Had no intention of saying ILY. It was more on all the things I felt I did in sandi reflections thread to make her lose respect for me. As I say being real critical of myself given her complete anger and silence towards me right now.
Do not vomit your feelings all over her. That BS only works in the movies. Stop wallowing and feeling sorry for yourself for the things you did and did not do. You did the best you could based on what you observed in the past.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start making a plan of action for what you can control in the FUTURE.
You are only 34 and have a full life ahead of you. What are you going to do with it?
LH, yeah I got it and I will keep it in. I know better, vent here safely, but keep it in check to her. Like I say she left, has not talked...seeing things I should have done better is tough and she could see them if she wanted to work with me, else a pretty lady in my future will benefit from her letting me go.
Always good to have a sandbox to vent in with friends to keep me safe!
Appreciate you all!
Last edited by Cadet; 06/14/1811:40 AM. Reason: restored post
Well day is almost done...not even a Happy Fathers Day text...women can be flat cruel...what did I do to deserve such complete disrespect...absolutely nothing.
I hope you other Dads with your WWs at least received some common decency for being the father of their children.
The sentiment - have zero expectations - gets around quite a bit on these forums. Usually, it is in the context of doing 180s and not improving yourself, and if your partner notices, then not to have any expectations that this is going to lead to something.
I believe this is also another layer of meaning within that sentiment - build self reliance. For me, this has been one of my most important goals. I don't expect anything from W and also do not rely on her for anything. Of course you have to collaborate for co-parenting and what not, but I pretend that I am a single dad and use that mentality to plan for everything around my kids, and also my life.
In this particular case, why does it matter to you if she sent a text? Who are the most important people in your life that this day is kinda dedicated for - your children. So, why would you focus on whether or not she validates you as a good father, but rather how do your kids validate that for you. And how do they see you and what are you going to do during this day with them?
I could care less if my W says anything about it to me. I saw her today and she didn't wish me or say anything about it. Guess what - it didn't even faze me because I was having way too much fun with my kids and they were super psyched about spending all day with me doing things.
Stop focusing on her. Stop relying on her to validate you as a person, father, partner, friend etc. Develop your self reliance and self worth. If you feel your relationships need improvement as a father, friend, son etc, then focus on that and get that in order.
Honestly, stop giving 2 $hits about what she says or does not. If she had wished you or sent a text, you could've easily turned it around and said that she's being shallow and just saying things out of obligation - there's no winning here with this thinking and waiting on her. Forget her and do your thing with people who want you in their lives.
Well day is almost done...not even a Happy Fathers Day text...women can be flat cruel...what did I do to deserve such complete disrespect...absolutely nothing.
I hope you other Dads with your WWs at least received some common decency for being the father of their children.
No offense. But you aren't her father.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Well day is almost done...not even a Happy Fathers Day text...women can be flat cruel...what did I do to deserve such complete disrespect...absolutely nothing.
I hope you other Dads with your WWs at least received some common decency for being the father of their children.
I was commanded by WW to inform her next time i put a pull up on S3 instead of a regular diaper, as they hold less and she felt she deserves specific forewarning as such, as opposed to just checking herself, not a peep about Fathers Day though.
But like Makia said, Zero Expectations. Women who will bail on their home and family of their 3YO Son before thinking about the impact on the child arent going to put much sentimental stock in Fathers Day im thinking.
Don't let it make you backslide, keep doing you and S3. All that matters.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Well day is almost done...not even a Happy Fathers Day text...women can be flat cruel...what did I do to deserve such complete disrespect...absolutely nothing.
Very sorry, I know it hurts but it is also very typical of a WAS. She doesn't want to give you "the wrong idea". Right now she's afraid to do or say anything that might be construed as her reaching out to you. You're both still sorting out where you stand and how you move forward from here. At some point whether you recon or not she'll likely relax her attitude and be more like her old self. It took my ex a couple of years to come to accept she can wish me a happy father's day or birthday without worrying about me wondering if it was an invitation to recon, LOL! I know it sounds silly but that's how they think.
Maika, Steve, Orange...thank you for your replies. Bottom line is that I respected her enough to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, thought she would have enough respect for me as D's father to do the same. Guess not.
I definitely get each of your points. I guess I had an expectation and clearly should not have. Actions like that, meh hope is hard. As you all say I'll just keep focusing on myself and D and keep on going. It is what is.
Thank you Stander! With me having D this weekend, first thing on Saturday W hit me up about needing some information for our car insurance to split up. For sure she knew by doing that, she would likely get me thinking about us and not having fun with D. I simply replied back with the requested answer and moved on to having a great time with my D. This whole "sorting out" if you say that's what it is, right now it seems like passive/aggressive (vindictiveness) from W. I had heard this anger was a phase...just trying to keep an even keel and keep a LONG TERM perspective. Dealing with the day to day negatives is a no win game. Haven't seen an UP on the roller coaster in some time anyway.
