Thanks for the response. And distance is my only option at this point. I can't force him to come home. Or try to work things out. It's really difficult at this point. We have talked enough that I think he knows that the only way to work out is to try. But the thought seems to scare him off. Typically when I pull back he will reach out but I think he is aware that this is coming to a head so to speak. As frustrated as I get I can honestly say that I do think that he is upset by all of this. I don't think that he doesn't care is completely done. He just doesn't want to put any effort in. Doesn't seem to want to make any commitment. But doesn't want me to move on either.
I know we are both tired. I know I am at least. I'm so alone. It's frustrating.
I'm not sure how you all do it. Every hour I feel different. Sad. Mad. Bitter. Over it. Hopeful. Confident. Regretful. All of it. Ugh.
It's so exhausting isn't it? I have those same feelings you do, even when I work on myself and distancing. Today H asked me how I'm feeling because he knows I have a cold. I wanted so badly to ask, "What do you care? You left."
I'm so sorry you're going through this crap too, it truly [censored] and I wish there was help and advice that makes the hurt fade a bit so we can make sense of this nonsense.
Together for 13 years, married for 8. H is 46 I'm 40 S is 6 Bombdrop in April 2018 Still in limbo as of 2019
No crap. I'm straight loony toons over this mess. I always get this way when I haven't heard from him all week. I know people say ignoring them works but I'm not so sure.
I'm not sure how you all do it. Every hour I feel different. Sad. Mad. Bitter. Over it. Hopeful. Confident. Regretful. All of it. Ugh.
We've all been there. It really is an emotional roller-coaster ride. No better way to describe it. Highest of highs, lowest of lows, and everything in between.
But you have to keep getting out of bed and face the day. Also this is why GAL is so important. Keep your mind occupied.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Loves77, You're doing great, even though it feels like crap. ((hugs)) The worst part for me is his two step forward one step back, or when he dumps crap on me when he sees that I'm doing okay and being positive. Does yours do that too? It's so hard to ignore but the books help put things in perspective.
Together for 13 years, married for 8. H is 46 I'm 40 S is 6 Bombdrop in April 2018 Still in limbo as of 2019
Well, honestly I felt like I messed up. A month ago he was coming around and progress was being made. At the time, I told him I couldn't be his friend like that. So I'm feeling like that might have been a mistake. But I can't go back now ya know? Since I started work it feels like every week some crazy scenario blows up. It stresses us both out. He closes down when stressed. So that make it harder on me when I do t hear from him. I think in the times where I'm upset I think it's just soooooo over but when I look at the big picture, he really does stay in the picture. It might not be to the level I want right now but I know that he hasn't completely let go. I think he's stressed and confused just as much as I am.
I sent him a pic of the baby yesterday. We texted back and forth some and confirmed Father's Day times. Today I asked him about a scenario involving a friend and getting a job where he works. Some back round - another person applied for the position and got the job. That person messaged me telling me about it, -and was asking if we were still together. I just avoided the question. I did however let him know that the other person, not our friend, got the job. He ended up asking why he was messaging me. And that he didn't remember me and that person being friends like that. I'm thinking that he was jealous. Lol.
So.... hopefully I can hang on some more. It's just so hard.
I'm having a rough day. I always think that time will help. I feel like I'll never get out of this funk. I just want him to come home. I don't feel like I will ever be able to move on until he comes back. Im just so emotionally upset and just through daily motions of getting by. I don't get how just a month ago he was telling family about coming home and even last week was mentioning it to me. How can it just flip lie that? 😭😭😭
