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DonH #2797356 06/22/18 05:48 AM
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I agree with Joseph on this. It's gross when guys tell women they are hot on the first date. To me, it implies that the man is only interested in the woman as an object to satiate the man's need.


Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
Rose888 #2797374 06/22/18 07:19 AM
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Originally Posted By: Rose888
It's gross when guys tell women they are hot on the first date.


That is totally gross. I've been very fortunate, all of my dates look like Winston Churchill in drag. I avoid the word "hot" at all costs.

doodler #2797400 06/22/18 11:37 AM
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Some types of men are linear, if they think you are hot they will say so. It's their view of hot though and may not apply generally.

They think it's a compliment and it will endear you to them. It's a sort of verbal wolf whistle. I think look to the totality of the experience, even if he is on heat.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


doodler #2797404 06/22/18 12:55 PM
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Originally Posted By: doodler
That is totally gross. I've been very fortunate, all of my dates look like Winston Churchill in drag. I avoid the word "hot" at all costs.
I "thought" you were familiar laugh

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a proper version of the bow tie that Sir Winston wore? His official tailor flogs a version that has the wrong pattern. Not all navy blue polka-dotted bow ties are the same.

I of course have one that matches the many photographs of Sir Winston that he wore as a tribute to his father. I also used to enjoy a good cigar.

Sorry Ginger. This was more than a thread-jack - this was taking your thread in to the back alley, changing the tires, a fresh paint job and then offering it for sale at Honest AP's discount threads laugh


On BD
H52, W50
T27, M26
S21, D23
BD-9-Mar-16
D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18
I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good.
But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
AndrewP #2797432 06/23/18 01:36 AM
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Omg V, that story takes the cake!!!

Ginger - sounds like his story could be plausible. As a feminist, it really bugs me that we often see here women that dump their husbands because they're not as successful as the wife. The woman knows who she married but then when she has kids, is resentful that in order to stay home with her kids they would have to live on his salary.

Now the only red flag is if he has a career where he COULD have made more than 25% of her income but chose not to step up when she had kids - seems unlikely.

Most likely she married him to have kids then resented that he wasn't a CEO who could support her in the style to which she had become accustomed if she wanted to stay home with the kids; or he wasn't sufficiently powerful to show off on her arm at business related events. So unfair but as I said, a story I've seen here a lot.
As for the whole "hot" question - yes, women like compliments but the word "hot" on a first date implies you're only thinking about sex and not taking the time to get to know the person. You can say gorgeous or beautiful, but even then, don't belabor the point. I want to know a guy finds me attractive but I don't want to feel like he's only interested in what's on the outside and not on what's inside.

kml #2797603 06/25/18 12:53 AM
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So, I had a fabulous, busy, very GAL type of weekend, in which I neglected all of my domestic responsibilities. I don't regret it though.

My date. Well, wow! We hit it off amazingly well. He was incredibly well dressed and quite a gentleman. We started off at this speakeasy, but it had a very loud jazz band, and we were basically screaming at each other. So we moved to a new spot which was a little more intimate, with good drinks and a DJ. Our conversation was great, we flirted a lot, and we were definitely very attracted to each other. At one point, 2 sisters come sit next to him at the bar and were totally flirting with him, even with me right there. He's a very friendly out going guy and was talking to them, but I appreciated the way, he put his hand on my leg when he did. He is well lived, very intelligent, had different hobbies and talents. Above all he is a very dedicated father. He did tell me that he had no plans on dating and soley focusing on his kids, but when my cousin showed him the picture of the "beautiful brunette" he figured he didn't want to miss an opportunity.

Yes, there was some serious kissing, hand holding, all of that. It was pretty electric. he even said "I am not going to have to beg to see you again, right?" We will be seeing each other on Wednesday.

My cousin is away, but we were talking yesterday and she said I didn't just set you guys up because you are both single. I set you guys up because I though you would be a good match.

So, I have a small bit of security that has come with my most recent dating experiences. But I am hoping this second date happens and it as good as the first.

And I am sorry if that sounds "racist" but I totally understand the allure of nice black guy. Never did I see myself with one (usually not attracted) but oh, I am really attracted.

We shall see where this goes. Trust me, I don't get my hopes up, because making it past date one for me no matter how good, rarely happens these days. But this one is pretty genuine.

Less than a week until mexico!

Ginger1 #2797604 06/25/18 12:54 AM
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Oh, and to mention, he did tell me, "I believe I was meant to be a father and husband. I love it. But my partner was not in it with me"

Ginger1 #2797615 06/25/18 01:32 AM
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Originally Posted By: Ginger1
Oh, and to mention, he did tell me, "I believe I was meant to be a father and husband. I love it. But my partner was not in it with me"


That's a huge YES!

doodler #2797618 06/25/18 01:48 AM
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Sounds like a great date and a good guy!

doodler #2797620 06/25/18 01:50 AM
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That's great Ginger, very happy you had such a nice night. Where in Mexico are you going? I've always had a good time when I go there, beautiful water and very affordable pricing, good combination smile


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
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