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OrangeK Offline OP
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M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
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2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: OrangeK
Never ceases to amaze me.

Just got an email, and had a phone call with the director of my daycare.
WIFE hasn't paid the daycare tuition in 3 weeks.
Since June 4th. (we alternate paying each week, and a payment wasnt due for the week of July 4th)
I am up to date with my payments, i just confirmed that with the director. She keeps notes on which payments come from which Check #'s, so she knows who pays when. She also emailed a statement outlining this.
The daycare has shown time and time again that they see that I am the one doing the lions share of the parenting.
At the beginning the director was very short and cvold with me, i think WIFE had smeared me a bit to them, but the truth came out through time, and they have commented to me several times that "you are picking up all the slack, you're doing a great job"
which is very nice to hear.
I told the director, "Thanks for keeping me posted on all of this, please let me know if WIFE takes care of the payments, as if she does not, i will need to find another option for his care on Friday"


Just a bump of my last update on previous thread.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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I am glad it was liberating. But as Steve said, there will be a bit of a down phase as you cycle through it all. Just know that it's okay if it comes. You know everything you need to know.

With the day care situation, as I keep saying, the LBS has to get 100% self-reliant in all aspects. You cannot rely on them to follow through or do what needs to get done. This unfortunately has serious impact on your son and also on you. I am glad that you are using this through a solution-based lens instead of just raging about what W did.

I don't rely on my W for nothing!! She wanted out, she got it. Complete and full.


No one is coming to save you!

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Not sure how often you check your email, but it ight not be a good idea to block her number. I understand why you would want to, but I would want to have that line of communication open in case there was a serious emergency. If S was seriously injured and in the hospital you would probably want to know immediately. Maybe just tell her to use email unless it is an extreme emergency...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
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In regard to the daycare payments. Make sure you document this. Get something in writing from the daycare saying you have made your payments and she has not made hers. This may be helpful later in court...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
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Quote:
I don't rely on my W for nothing!! She wanted out, she got it. Complete and full.


Amen......When I have my kids I do not reach out to her for anything. If I do it is because she forgot to pack something that goes back and forth between the houses.

When she has them though it is a completely different story. During her weeks I usually her from her every other day with a question about something, sending me a picture or making a joke about something. SMH.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: mtb1981
Not sure how often you check your email, but it ight not be a good idea to block her number. I understand why you would want to, but I would want to have that line of communication open in case there was a serious emergency. If S was seriously injured and in the hospital you would probably want to know immediately. Maybe just tell her to use email unless it is an extreme emergency...


I unblock it for a moment a few times a day, so that way any incoming messages still get received. It still gets the blocked messages, and you see them when you unblock. I just dont get alerted immediately and thrown off by any random petty messages from her. Also if it were a true emergency she knows my Office line #, or could have MIL reach out.
I told her to use email last week and she agreed, then proceeded to text me several times.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Maika
I am glad it was liberating. But as Steve said, there will be a bit of a down phase as you cycle through it all. Just know that it's okay if it comes. You know everything you need to know.

With the day care situation, as I keep saying, the LBS has to get 100% self-reliant in all aspects. You cannot rely on them to follow through or do what needs to get done. This unfortunately has serious impact on your son and also on you. I am glad that you are using this through a solution-based lens instead of just raging about what W did.

I don't rely on my W for nothing!! She wanted out, she got it. Complete and full.


I am glad the Daycare keeps me posted, but im not paying her bill for her. If she doesnt pay today, she cannot drop him off on Thursday, so she needs to figure out an option. If i need to I will take the day off on Friday if she hasnt paid yet, i wont mind a day off with S3. smile


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
O
OrangeK Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: mtb1981
In regard to the daycare payments. Make sure you document this. Get something in writing from the daycare saying you have made your payments and she has not made hers. This may be helpful later in court...


The daycare director sent me an itemized invoice statement, to both WIFE and myself, she highlighted all MY payments and showed were WIFE's were missing.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Joseph9
Quote:
I don't rely on my W for nothing!! She wanted out, she got it. Complete and full.


Amen......When I have my kids I do not reach out to her for anything. If I do it is because she forgot to pack something that goes back and forth between the houses.

When she has them though it is a completely different story. During her weeks I usually her from her every other day with a question about something, sending me a picture or making a joke about something. SMH.


WIFE does the same thing, usually finds some minor thing to complain about or "Where is the shark tee shirt"
stuff like that.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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