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pinn #2837332 02/14/19 02:13 PM
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P.....I am picky as well and that's ok. Just realize it might take you longer.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
Bo562 #2837477 02/15/19 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Bo562


Nothing wrong with having standards, having boundaries and being true to yourself. Don’t compromise just to be with someone, and don’t ignore big, screaming red flags to be with someone just to be with someone.


Oh I would never do that. If one thing is for sure... I am not the type of guy that ‘has’ to be in a relationship. That’s for darn sure. I do have a good idea of what I’m looking for now. Meh... it’ll come!

pinn #2839330 02/27/19 04:36 PM
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Originally Posted by pinn
Originally Posted by pinn
One issue that I need to overcome is that I am picky AF.



That doesn't sound great... let me say that that pickyness goes way beyond looks. It's a whole package type of thang.

Congrats Pinn, you've lured me out of stealth mode.

DO NOT compromise - there is nothing wrong with being picky AF. Better to be picky and alone than with the wrong one, from one fellow picky AF person to another.

of course, my ex departed many years ago, divorce final over two years ago and I am still not dating. So factor that in.

xoxoxo
-Bttrfly


M 20+ T25+
S ~15.5 (BD)
BD 4/6/15
D 12/23/16

"Someone I loved once gave me
A box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand,
That this too, was a gift."
~ Mary Oliver
bttrfly #2839387 02/27/19 07:45 PM
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Originally Posted by bttrfly
Originally Posted by pinn
Originally Posted by pinn
One issue that I need to overcome is that I am picky AF.



That doesn't sound great... let me say that that pickyness goes way beyond looks. It's a whole package type of thang.

Congrats Pinn, you've lured me out of stealth mode.

DO NOT compromise - there is nothing wrong with being picky AF. Better to be picky and alone than with the wrong one, from one fellow picky AF person to another.

of course, my ex departed many years ago, divorce final over two years ago and I am still not dating. So factor that in.

xoxoxo
-Bttrfly


Boom! Haha look at what I can do! :-)

Welllll... I am kind of in the same boat. I mean BD was almost 4 years ago (FOUR years ago!). Where does the time go? And I have been technically divorced for well over a year now. I would definitely rather be alone than with the 'wrong' one that is for sure. I just don't want to over look someone who actually might be great. Besides... who am I to be so picky anyway?? ;-)

Anyway.. thanks for stopping by b-fly!

pinn #2839393 02/27/19 08:38 PM
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Originally Posted by pinn

Welllll... I am kind of in the same boat. I mean BD was almost 4 years ago (FOUR years ago!). Where does the time go? And I have been technically divorced for well over a year now. I would definitely rather be alone than with the 'wrong' one that is for sure. I just don't want to over look someone who actually might be great. Besides... who am I to be so picky anyway?? ;-)

Anyway.. thanks for stopping by b-fly!


You have EVERY right to be picky. So, you are you to be picky, in answer to your question. Don't settle. It is never a good thing!


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
pinn #2840122 03/04/19 02:25 PM
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ahh thanks Dawn. We shall see how it goes. I'm not getting any younger here!

ugh! 15 inches of snow over night. We have had such a quiet winter and then bam.... the weather peeps actually mess up on the low side and we got double what they thought.... nice! In the meantime, one of my good friends was visiting San Diego posting beautiful pictures of the beach. What am I doing?

House is on track to be put up on the market in about a month. Painters were supposed to come over today. In fact, they said we will likely be there at 7 AM regardless of weather. I said hmmmmm... ok and got up at 5 to clear my driveway. Of course they canceled at 6:30 right as I finished.

Otherwise the blah blah's have gone away. I guess they come and go. Nothing to do with XW, just life in general, but I guess that's normal. Actually felt great the past week or so. Just felt confident in different aspects of life. Maybe it has to do with selling this house and starting a new chapter. I am not really sure as there are a few different things in the works.

I submitted my lottery registration for Mt Whitney this weekend. I hope I get it! Though, then I'll have to find some people to go with haha! I think I have 1 or 2. This is definitely not something for my normal group of friends. Also in the process of booking a trip to Maui in October with friends, probably run a half marathon while I'm there... why not?? I need some more quick trips! hmmmmmmm

pinn #2843219 03/24/19 11:08 PM
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Got that Mt Whitney permit!! woo woo! Now the hard part... convincing some people to go with me so I don't kill myself out there.

Haven't been on here much and sad to see the state of various posters post D relationships. I used to like reading those stories down here. It's *not* motivating me to get out there. Hope everyone gets through their ups and downs for the better!

pinn #2843228 03/25/19 02:09 AM
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I was thinking that too. The movie version is that our exes end up with horrible relationships and lives and regret what they did and see us moved on with great partners. Right? Has not happened like that. I don’t get it. Why doencheaters and addicts and people that lied and depleted family funds get happily ever afters? Where the h@ll is karma?

Last edited by job; 03/25/19 11:32 AM. Reason: edited a word

M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
pinn #2843257 03/25/19 12:48 PM
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Juju - yeah, i know what you're saying. Looking for poetic justice. The only thing I believe about karma is that it won't happen in the timeline that you want, but it will come. I am not personally waiting for it. If and when it happens, I might not even find out about it. All I know is that I don't want to be with a damaged person and what they do is up to them. Damaged attracts damaged, so that should be karma enough.


No one is coming to save you!

pinn #2844791 04/07/19 05:38 PM
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Howdy hoo ya'll. I feel bad not keeping up with everyone, reading their threads and commenting.... but I find that they bring me down regardless if they are positive or negative posts.

I have been thinking of this dating thing more and more. A friend mine was saying how it is necessary to put yourself out there so you can see what is out there for you. And I agree. At this point, almost turning 38, I feel like the family dream is slipping away and that makes me sad. I need to dedicate my life to something... I guess I could always dedicate it to my career and go work for one of the major silicon valley companies.. ahh who knows.

Anyway, I started to dabble in the online world. Nothing serious, if anything comes up cool, if not it's ok. I found something interesting. I am highly desirable to a specific group of women...... 40+, which I guess makes sense. Even at my gym the 40+ crowd is heavily flirtatious. Very little in my ideal range 30-36ish. Online is tough in this age group, it is all about looks which I guess is the essence of online dating. I don't think I am ugly but have a few things going against me... namely hair, height and being divorced. 5'6 is not ideal and I am not going to lie about it on there. I don't get why someone 5'2 needs someone 6 ft plus. Anyway, if you look at the rest of the resume it looks good! But I don't flaunt it on there. I have a high paying job and I think it would be super difficult to guess my salary by looking at me or interacting with me. I have 2 masters, but again I'm not talking about that online. I am in tip top shape but there are no gym mirror selfies of me or even me in tight clothes. Even in person, you can't really tell my level of fitness. No debt minus my mortgage, good savings, fully funded retirement. I can tell you all of this because no one here actually knows me so it doesn't matter. But none of this stuff is going to come across online, and honestly, I don't want it to. Ideally, I want someone to be drawn to me for me and then she can slowly uncover all that other stuff as we go along and be pleasantly surprised. So I'm not sure online is the way to go for me.

Oh and another thing in regards to dating. I have a friend and he wants to set me up with his GF's friend. She fits my 'type' and he knows that. So I say ok... what's her story? He says ohh... well she just got out of a 10 year relationship. She left him but she wasn't happy for years. And instantly I'm like naw... I'm good. Thanks though. He responds... you don't even want to meet her? I say no... thank you though. Is that weird?

Ah well... good news is that my house hits the market this week! Change of scenery will do me good!

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