love and strength - do what is necessary. You can weep later.
I would like to offer a caution. Detachment and indifference is where you are heading. Demonizing W can provide a barrier between W and your feelings, provide a short term relief, and can also change your feelings. It is obvious W is hurting beyond reason. Do what is necessary and try to remain from a position of compassion. I have read a lot about you in your posts, and I like you. Please don’t lose yourself to this.
Best of luck at the trial.
(((marina7)))
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
MY XH and I could not agree either on visitation, mpney, the business ect…
I was concerned he and OW were using drugs and this would be harmful for my 2 kids especially b/c my son was young and had life threatening allergies one wrong food- and … I fought..and never gave up
My XH got worse over time--gave up and eventually left..a vanisher..to our benefit My kids never met OW I got to raise them alone..got our business I was extremely lucky and had a good L No One really wins in this but we have to protect our kids
and if you can protect your 2...for now maybe the 3rd will come back when W gets worse and they do-
Just hang in there Listen to the L sometimes they know what we can have and not Fight fair for what you believe and just trust that you will get through it
Your W may get worse as time continues..if they are using /drinking the addiction escalates with the crises because they cant deal with pain we are the projection of their issues(not true) because their issues come from their unresolved childhood pain
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Yes unfortunately this is a long battle. I know I can only control my actions not W. But in that process kids are hurting.
DnJ yes I agree with you W is alot of pain. I can see it now, W is hurting and I was always the fixer And I can't fix this I can't take W pain away I can't do anything. I know is hard wanting to protect her and tell W Your Amazing, Your beautiful and Your safe with me
But I know I can't I been fired from that. All I am doing now Is protecting the trio's that's all I can do but for now I only Can with d10 and s9 as s10 is with W.
Peactoday, I hope to God that W would come to her mother sense Before things get worse. I know W is drinking kids have made it aware. Ow drives While W drinks while they are out eating. Is like OW wants W Drunk d10 said OW kept ordering drinks for W. Smh
W has a alcoholic dad who physically abused W mom for 18yrs W didn't want to be him now W drinks like a sailor. So W new addition is alcohol and shopping kids say W has bags of Cloths still in closet always buying. So shopping has gotten worse
Yes as W yelled in mediation I am the cause I broke her. I know it's not my fault, I know I only can be her light house For her. But honestly I would be her lighthouse as her mother Kids not sure I can ever be with W. W done so much damage That I at the moment am just our kids stable parent.
Is going on 1yr 7months and no sign of nothing just W Angry,happy sometimes just a blank look. I have stop Looking what stage W in. I been focusing on me.
Since Text I been staying low but also Not letting life stopping me. I do believe W is trying to Intimidate me. I can see W having OW or New friends Who knows what W has plans but as I said I am a Mother first and that won't change I won't be scared Or threatened. I know that God has his plan. I am just following his lead
Is sad that last week in kids therapy we talk about a safety Plan whe we are together if something happens or when they In W house. I did cried because I never thought I would have to Protect kids from W.
This woman was supposed to protect our kids W wanted to be there mom now W is the monster the stranger I am trying to protect our kids from. Who would have thought that.
Been doing lots of self care. Went to dinner with my friend who Loves kids and cares for me. Friend is there and listen she doesn't Give her input. Just listens and when I don't have kids she knocks on Door says let's go your not going to mope around. So Dinner then drinks at sport bar. Just had a wine and water And then seen the movie Crazy Rich Asians. Btw great movie laughed so hard. I caught friend staring at Me while I laugh friend said finally glad to see that smile I have known.
It was weird going out with another female it was weird. Felt sad then happy.
But like my mom said that's normal feeling.
I know I truly thought W and I would die old or I would Die in W arms. As many of you know am sick.
But this is my new life. So taken it One day at a time One hour at a time One minute at a time One second at a time
Walking with God.
At BD Lesbian marriage Me39,W36 S9,D9,S8 adopted all three Together almost 10yrs Bomb Drop - April 2017 W movedout - May,2017 OW June,2017 Currently 2018 Me40, W38 S10,D10,S9
Im glad you had some fun.. really important for us to create new activities, friends, and hobbies
I believe when A mlcer is also an alcoholic, that person has 2 issues The MLC starts or fuels the addiction. .if they were recovering it starts it again Because they cant deal with the kind of pain it takes to grow and get through the Crises-and they want to have fun and believe they should be able to drink-
the alcohol is a true addiction and few will get and stay sober for a lifetime-(even if not in MLC)
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I am now in a place where I no longer get disappointed about court. I know God has a plan.
I still get angry not knowing what's taking so long to have siblings together that's all I want.
W is again in Monster mode. I financially am drowning I ask for help for some cloths our kids are growing fast.
W response is the money I get in child support is enough Btw under $400 a month that's is emergency court order Till W does financial affidavit. Btw W has not done They been asking and nothing W is pushing it longer.
In the meantime I am putting all I can on my cc. While W has a new car, buys new clothes constantly.
I know it doesn't matter to me. If I didn't need help I Wouldn't ask for a penny. I am going to food pantry to feed us. Crazy right While W is living life.
But is ok I tell myself kids and I are happy W is so miserable Is scary to see how bad she looks.
As I say to myself every morning One day at a time One hour at a time One minute at a time One second at a time
D10 been quiet and sad. D10 sits next to me and holds my hand and Just sit there with me. I just say I am here. D10 says I know mommy thank you S10 been angry again very concerning as I told mediator he needs to be home please S9 also in hos little world. He has created a monkey world that's is his Safe place when at W home. S9 said mom your in my monkey world always He is a sweet little boy.
I see pictures of the trio's 2yrs ago they had smiles ear to ear. Now I put pictures side by side those smiles are gone. It breaks my heart How MLC can destroy not only their life but innocent children's Crazy. But truly sad.
Well back to mediation which I know it won't get nowhere W has made it Clear. I'll see you in trial and let's not forget the text I was sent I will lose everything if I go to trial.
Been sad again. Just sad for my kids. I never wanted to give them This life. Struggling, wondering if I have enough for rent. Is just crazy.
I know God has his plan. I am here waiting patiently.
At BD Lesbian marriage Me39,W36 S9,D9,S8 adopted all three Together almost 10yrs Bomb Drop - April 2017 W movedout - May,2017 OW June,2017 Currently 2018 Me40, W38 S10,D10,S9
Setbacks are hard, incredibly hard. And none of this happens in the time we want it to. I know with money being so tight and the kids apart, this is an incredibly sad time. Those smiles will be back. They will. They have a parent who loves them and is fighting for them. That is the important part. Focus on what you control and let the rest go. Take them to the library and on fun walks, focus on all the great ways of getting out that don't cost money. Check into the resources in your community, you may be able to get help with food, clothes, school supplies, etc. That is so little money to be living on without having an income. I so admire you and all you are doing for your kids.
marina7 - you are doing great. Like OneArt, I admire your outlook and determination.
I understand how you feel about your kids. Mine lost their smiles for a while also. Trust and have faith, the smiles do return. Just keep talking to your kids, let them come to you whenever they want or need, and just be there for them. They have to heal, and will gain from your strength.
You’re a really good person marina. Ear to ear smiles will return; with you in their lives, I have no doubt.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Well I have the Trios this weekend together. S9 got sick W said she will drop s10 at my house I said Ok Thank you.
Oh W temp check. W calls am here I said Ok
W hello how is s9 M s9 come over here S9 hi mommy W hi baby sorry you sick S9 is ok mom mommy taking care of me W ok W hi Marina M hello W do you need anything M No W staring W ok W you look tired M yes long day W I hope trios don't all get sick M is ok I'll keep them all together until Trios get better W ok, W said something I laughed W said remember You and I will have a connection that nobody will ever know. When you and I are together we are just silly we are like one person. M I just nodded W ok I'll be like 2 or 3hrs away. I hope s9 gets better I won't be around. I am going be out Of town. M I got this. I got the trios. You have a good weekend getaway with Girlfriend have fun. Close the doors.
I hope I handle this well. I won't lie my stomach was turn I felt my heart drop hearing W saying we are one we are silly when is you and I. But I know is temp check as She knows or might know I went out with friend.
Kids where nervous d10 took a deep breath I said you Ok. D10 I thought mom Would had been angry or yell at you. I said don't be worried. Remember God is with us.
I remember telling W I got the Trios, W just nodded
At BD Lesbian marriage Me39,W36 S9,D9,S8 adopted all three Together almost 10yrs Bomb Drop - April 2017 W movedout - May,2017 OW June,2017 Currently 2018 Me40, W38 S10,D10,S9
