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Joined: Nov 2017
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J,

Dont let anyone pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable with. You already did better than me, after I would of seen her I just would of said, sorry but your not what i expected from your pictures and I would of thanked her for coming and just left. Funny when that happens i never get a text afterwards saying anything. it only has happened twice and I leave because i am not going to waste money, they had already wasted my time. Also, coming from a enlightened perspective I treat people the way i would liked to be treated. So i would respond to her with, a Thankyou but I just wasnt feeling it between us. Best of luck to you...

For instance Tuesday I asked a lady out for tonight and she said it was her sons 19th b-day this weekend so she wasnt sure if he wanted to do something friday night for his birthday, but she said she would let me know. So we message during the week and I dont bring it up. Well today I still havent heard a response about the date, figure she has a low interest level, so I message her, hey dont worry about tonight. I figured you wanted some time with your son, so I went ahead and made other plans. I am free sunday if you want to do brunch or coffee. Lol she would always respond but she didnt after this message so I am sure she is pissed. Oh well not my issue.

Rexgm


M:43 W:33
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BD 8/12/17
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I am more like ginger and dawn. I like to give pics that i really look myself in or even ones where i am super casual no makeup so that no one would be disappointed. I would never use filters or anything liket that. (Its one of the advantages to me being a pretty negative and cynical personality...i am not afraid of reality)

But a few points..

1. Filtered, professional pics are pretty obvious. If you only see that, you cannot expect they are gonna really look like that. That is like believeing actresses really look IRL as they do in the magazines with professional hair and makeup and lighting and filters.

2. I dont necessarily know that people are lying intentionally. I think that many of them just dont have that awareness. Like they believe what they want to see. They are not trying to deceive but maybe in denial of those 10 lbs? Or they truly see themselves as their best pic.

3. Whats with the guys and height??? Omg. You automatically have to subtract an inch or 2. Height is a very objrctive measurement. Weight, you have to take into consideration muscle mass, where the curves are, angles, clothing etc. So might be a bit more difficult for some. Age too. If soneone is lying about age. That is blatantly deceitful.


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Maybe OLD isn't for me as I am brutally honest. I am 6'2, 230 and all my pictures are within the last year. I have 6 up, full body shots, including me playing basketball, me and a buddy riding bikes, and another on the lake riding a jet ski. The 2 most recent ones are from Easter and this summer. I guess I am a unicorn smile

I agree....I don't think it is intentional as some may have put those pics up when they joined the site however I would hope people would be self-aware. A lot of ladies put pictures up of them from 2 years ago when they were on vacation with their hubby and do a bad job of cropping him out.

The filtered ones are very obvious....I just would hope that at minimum people would be aware and put something up that is recent but I guess not or it depends on the person.

If they are all head shots I bypass and they must show something so I can get a sense of how they look.

IDK maybe I am too picky like G suggested.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
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I hate that this is true, but i am pretty sure that with dating there is a bit of a league or class system people have to be realistic about. Especially at our age.

So if one is a fairly attractive 40 year old female, she cant expect to get a 40 year old attractive and wealthy man. Lets be realistic. They are gonna go for 30 year olds. And if they are very wealthy, they can go for 20 year olds. But she can date older or give up on the looks or the money. If she is attractive she will be able to date younger guys, but they will have no money and i would be afraid to if child bearing was on the table for either 1.

If you are an attractive male but not wealthy your shot at a young attractive 30 year old is not as high. Many women are gonna care more about a mans wealth then their looks. Many men are gonna care more about a females weight and looks.

Now of course you can reach high. But the odds are also higher for dissapointment and rejection.
You also have to consider the sense of entitlement that people that are wealthy or extremely good looking have. Will they themselves be faithful? And knowing that looks and wealth are not guarantees either. She can get an injury and gain weight. Markets can go down or a bad risk and he can lose everything.

Now this seems to be true with OLD.

When we meet people IRL, you develop crushes or respect or admiration for who the person is. When you go out and maybe work on friendships itbhas the potential to develp differently cause the superficial stuff and league system doesnt get in the way. You are kearning who the actual person is. But with OLD i dont know that there is actually time for that.


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J......I agree with you 100%. I make 6 figures and most of who reaches out to me are ladies that make in the 50k to 75k range and those in thier 20s. For some reason a tend to attract a lot of teachers. With that said I had a lady reach out to me this morning who lives in my town, we go to the same gym, and she makes 150k plus. So I assume she could not find a man she liked in her range and she doesn’t want to carry someone either. So I guess that does happen from time to time unless she is not attractive......hopefully she is and is a unicorn! I have another lady that reached out to me as well that I am chatting with who is a teacher:)

Hopefully 3 pm goes well but truthfully I really don’t care.......it’s just something to do.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Just to add I am don’t need a super model nor is that what I am looking for........I just need to feel some attraction, something to work with that can build the more I get to know someone. I can’t say to myself oh hell no the minute they walk in the door......I would’ve fine with...ok I can work with this.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Man.... you get into salary and what not that quick? I would never bring it up and if they ask me it’s probably an instant ignore regardless of how hot she is. I feel like that is something for way way waaaaay down the line. Guess I got some learning to do.

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OH ok.. I see this is in reference to online dating so there must be an option to select how much you make. I would still answer 'prefer not to answer' whether I made 2$ or a million. The absolute last thing in the world that I would want is someone being drawn to me because of money. I'd much rather get into way down the line when I know she likes me for me and then she can be surprised by it. Ugh... online dating is the worst!

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Sorry I accidently posted in H's thread. Finally a great date and she wants to see me again. I got my first date kiss! She was cute and her personality was awesome!


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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Sweet man!! Good luck!

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