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No expectations J9....... They will kill you.

But I do wish you the best, I hope it goes well and leads to a second date.

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Thanks G.....right got it! No expectations.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Well that was a bust......old [censored]! Ladies......please post current pictures of yourself, not from 2016 or when you thought you looked your best but please from the last 6 months.......ugggh so frustrating!!!!!!!!!!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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J,

Man I am shocked 2 years makes such a difference. Try not to get to frustrated and on to the next one. My thought right now is you want it to much right now and the universe doesn't work that way.

At least you went on the date, mine canceled 7 hours before due to having to work over. I told her no problem let me know your schedule next week and we'll see what works. Still nothing and I don't expect to hear from her.

Expectations remain at zero.

Side note: last night daughter wakes me up moms on the phone. I say hello she's all frantic that she thinks someone is trying to get into her house. I go over because it's 3 minutes away. Nothing. First time a saw her in about a month. Felt nothing but feeling sorry for her. Home alone, scared in half the house I have.

Good days are ahead my friend, football starts soon lol!

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I think ur right L......just putting too much into it. I need to relax more with it. 1 of her pics was from 2013 and the other 1 that showed her body was for when she was training for her fitness competition which is not how she looks bau. When i made a comment about her photo and she responded with i am a little thicker now that should have been my clue. I also like girls that are outgoing, energetic, and bubbly. She was more reserved, a more process driven type of person. She texted me last night......telling me thanks but I won't respond, no need after the initial meeting. I am sure she knew.

I got a couple of those calls early on, it is sad if you think about it but they will not go down without a fight! Your right, no expectations

Yes......football starts soon!!!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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I think a non response is a bit rude. She was really busy and took the time out to meet with you.

Just respond with something like " glad to have met you. Didnt feel a connection but best of luck" or something along those lines.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
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Did she gain like 50lbs? Or 10lbs? I don't know how drastic of a change it could be aging wise in 2 years......

I mean, she's not all that smart if she is putting some fitness model photos up if she doesn't look like that anymore. What a way to disappoint someone. I must be one of the only women who put up some of my least flattering pictures. Maybe that's why guys are attracted to me. I like to set the standard real low so they are pleasantly surprised.

You clearly have a high standard of physique, which while possible, is kind of hard for women in their 40's who have had children to maintain. Especially since hormones start to really take over and weight loss becomes much harder. So, in OLD, you better expect a lot less than you see in pictures. You like what you like, but your pool is a lot smaller, you know what I mean?

And yes, personality a big one. Some people are really just nervous on first OLD. I like outgoing and talkative and sarcastic and funny. I get it.

Have you started your cross fit? I took my trial class last week and loved it. My friend and her husband signed up (We laugh and call me the sister wife) and we start next Tuesday officially. There was some serious eye candy up in there! I hope to become eye candy myself, haha.

I agree with Juju. Say something. Don't just ignore. See, you start before you meet saying stuff like "not seeing you will delay our first kiss" but then you want to say nothing after the date? Nah, that's not right.

I am sorry it didn't work out. It's a huge numbers game, you have barely dipped your toes in. That's why you should talk to multiple women at a time. It's meeting. It's not relationshipping. You'll get there.

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Sorry it wasn't up to your expectations, J9, but I have to go with Juju and Ginger on this one. Do NOT just not respond at all to her text. That really doesn't seem like the type of man you are, so at least be honest with her. You seem like too nice a guy to just ghost her now, even if you aren't interested.

I am fairly certain that I have said this before, maybe even to you, but that is one of the things I HATE about OLD. I post current pics, but honestly, some of my current pics are more flattering than I really look, so I make darn sure I tell people on the front end that I'm a fat girl. And, while I have some very flattering photos posted, I also have a couple that I HATE, but that really SHOW me, so that people know what they are getting. I honestly think that is the reason I don't have much success with OLD. But, it is what it is. I have had several men tell me that they meet women in person and they look at least 10 years older than their pics. I just don't get that. But, honestly, it works that way with men too. I had seen pics of a guy then met him in person and the pics didn't look anything at all like what he looked like in person. I wondered for a minute if it was even the same guy. Apparently false advertising is common. LOL

Hang in there, J9, and just keep talking to and meeting women. You'll find one that fits your needs and wants when the time is right.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
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Thanks guys, I appreciate your input and I will consider it all. I know it goes both ways with the pictures, being honest, etc. I guess for me it is just a turn off if you are not being honest. Whatever you look like just own it and be honest that is the frustrating part for me. I really believe that people know they do it, I even had this conversation with over text with this girl when she asked me about my experiences with OLD. I told her I didn't like it, I had not been past any first dates and when she asked why I told her people don't look like they do in their pictures. That was a perfect opportunity for her to step up and something but she chose not to.

She knows what she did.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Cmon J9! I agree with the girls here J9. Knights in shining armour behave in an honourable and polite manner all the time...You know...all of us are carrying a bug of feeling/emotions with ourselves: rejections, frustrations, depression, what else...there“s no need to be so judgmental.

Just relax, another day and another lesson learnt.

Keep shining


WW H(me): 53
W: 48
T: 27 M: 22
S: 18
Piecing since 03/2016
Saw the light in the storm
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