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#2795034 06/09/18 02:48 PM
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Previous Thread:

Can't make this sh!t up


It's been an interesting day. I got a call from my real estate agent that saying the buyers pulled out of the original house I lost the bid on. They will consider an offer I put in before reopening it again. They will give it to me for asking. My dad and stepmother were in town for D10's dance recital and I got to take them to see it. They really love it and want to help me get it. So, we will go in full offer if we have to, but we are going to try to go 5k under asking. I can't believe it. This might actually happen. I will find out tomorrow. Bad news is my dad had a talk with me and said we will probably have to cancel the Niagara trip. He said we can maybe try next year. I guess I have to do what I have to do. This is really exciting, and also really scary.

Funny, also, at the dance recital, I took a picture of exH, OWW and D10. Never ever did I thought I would be taking picture of them as a family. It's not easy, I'll be honest. But it is what it is.

I do hope the tides are turning for me. I am ingrained to not expect a great outcome. Especially with men and living situations. I did worry about bumble guy today. He isn't all the communicative by text and my gut got a funny feeling. But he was at the pool all day and now he is hanging out with the guys. He sent me a pic of him doing a shot off of an ice luge..... and I said "Fun Saturday night!" He said "Not all that fun, you aren't here". So I feel a little better. I hate this part. Insecurity does get me. I did run through my head of any indication that he might not be interested. Oh, he showed some serious interest. I need to reel it in.

It's just so hard to not be hopeful good things are happening. I need to chill out and just see what happens.

Last edited by job; 06/10/18 12:35 AM. Reason: added link to previous thread
Ginger1 #2795041 06/09/18 03:40 PM
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Awww, such nice things they said about your daughter last thread.

And your date sounds great! I love that he's a good son.

I'll post about my date tonight on my thread; some interesting stories from his marriage.

kml #2795061 06/09/18 07:16 PM
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Looking forward to a catch up on your threads.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Ginger1 #2795063 06/09/18 07:20 PM
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Originally Posted By: Ginger1
It's been an interesting day. I got a call from my real estate agent that saying the buyers pulled out of the original house I lost the bid on. They will consider an offer I put in before reopening it again. They will give it to me for asking. My dad and stepmother were in town for D10's dance recital and I got to take them to see it. They really love it and want to help me get it. So, we will go in full offer if we have to, but we are going to try to go 5k under asking. I can't believe it. This might actually happen. I will find out tomorrow. Bad news is my dad had a talk with me and said we will probably have to cancel the Niagara trip. He said we can maybe try next year. I guess I have to do what I have to do. This is really exciting, and also really scary.

Funny, also, at the dance recital, I took a picture of exH, OWW and D10. Never ever did I thought I would be taking picture of them as a family. It's not easy, I'll be honest. But it is what it is.

I do hope the tides are turning for me. I am ingrained to not expect a great outcome. Especially with men and living situations. I did worry about bumble guy today. He isn't all the communicative by text and my gut got a funny feeling. But he was at the pool all day and now he is hanging out with the guys. He sent me a pic of him doing a shot off of an ice luge..... and I said "Fun Saturday night!" He said "Not all that fun, you aren't here". So I feel a little better. I hate this part. Insecurity does get me. I did run through my head of any indication that he might not be interested. Oh, he showed some serious interest. I need to reel it in.

It's just so hard to not be hopeful good things are happening. I need to chill out and just see what happens.



Firstly, thrilled for you about the house. Yeah! Go Ginger.


Lean back, be the quality lady you are and get on with your awesome life. You are enough.

It's dating, the flirting stage.

Flirt back.....

"Awwwwwww BG (bumble guy), one day you can demonstrate those moves to me!"

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Vanilla #2795182 06/11/18 12:18 AM
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Ginger1 Offline OP
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Thanks guys!

I am pretty much an emotional wreck right now. Partially due to PMS, and partially due to all the huge changes. I have been having lots of anxiety lately, which isn't common for me. Some is job related (the people here are kind of nuts and keep Fing with me), of course, the house situation, I am so nervous. The guy thing, well, our first date could not have gone better, but boy is he acting strange. I don't know what to trust anymore.

I let out this guttural cry last night. I mean, everything just inside of me came bursting out. I felt an actually grip of fear and pain on my heart. I can't explain it. All this stuff is quite frightening I am not in this with anyone but myself and I am scared. Today I will know more about the house. I actually sold my dining set last night. Ex H and I bought this beautiful dining set when we got married. Not everyone's taste, but we loved it. I finally got to use it again with this house because there is room. There won't be any room in the next place so it was time to go. The china cabinet and the table and chairs sold for $500. FB marketplace is great, I had inquires within minutes, and a family who lives 2 mi. away, came to see it, said it was beautiful and they will be sending it back to Europe with family. he is picking it up on wed. I will probably sell my twin bed in the extra bedroom and maybe my extra sofa. More money for new furniture I'll need for storage.

I am need to just relax someone, but the anxiety and fear are kind of bad. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. The last time I felt this way was with my stressful homecare/hospice job. Atleast I lost a whole bunch of weight from the stress back then.

We will see how things unfold today. It's going to be a very pivotal week.

Ginger1 #2795191 06/11/18 12:34 AM
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Ginger,

I've found that when life becomes overwhelming, having a backup plan really helps. I keep an old shopping cart in my garage that's stocked with bottled water, a blanket, a raincoat and a handwritten cardboard sign that says, "Need money for food and dresses. God bless."

doodler #2795205 06/11/18 01:18 AM
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Moving, buying a home...these are are huge stressors and life changes. Feeling anxiety is normal ginger.

Im glad that a home is now a real possibility for you. Think in terms of real possibilities. Worst case scenarios and realize, no matter what happens you will get through it. Might not be ideal, but you will survive.

Although, i think everything will work out ok. And im excited for you. You will have equity!!! And as a aingle mom living in one of the most expensive areas of the country. That is awesome.

As for that guy, glad the date went well. But don't put all your eggs in one basket. Take it slow. Keep it light.
As you get to know him i would try to find out

1. What hes looking for at this point in his life? Long term serious relationship or laid back party with friends causual dating lifestyle? Some guys at this stage dont really want a blending of lives. They dont mind monogamy but dont want committment either. I would find out, but maybe not the first few dates. Make sure you guys wamt the same things before investing.

2. Im a firm believer in waiting on the physical until you know what they are about. It keeps you less invested. It keeps emotions out of it while you are getting a feeling about what the person is like.

Kind of like a job interview. Find out what it entails before you start getting friendly with coworkers and patients.

Also, just like with jobs when you have other options..when you dont need that one you come across as more valuable. It kind of shines through. People sense it.

2. How does he share custody? This tells a lot i think.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
JujuB #2795361 06/11/18 10:53 AM
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Hello my friend. So lots going on in your life. I totally understand the anxiety. Purchasing a home is stressful..doing it on your own..doubly.

Here's what I know about you. You always land on your feet. You may worry and freak out some, but, when the time comes..you figure it out.

So trust yourself. You can handle anything. Just look at what you have already survived in your life. I am thinking that in the grand scheme of stuff you have overcome that this house is not nearly as monumental as the other things you have dealt with.

If this happens, you can do it, G. You will do it. I am not in any way trying to trivialize the scope of this. I just know you. You are Brooklyn stock. smile

You got this, sweetie.

As far as the guy, trust your gut. I am sure it was a great first date. If he is acting funny...it could be any number of things. Nothing you can really do about them, though.

You learned the ropes. Leave him to figure it out or not. You just keep going.

Still rooting for you over here..and saying a prayer.

uRworthy #2795372 06/11/18 11:51 AM
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Glad to hear the house is circling back around G, but don't underestimate the opportunity them coming back to you gives you, you don't need to just jump to asking price... Don't be afraid to lose it, doing so can lead to over paying, don't go higher than your comfortable with. They have had a sale fall through, a solid offer from you will look enticing to them, they want to sell as badly as you want to buy.


M - 9 1/2 years
5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA
10/31/16 - We sold house
01/10/18 - D Finalized
Coconut #2795414 06/11/18 05:10 PM
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Ahhh, the guttural cry. Oh yes mine is more howling, distress.

Get it out, it's grief at it's most poignant. It's the scream in real life. I can't remember which film but one of the main characters used to go to the train line and scream.

It will pass. Peace will come.

You are making big changes to become a fully fledged independent Ginger with her own resources. This is a moment of rebirth. It's frightening I know and anxious making but it's terrific and wonderful too.

You got this.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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