Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
O
OrangeK Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
O
OrangeK Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
I named the new thread Valhalla Cometh because i feel ascended.
I feel like the old me was slain, by the sheer weight of the Sitch, but like the phoenix, something new, vibrant and POWERFUL is rising from the ashes.

Or like the glorious dead, who are escorted to Odin's Halls of Valhalla by the Valkyrie, to train among other victorious dead in honor, awaiting the coming of Ragnarok (Divorce, lol)

I have a lot of healing left to do, and a lot of things to learn about myself, and to refine about myself.

But i feel like I am at least over the crux, i have hit "The Wall" and kept on running.

The wind is dying down, and the sailing should smooth out from here.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry for using like 7 different metaphors in one post lol.

Lastly, i feel like I am finally in a place to give sound adivce to others here.
I have made the mistakes, i have waded through the pain.

For any Newbie just reading my Sitch for the first time.
I still have a long road, but the posters here are NOT WRONG.

Follow Sandi's Rules
GAL
Do 180's FOR YOU.
Be the best you can be.

Also i just read a really neat article on why working out combats depression and the biological chemistry behind it.
Worth looking into, there is SCIENCE to back up the GAL/180's.

"So many people tiptoe through life, only to arrive safely at death"
~ Jermaine Evans


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
Orange - I sense power in your last post- Keep up the good work!!


M51 w50
T-20Yrs M-16Yrs
S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up
1 Awesum dog
BD 10/31/17
separate rooms 02/08/18
wife moved out 05/17/18

Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
O
OrangeK Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
Thanks LW. I feel alot more in control and empowered.
Still having to push back some anxiety feelings, but im en route to the marina to go out on the ocean with s3 right now. So im having a good day!


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 603
Orange - Enjoy the day with S and ride that wave!! You sound like you are in a much better place now!! Keep goin- brake off the rear view mirror and don't look back! Cheers!


M51 w50
T-20Yrs M-16Yrs
S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up
1 Awesum dog
BD 10/31/17
separate rooms 02/08/18
wife moved out 05/17/18

Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
O
OrangeK Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
Well. WIFE just came to my new place for the first time to pickup S3.
She was with OM.
SIL went outside with S3 to drop him off.
He was very upset and cried. Saying he wanted to stay here.
Fairly sure hes off share a bed with om and wife tonight.

She looks like crap. First time ive seen her face in person in 5 months.
Shes aged a lot.
Looks tired and worn.
Hair looks neglected.

Had a great weekend, but feeling.....meh.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
O
OrangeK Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
Had a good chat with SIL. Already feeling normal again. Gotta love having support.
Heading out to do my workout! Endorphin time.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 616
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 616
Originally Posted by OrangeK
Well. WIFE just came to my new place for the first time to pickup S3.
She was with OM.
SIL went outside with S3 to drop him off.
He was very upset and cried. Saying he wanted to stay here.
Fairly sure hes off share a bed with om and wife tonight.

She looks like crap. First time ive seen her face in person in 5 months.
Shes aged a lot.
Looks tired and worn.
Hair looks neglected.

Had a great weekend, but feeling.....meh.

I understand the feeling. Whenever mu W contacts me, it puts me in a meh mood. In person contact is even worse. My W also is looking tired and worn. The encounters are getting more tolerable though each time they happen. One of the perks of becomimg more and more detached...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,920
Likes: 2
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,920
Likes: 2
The encounters do get tolerable over time, but I honestly try and minimize them as much as possible. In the beginning it was hard to handle them emotionally and just keeping it all together, but over time it becomes pretty standard. I really don't care to see her as I move further away in the opposite direction.


No one is coming to save you!

Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,822
Likes: 226
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,822
Likes: 226
Dealing with an ex-GF many years ago, that liked to try and keep me attached as Plan B, I learned that if you feel like crap after interaction with someone, then likely they are never going to contribute an iota to your happiness. It helps to analyze that in order to let them go. Better yet, rather than just let them go, but also to PUSH them out of your life altogether.

Likely it is unsatisfactory because they are only giving you enough to try to keep you attached. And that is all they will ever give you.

Life is too short to waste energy on someone that only wants you around as a safety net.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard