Had our last gig tonight, small venue but we got a standing ovation. We played a cover of an old Stephen Stills song that we just learned today and I was very satisfied with what I decided to play on it. Up until now I have always just played what I've been told, but this trip I wrote my own parts to a couple of songs and they were well received so I feel like I'm making progress as a musician.
On the bad side of things - CMM has something on his lung and I'm worried it might turn out to be lung cancer. Not a smoker but I think he had some history of second hand smoke exposure. Had his CT Scan today and his doctor called and scheduled him an appointment with the specialist. Hoping it will turn out to br something benign but it's very worrisome.
Had our last gig tonight, small venue but we got a standing ovation. We played a cover of an old Stephen Stills song thOn the bad side of things - CMM has something on his lung and I'm worried it might turn out to be lung cancer. Not a smoker but I think he had some history of second hand smoke exposure. Had his CT Scan today and his doctor called and scheduled him an appointment with the specialist. Hoping it will turn out to br something benign but it's very worrisome.
Sending good wishes and healing energies.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I like CMM and so far most things with him are grand. The problem is this: He has a major issue that he needs to deal with. Something he has stuck his head in the sand, ostrich like, in the past that is now coming back to bite him in the butt.
And it feels like a problem for me. I took on so much of crazy ex-boyfriend's stress. I NEED CMM to handle his problem. I know it makes me sound like a bad partner - I'm not, really my problem is I can't not help and it adds to MY stress because I absorb the stress of someone else's problem.
Maybe someone here will have some practical advice for him about his problem. (The sooner he fixes it the better I'll feel).The story is this: Born in the 1950's outside the hospital (rapid delivery). No birth certificate was ever made. A military recruiter who became his "buddy" helped him enlist at 16 (he graduated high school early) by using a fake birthdate and assigning him some other person's Social Security number.
With his military ID and this social security number he was able to get driver's license ID and he has just used this false birthdate and social security his whole life. Has always paid taxes under this social security number. At some point the IRS contacted him because they had two people paying taxes under the same number and they somehow separated the accounts but he never went to social security to clear it up and get a new social security number. Now some problems are cropping up and besides, he certainly needs to get it cleared up before he's old enough to collect social security in a few years. And, god forbid, if his lung problem turns out to be lung cancer he might need to draw benefits eventually.
I do have a friend whose daughter had a similar problem - born in the ambulance, neither hospital or ambulance registered the birth, young dumb parents didn't do anything about it. She entered adulthood without a social security number or drivers license and it took years for her to clear it up. I asked him and he said our states office of "Vital Statistics" was where she started. But since CMM was born in another state, I'm guessing he would have to start there?
Aside from his military ID, he doesn't have much of a paper trail in his youth. His parents died when he was 20 and there was probate court so those records should contain reference to him being their son. No baptismal records. The schools he attended don't exist anymore, but I imagine he could get yearbook evidence of high school attendance from Yearbook dot com or some such. Only living relatives besides his kids are a cousin he has lost touch with and doesn't have contact information for. In the past I don't imagine it would have been such a problem but with all the anti-immigrant stuff in place today (he's not an immigrant btw) I think they'll scrutinize things much more thoroughly.
Anybody here who has ever dealt with such a problem before or has worked at Social Security who could offer any advice?
How well do you know and trust him? Do you know his family yet? This is certainly not a common story and it would sound some alarms for me. More so that he has not atraightened something like this out at this stage in the game.
I agree it's a weird story so I have google-snooped and I have confirmed as much as I can of his history - ex-wife and kids check out online, graduation from high school in Chicago confirmed, Masters Degree from Tulane confirmed, has his military ID and an old ID badge from when he worked at Qualcomm.
I couldn't find anything about his parent's death yet but his stories about them have been very consistent. I don't have details like their birthdates - if I did I probably could find more. I've recommended he send for their death certificates as that may be useful in his attempts to fix things. If he does then I could confirm that part of the story as well.
I would have thought the lack of a birth certificate strange if I didn't know the story about my friend's daughter not having one - and she was born in the early 80's! Maybe it was an African American thing as both fathers were black? Distrust of the system or just lack of awareness of the importance? Or maybe it's just something no one thinks to tell new parents who have a baby born unexpectedly outside the hospital?
I think I'm less concerned now about the story and more about the personality traits that led to him letting this go on so long. I do think he was worried he'd get in trouble and didn't want to rock the boat, but it also seems like he has an ostrich tendency. I think he was an ostrich in his marriage too, ignoring his wife's alcoholism until it became so bad he had to acknowledge it.
just seeing this now - ive been in full blown move mode. glad the tour went well and your friend is doing so well post-op. re CMM - praying that theres nothing wrong w his lung. yes bizarre story; agreed ostrich tendency.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
