I'm a really creepy old guy with a preference for beautiful women in their mid-twenties who are educated, fun loving, witty, passionate and faithful. And, they need to have a well paying job. I'm having difficulty finding real women of substance for friendship, dating and possibly marriage. Do you have any suggestions?
Hang in there new women turn 21 every single day.
rexgm
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
Dude - you're putting WAY too much importance on a date. It's just DATING, it's just a chance to get to know someone better, it's not a Disney Princess Romantic Interlude!!! Have fun, relax, enjoy a night out.
Now - things to watch for (yes, dating is information gathering to see if this person might be someone you would like a relationship with): - does she have a good sense of humor? (Sorry, if someone doesn't "get" the jokes they're probably not for me, your mileage may vary) - can she let loose and really laugh? (Again, something I'm looking for in a guy, you may prefer someone who doesn't guffaw loudly like me, but observe). - how much does she drink? (I'm not dissing people who enjoy social drinking - I do too - but this is also a chance to pick up on someone who may have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol) - how does she treat the waitress? (To me, it really matters how people treat others, especially people who are serving them. I've told the story before of how friends tried to set me up with their friend by inviting us both to a concert with them. But as we ate beforehand, the guy told my friend how she didn't have to leave a 20% tip - to a perfectly good waitress who had done a good job. And this guy was a chiropractor who made good money. Sorry, cheapness and lack of empathy don't work for me AT ALL).
So, I understand how you feel about your ex's new BF and the kids gifts. I am going to play devil's advocate and not really say the guy is bad. Yeah, he dated someone who's divorce isn't final. I have my opinion on that. I don't think it is something that lowers someone's moral character. Many people do it knowing it's a matter of signing a document.
Now, really, I wouldn't date a guy who was separated because I feel like they really need some time being on their own (hence why I was hesitant to even date a newly divorced person). I dated when I was still technically married. My ex was deep in an R just waiting for the papers to be signed to move her in and propose to her. I knew our marriage was very over. But my fault was I knew I wasn't ready to date. I didn't feel like I was violating any sacred vows.
But your wife was wrong to send the kids in the gifts from her BF. Unless the kids insisted on wearing them. It just stinks all around. My daughter was flipping through pictures on her phone with me and there were selfies of all 3 of them in her bed. It still stings, after all these years. OWW has her FB cover photo of her and my D, her phone screen saver of the 3 of them. It will always sting. I am sorry someone else has to feel that pain. Today is actually the day they celebrate their "dating" anniversary (which I found out about only when they were engaged). I was 30 weeks pregnant in a high risk pregnancy living an hour away from my hospital and he never came home after work one night. I found out why one night when he left his email open on our computer when he used it to pull up a coupon to take our D out to dinner one night). I looked, and there was pictures from 7-20-07 of them at a baseball game with their arms around each other while I sat at home (actually drove 45 min to the train station to see fi his car was still there at 2am) thinking the father of my child was dead. He came home at 5am, mad at ME for being mad at him. Oh, both of their email address have that date in it.
Now for your date. I hope you had fun. I was a lot like you when I began dating, putting so much pressure on it. After a while, the nervousness went away, and I realized it was committed to nothing and when I took the pressure away from myself of having to "catch up" to ex, it got easier.
I wonder sometimes if my ex thinks in his head "10 years, and she still is single, no one must want her, I was right". I couldn't wait to show him I am lovable and someone could love me for me. It never happened. But I look at him, and while I think he may have gotten what he wants, he still seems miserable all the time. I am sure there are many other men I could have been miserable with. I was just sick of being miserable! Someone has got to add a special quality to my life. ANd if that takes 20 years, so be it, I guess.
Didn't mean to make that about me, but I can empathize. I have been there. There will be a lovely very lucky lady in your life one day. Don't rush it, and don't put pressure on it. ANd think outside the box a little. See, when my ex left, the first guy I dated was the total opposite in looks. I WANTED that. My ex was 5'7 and thin. This guy was 6'3" and an MMA fighter. (lord he was hot). But I always thought I could only be attracted to short thin guys..... turns out, I can be attracted to short or tall, muscular, chubby, white, back, Hispanic, Asian...……. who knew?!
Hey G.....well my pain is nothing like you experienced, I am sorry you had to go through that. I must say we had a lot of fun tonight, the comedy club was great and we went out to dinner afterwards. I am glad we went on a second date, she is really cool and laid back. I did feel my attraction for her increasing and we did kiss at the end of the night. I can tell she is shy and reserved, and I am sure it is hard for her as well after loosing her husband. I definitely will ask her out for a third date. I am really feel that I can be myself around her and that feels really good after what I went through the last year with thinking about what I needed to improve on after ew left me. I will still take it slow but I feel much better and I am starting to feel attracted to her.
I'm a really creepy old guy with a preference for beautiful women in their mid-twenties who are educated, fun loving, witty, passionate and faithful. And, they need to have a well paying job. I'm having difficulty finding real women of substance for friendship, dating and possibly marriage. Do you have any suggestions?
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I thought you were a beautiful 25 year old looking for a creepy old girl. How wrong can I be?
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hey G.....well my pain is nothing like you experienced, I am sorry you had to go through that. I must say we had a lot of fun tonight, the comedy club was great and we went out to dinner afterwards. I am glad we went on a second date, she is really cool and laid back. I did feel my attraction for her increasing and we did kiss at the end of the night. I can tell she is shy and reserved, and I am sure it is hard for her as well after loosing her husband. I definitely will ask her out for a third date. I am really feel that I can be myself around her and that feels really good after what I went through the last year with thinking about what I needed to improve on after ew left me. I will still take it slow but I feel much better and I am starting to feel attracted to her.
Sounds like ONE good date.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
