Thanks G......she seems really into me. She commented yesterday that it was probably a good thing that our first date was stopped when it was. She had already made plans prior to visit her grandparents. After we left brunch yesterday I commented to her in the car that dropping her off is going to be interesting. She looked at me, smiled, and said well at minimum I want you to come inside so I can touch you for a little bit . When we got into her kitchen she literally shoved her entire tongue down my throat. It took me a few seconds to get my balance back
So now I am just trying to figure out how to proceed next. Truthfully everything just seems so natural between us which I know is a great sign. She is already making comments about our future and throwing those type of remarks on there so I know she is totally into me. Also......it doesn't scare me, I don't feel nervous so I know I am ready. She is smart, funny, intelligent, sexy, great sense of humor, accepts my daughters....literally checks all the boxes. I could walk to her house in 5 minutes she lives that close.
I am trying really hard though to be patient and remain objective, and stay on my purpose just in case she is not all in. I can tell she wants me bad but we both agreed to be patient but I know the next time we are together in that type of setting it'll be on.
So I am now in this phase of trying to determine how often to contact her while also keeping my distance and protecting my heart just in case she pulls the plug.
Last edited by job; 08/20/1807:03 PM. Reason: added link to previous thread
Ok, J9. when this is coming from me, the woman who gets accused of never slowing down.....
Slow down. You have known her a few hours. Talking of the future should freak you out just a bit.
You don't know her. neither of you should be "all in" right now.
Date her, absolutely. Get to know her.
Sounds like she is going to jump your bones. Be prepared.
But really J, she also seems like the type is going to call you her boyfriend in a day or two. I also have a feeling you would be ok with that. Which worries me. Why do you say "in case SHE pulls the plug?" You might pull the plug! Is there even a plug to pull yet? This one could be a stage 5 clinger and want insta family. You might need to slow her down.
You know me, I don't take it slow. So coming from me, you need to stop and take a breather. Sure, I bet she seems perfect on paper. But you don't know her yet. Take the time to get to know her. Have dates. What's the rush anyways?
I agree 1000% G.....I want to take it slow and the future talk is a little bit shocking which is why I was not overly aggressive in trying to extend the dates and/or jump right in bed. The future talk didn't necessarily bother me but it has been soooo long since I had experienced someone this into me that I think I got focused on that. After dealing with an X that wants nothing to do with you to this takes a bit to get used to. I spent a good part of Saturday night just sitting on my couch with a glass of bourbon reflecting on WTF just happened to me. I was more nervous for brunch yesterday than I was our initial meeting.
Yes..........her jumping my bones is probably putting it lightly
There is absolutely no rush, trying to remain objective when someone has their foot stomped on the gas is hard. Especially when you do feel the attraction and it was immediate probably like what you had with HC. I told her yesterday at brunch when the topic of sex came up and a couple of other things that we needed to be patient that there is no rush and she agreed.
So no there is no "plug", maybe a poor choice of words but I do understand where you are coming from. You are correct as I get to know her more I certainly could be the one as well. Again I need to make sure I keep my objectively and not get blinded by someone who is into me which is completely different than what I have been dealing with for the past 1.5 years with my X.
Hi J9. I just want to tell you that I know that you know that I“m really really really happy for you man. I“m so happy that I“m just tearing as expected. But I don“t give a f@ck.
Enjoy it man. Go slow, like tasting a glass of a good wine.
Microscope now...
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
I know man....hearing it from you brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye. I know its not over but just to feel some reciprocation on the other end, the feeling of woman that is really into you for who you are is just amazing. I don't care how much we self-validate nothing replaces the love and affection of another person.
It's been a long road and it feels good to be finally seeing the work pay off no matter what happens with this woman. Knowing that the possibilities are out there at this time is good enough.
J, I totally, completely, absolutely understand where you are coming from. Sometimes I think you might be my long lost brother.
My tendency to get to deep too fast does really stem from so many years of rejection and someone not wanting me. When someone shows interest, even if it over the top, I do tend to suck it right up. It lead to my FF debacle (my R with a younger guy about a year and a half ago) He came on really strong and it felt beyond good, I kind of let him drive the boat on that one.
Enjoy her being into you. It does feel, really, really, good. Just be careful is all. I am the prime example of what happens when you eat it up too much.
It is refreshing to know possibilities are out there. I never doubted you would have a lack thereof.
So far she has been the one letting me drive the boat outside of her initially reaching out to me through the APP. I made the date for Saturday night and she agreed. I asked her out to brunch and she agreed as well. When we are together it is obvious that she is totally into me and when I brought up sex yesterday she lit up like a Christmas tree. You could tell she has been really trying to restrain herself.
Maybe her way of trying to take it slow is by not initiating conversation with me or making plans....IDK. Like I said so far I have been the one reaching out and taking the lead. Granted it has only been 2 dates and a passion filled make out session in the kitchen but outside of our dates she has not been the one pursuing me aggressively. That has me a little concerned but again maybe she is trying to restrain herself.
I agree...it is fun and I am trying to be careful. We did exchange a couple of text's this am...again initiated by me but I am going to call her on my way home tonight from work to see if she wants to meet up for lunch tomorrow. She will be out of town Wed/Thurs and with both of us having our kids it might be the only time we can meet up.
Thanks G......truthfully I started to doubt myself a bit. I almost just said F online dating and shut my profile down but my best friend convinced me otherwise. Maybe that is why the universe spoke up and said "I am going to give this to you Saturday am when you least expect it" Sure enough I got home from playing basketball Saturday morning and I had a message. I know that is kinda woo-woo.
She has been divorced for 2 years and has 2 kids (boy/girl) 15 and 13. She is 42 and was in a 1 yr R with an older man who was 55. It sounds like she got love bombed by him and she broke it off in June. She told me it wasn't right for her as he was not family orienated. I guess she had a couple of other dates as well that didn't materialize into anything. She has a great job, so far seems very grounded, and our interests are the same. We have actually talked about quite a lot from our sex drives, to music, religion, and every thing else in between. So far no red flags....outside of the speed........and she did say her parents eloped after only knowing each other for 6 weeks but they have been together for over 40 years.
I am so happy to hear that this is working out so far and that you're having a great time and enjoying yourself. Man, I wonder how it feels to be with someone new and different after so many years. That love and affection sounds super good - that's what I really miss.
I look forward to reading you journey with BrunchBabe!
Hey M - The hardest part is restraining yourself. Kissing her, being with her, and meeting her felt totally natural but trying to keep your emotions in check is difficult! I missed it as well so we shall see if this works out.
. When we got into her kitchen she literally shoved her entire tongue down my throat. It took me a few seconds to get my balance back