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Congratulations on your last gig with a standing ovation. Please to hear your friends' heart surgery good news. I hope that CMM lung scan comes back with good news.

Have you discussed with him about it? Could he be afraid that he sees it as an enormous task and he doesn't I is where to begin? If it's the case could the two of you sit down for 30 minutes to start with once a week then when CMM sees some results maybe you could be increase the time spent on it.

You are being supportive by telling him that he needs to do something about it, but as you pointed out you can't do it for him. Let's see this from a different angle if you weren't in his life he would have had to do it for himself, so yes you can support him and give him the courage to start this but you don't know all the infos only him. I'm sorry if I sound harsh and selfish in my thinking.

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No, that's how I feel too - I can't take on his problem. I have given him advice and gotten advice from Mr. Big Lots about how his daughter solved her problem. I do think he feels overwhelmed by it and I discussed with him how to eat an elephant. I also gave him some ideas about documentation that might be helpful - his parents death certificates, the probate of their will, his high school yearbook entry.

I think he was also always afraid he'd get in some kind of legal trouble, although any legal issue should really fall on the recruiter who gave a 16 year old boy a false social security number!!!!

He's a grown man and should be able to take care of business. I can support and encourage him but I've got too much on my own plate to do any more.

He sees the specialist tomorrow, I've given him questions to ask about the differential diagnosis but I am worried about the possible outcome. His father died of lung cancer.

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Well CMM saw the pulmonologist today and apparently it was somewhat reassuring in that she expected that if it was a pneumonia secondary to a tumor they usually would be able to see the tumor on the CT scan and it didn't look like that. Still they will do a bronchoscopy next week to rule it out for sure and to see wtf is going on in there.

That's good because if new boyfriend developed lung cancer I'd feel obligated to care for him but that would be a lot to take on after only 3 months of dating (or less - I don't remember exactly when our first date was but he does.)

He's very romantic and quite besotted with me. Interestingly, I'm a physical touch person and so is he - but he said that before me, he would always roll over after and sleep on his side of the bed. With me he doesn't let go of me all night. I guess it says something about his marriage?

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On a different note:
My singer songwriter friend that I play music with is FB friends with my ex (she's known both of us for over 30 years). She never sees him post (I don't think he posts much) and he never comments on her posts. She's not happy with how he handled the divorce or the kids after the divorce but she doesn't unfriend him.

She noticed yesterday that he "liked" a picture of herself with Marshall Crenshaw at this concert we played at in Central Park last week. Which means he's been seeing all the fabulous posts, videos and pictures of me playing with her in front of 4-5,000 people and being with all these famous musicians onstage. (Marshall Crenshaw LOVED our rendition of Femme Fatale btw.)

I'll admit - it gives us both a little bit of a thrill to think of my ex looking at her page, wondering how I so outpaced him musically!!! (he can play about a dozen Neil Young songs he learned in college on acoustic guitar but he always thought HE was the musician in the family!) Living well IS the best revenge!!!!!!!!!

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Who really could be disciplined enough not to think about someone they were with so long and wonder from time to time, what if? I love Marshall Crenshaw. Love that you are living your life. I remember being jealous of someone like you that I used to work with as I went home every day.

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kml Offline OP
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Yeah I love Marshall Crenshaw too!

I found the silver lining in my ex leaving me and that was time for music. And no critical disbelieving spouse at home to rain on my parade.

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saw the clip - fabulous job !!!


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
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I love your story kml. It would make a great movie...especially the part when your ex sees you succeeding as a musician!!! I just love it! Musician as a 2nd career!!! That is just awesome and so so inspiring.

A much better success story, then say getting back with a cheating ex that abandoned his kids and family.

You are one awesome lady. I say write a book!


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WAH in summer
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
saw the clip - fabulous job !!!


I tried to do some searches and found the concert I'm pretty sure you were part of in Central Park but can't find your clip. Maybe you can provide some keywords that might bring up one of these videos on YouTube? I'd love to see it!


DonH
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Me 56
WAW-EXW 55
Met 11/95 / Married 5/00
Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
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kml Offline OP
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We played Femme Fatale - add that to your search Don.

Meanwhile - so CMM had his bronchoscopy yesterday. He's had a small nagging cough since we first started dating that was thought to be the residual of a case of flu he had late spring. He saw his doctor who prescribed antibiotics and took an xray which looked like pneumonia. When it didn't resolve with a couple of courses of antibiotics he got a CT scan which showed a 12 x 14 cm mass of uncertain type. Bronchoscopy yesterday did not show any endobronchial lesions (meaning no masses or tumors inside the large airways) and he did have a lot of impacted mucous which they cleaned out. Multiple needle biopsies and cultures were taken but we won't have the results until next week. Lung cancer of course is the big concern but so far nobody really seems to have a clear idea what this is. A sputum culture is growing some pseudomonas aeroginosa, a type of bacteria, but that might just be an overgrowth caused by his previous two rounds of antibiotics. Blood tests for ANCA-related vasculitis syndromes are all negative.

His father was a nonsmoker who died of lung cancer. CMM is also a nonsmoker but did have about four years of second hand smoke exposure in the military when he was young. I'm trying not to borrow trouble and just wait for the biopsy results.

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