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LOL - The only passion in my life right now is the cat that is insisting on early morning belly rubs laugh

I believe it is Don that has a cutie. Although my cat is pretty cute too.


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Don,

Does this mean you won't be inviting me to go on a cruise with you?

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DonH Offline OP
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Who in the h@ll is Amdrew? I'm confused.

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Oh Andrew from Canada, I get it now.

KML I'm with you. So far it's been a pretty good balance of her reaching out to me - not only me to her. It's just so much the opposite of OLD. I've know her aunt and her late uncle for nearly 30 years. I still see her aunt a few times a year. In fact, she introduced us a year ago. We texted a bit, she told her parents so when they would see me they would say hi. Things just never got started since we had only met once, briefly and never ran into each other again. She lives about an hour away from me. I had seen her around and noticed her a few times over the last few years but had no clue who her relatives were until I saw her with her aunt last year and walked over so I could meet her.

She does not violate any of my deal breakers but I really only have three. She's 12 years younger than me at 43. Everyone tells me that's not an issue and while I've dated younger more often than not, 12 years is among the youngest. I don't know for sure she won't check other boxes - just a guess. Thing is, I wonder what she thinks of dating someone 12 years older? I am not going to ask. smile

Might be hard to explain but I've often dated above my grade. Remember, I don't settle. She's not really below, but not above either. If I have a type it's taller blondes. She's like 5' 2"" dark hair. But it does not matter to me one bit, I just like her - so far anyhow. And no, Don does not rescue or do hot messes. The fact that there seem to be so many out there is why I'm quick to toss them back. Hoping that doesn't appear here. I clearly have approval of her parents and preliminary approval of her BFF so good start. Woke up this morning to a text from her. Been at least a year since that's happened With me liking it. It's happened quite a bit with others but my reaction has been "whatever" or, grrr again, give me some space. Lol

And Doodler, I hate to break it to you, but you didn't make the list of considerations. Sorry. Clearly new girl has been added - and towards the top. smile leaves about 4 or 5 others who are under consideration - or perhaps ate now backup plans?

Have not asked her out yet. I think they all head back home tonight. I happen to have Saturday open so we will see if you have our first solo date - since I've met her oar ends and family that's already out of the way. See how different all of this is? Different might be just what I've needed.


DonH
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You might have better success dating against your physical type (says the woman who has an extreme soft spot for 6'6" men lol). The important thing is that you find HER attractive and the rest doesn't really matter. (My exH was a blond surfer dude - not my type at all when I first met him - but I grew to find him very attractive while we were married. Funny - now, not at ALL!)

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Well, Don, this answers why you have been single for so many years......

Having a check box of physical attributes will limit your pool greatly! I think you might have been putting putting the physical checkboxes first, and writing them off before you even got to know them.

It's amazing how a chemistry and an attraction on an emotional level can make someone very beautiful on the outside that those check boxes don't matter at all!

I have no physical checkboxes. Well, I am not into the morbidly obese. Chubby guys? Sure, Muscular guys, yes. Short, sure, why not? Tall, yup, like them tall too! If I am pretty much not repulsed by someone I meet and have a connection with, I find them attractive.

I don't even think going against the grain matters. Just ditch your physical checkboxes. Amazing things will happen for you.

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Im with Ginger. At our age, the looks are going anyhow.

I personally looked more for shared morals regarding relationships. Not sure if that is enough though.

Don, whats your opinions on texting? This seems to be the modern female/male dating issue. Women want texts, men don't. Or find them annoying.


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I have only one physical check box. Liam. Other than that I am good.

And actually I think if you take extreme care of you then you move up the attractiveness and sexual value curve over time.

So I could end up being one of the hottest chicks on the block at 80. Why not? I am certainly going for it now. Just wait that revenge bod is gradually coming together.

Besides this journey is about discovering character not personality or sparkly looks. Although true beauty comes from the inside out. Look after you and the looks take care of themselves.

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Great points and I actually agree - but it's about so much more than physical boxes - with this current girl and with the others. I've said before, I'm picky and I just don't settle. That said, I am not into red heads at all yet dated two in the last couple years. The current girl's lack of box checking goes way beyond the physical. I don't want to sound like a snob but those I usually am attracted to and fit with are educated, good jobs, solid income. Now it's not ONLY THOSE things that attract me - at least I don't think it is. Instead, it's the type of people that achieve those things. It's their drive, motivation, morals, ethics, lack of drama, etc. That's the things I want.

Among the last girls I've dated - Data scientist for a huge USA retailer, six figures, masters degree; Head buyer for a national retail chain, again six figures, masters. School teacher with a doctorate. Not all of them are in this category but they often possess what I fit with. The current girl is not at all like this.

Now that said, I also agree that I may be limiting with looks early on. Yet, once I get to know them, the looks matter much less. Clearly if this was OLD, I highly doubt I'd have chosen the current girl. Perhaps that's yet another problem with OLD - it's so looks driven.

But with current girl, it's not only looks. It's my hunches about the other stuff. In this case, I have known her aunt and her parents before getting to know her and am figuring, well if she is like them, we'll be a good fit. Yet as I look at things, her job, her life history, etc. I had hunches she may not be what I fit with. Yet, I'm willing to go forward and still had these great feelings as we interacted.

And then the UPDATE: So we are going out this Saturday. She dropped a few hints but I was going to ask anyway so it worked out well. We then proceeded to text for like three hours last night. I wanted to get on the phone but she asked to stay on text so we did. There is your answer KML. I'd rather talk on the phone than text but as SHE later took the conversation rather sexual, I think she was more comfortable typing those things to me than speaking them directly???

And as you might guess, I'm continuing to learn things... and the picture is changing. It would appear I'm correct in that she is not my typical type - and according to her, I'm not her's either. Her BFF since kindergarten said "you were [I was] very welcoming and interesting and nothing I have ever experienced 🤣 so in other words not my normal type. I told her I was going to test it out and see lol. I have a feeling about you that makes me very curious"

I knew she was outgoing, but perhaps didn't' know how much. I'm getting a strong GGW vibe. It sounds like her last love may have been married - an old BF that left her, got married, wanted her back and told her what she wanted to hear - up until his wife became pregnant. I got a clear DTF vibe from her, let's just say that. In fact, she pretty much confirmed it. If she was still married, I'd say she was on a path to WAW or WW. Her BFF actually appears to be headed that way.

Still, I see this whole experience as good. It proves I can still have these feelings. On the bad side, every time I do, they are often for the wrong types as this has happened to me before. Or are all women just like this?????? I do best with the outgoing, fun girls. Problem is, they often don't have the other things I need. I am pretty sure what I was doing is since I really didn't know her, I was making her into what I hoped she was, together with what I know her family to be. Her parents would love to see me with her, that's obvious. But is the reason because I might be a stable, calming influence on their wild daughter? I really have to wonder.

So she has slid a notch on the cruise scale. On the other hand, as long as we are both on the same page, it could be a fun couple of dates or even a fun summer. I won't be falling in love, that's for sure, but that's good too as it's really not what I'm shooting for so it will be safer. When it ends with someone you really see a future with, it's much harder. Plus, I'll be less apt to stop looking at others just because I have one.

Now, before everyone goes off here - about 75% is still my guesses and gut reaction. I still need to confirm much of this. Just as she is not who I thought she may be when we first met a year ago, I may be wrong again now? Who knows? Time will tell and I'm just having fun with it - which it would seem is the exact same thing she is doing.

One last thing, we've talked about those guys on OLD who get sexual rather soon, send naked pics, etc. We've asked why would they do this - with it often turning girls who post here off. Well, could it be because there are girls like this one out there???? Just food for thought.


DonH
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Originally Posted By: DonH
Her parents would love to see me with her, that's obvious. But is the reason because I might be a stable, calming influence on their wild daughter? I really have to wonder.


I always thought you were a wild-child. I guess I was wrong.

Originally Posted By: DonH
So she has slid a notch on the cruise scale.


I put my thong back in my travel bag. I'm ready to go cruisin'.

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