No it s not a pattern , I have until now always stated I do not want a divorce. I am getting IC and working on being the best version of me so I am genuinely happy and calm. He does not call around to the house apart from visitation drop off and collection.
Last edited by Cadet; 06/15/1802:22 AM. Reason: restored post
I will try again as my post seems to have come up blank. Fidelity was never an issue when we were together. He has said now his anger has subsided he would like to meet to talk and start from the basis of friendship. When he asks me out am I just supposed to say an outright no or say no and give a reason.
I will try again as my post seems to have come up blank. Fidelity was never an issue when we were together. He has said now his anger has subsided he would like to meet to talk and start from the basis of friendship. When he asks me out am I just supposed to say an outright no or say no and give a reason.
Did you read Sandi's post? When he asks you out then tell him you are not interested, that as long as he is with OW and "confused" then you are done catering to him. Here's the thing, people want what they can't have. As soon as you make yourself unavailable to him and you start going out and getting a life then you become a whole lot more interesting to him. You can't "nice" him back and you can't "sex" him back and you can't win a contest against OW. But you CAN detach, GAL, leave him to his mess and take control of your life. You do that and he may start wondering what he's missing.
One more thing- this "let's be friends" BS is just his attempt to have his cake (OW) and eat it too (you). Tell him friendship is not an option, that you two will be coparents and will have to have some minimum amount of contact for that but that beyond that you are not interested in being his pal. I can't stress this enough, you have got to be firm on this, and consistent. Don't do it to bring him back, do it because it is what is best and healthiest for YOU. DETACH!
I am doing quite well at detaching. H said that he wants to see me in a regular basis but things went too far last time and it has confused us both. He has suggested letting the dust settle and then start seeing each other to build on our friendship. This is a regular pattern that he has followed every time he has left. He asks to be friends and then asks to come home. He has said this way we can build up trust and he feels he can be honest with me. I have said that whilst he is seeing someone else I do not think we can meet and talk.
