Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 8 of 11 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
B
ballast Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
There is no hope for me and W. We had a new arrangement planned for watching of D. It was to start with me, but now W wants to start. As I am trying to take the higher ground I acquiesced. Bottom line though her anger...I simply want to be done with her now. Dealing with the sheer rage/hatred from W each day is no way to live. I'm envious of the other LBHs on here who at least have some degree of civility from the WW especially when it comes to matters of co-parenting. I've never seen/dealt with an ex so completely consumed by anger as she is.


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
Go Greystone my friend.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
B
ballast Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
LOL...so I have NO IDEA what that means!! :-)


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
O
Member
Offline
Member
O
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
Look it up. Be as boring as a grey stone. show no emotions. give no reactions. Stick to yes, no, Who what were and when. Only when necessary. you dont need to deal with anger and abuse.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
B
ballast Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
Thanks Orange...THAT I get!


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,920
Likes: 2
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,920
Likes: 2
B, my W was consumed by rage and anger all the way through. What worked was coming to an understanding about the kids stuff and then following it. I also became hella proactive about the kids and co parenting stuff and would keep her in the loop and vice versa. But I did it very business like and kept it that way. And about the anger, I just got out of the way man. I disappeared as much as I could.

So, my take is, get everything hammered out as soon as possible and then be proactive and keep at it. And then get out of her way and stay as dark as possible. Then she has no avenue to rage at you. And if she does, and if it isn't about the kids, the validate and get out of the way.

I am not saying it's easy. None whatsoever. But with their rage, they can only project it out on to you if you are there engaging with them. Once you refuse to play that game, they gotta handle their own business and figure it out. It took months, but W has mellowed out. Also, you start learning how to stand up for yourself and handle all the rage. Once she realizes it doesn't have the desired effect on you, it will stop.


No one is coming to save you!

Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,152
Likes: 1
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,152
Likes: 1
Originally Posted By: ballast
Bottom line though her anger...I simply want to be done with her now. Dealing with the sheer rage/hatred from W each day is no way to live. I'm envious of the other LBHs on here who at least have some degree of civility from the WW especially when it comes to matters of co-parenting. I've never seen/dealt with an ex so completely consumed by anger as she is.


My ex never did the rage thing but it does happen a lot and it does sound absolutely miserable. This is tough enough to go through without that! Sometimes they do it to "help you move on" and if that's the case it will get better with time. But sometimes they are just a B. Hopefully it's the former and not the latter!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
Let me be clear on this. WW (waywards) normally show no respect, walkaways are different.

Don't confuse the two wayward and walkaway. You need to know which you are dealing with.

Rage is about CONTROL not anger. It's abusive and manipulative.

If you had a two year old throwing a tantrum you would know what to do. Children grow out of tantrums which they thrash to get their own way.

Seeing a fully grown adult rage is terrifying and hilarious at the same time.

Don't kid yourself it is nasty and intended deliberately to intimidate. I recorded the G in this mode and applied for a non mol based on it. It's nuts and crazy loco.

As Maika said get out of the way and as Orange clearly stated grey rock is a good tactic. Also Google BIFF and NC.

Stay safe.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
B
ballast Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
V...so I have no idea if W has an EA/PA which means I do not know if she is WW or WAS. I would assume WW. There was no abuse or anything besides W saying I am unhappy. I have gotten ZERO from W since beyond high selfishness and desire to control whom I talk to within her family.

Last edited by Cadet; 06/20/18 09:33 AM. Reason: restored post

Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
B
ballast Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 776
Cadet little help on a missing post?


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
Page 8 of 11 1 2 6 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard