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#2794514 06/07/18 12:49 AM
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Cadet new thread created as requested. Can you link my priors?

Steve, W silence is like water off this duck. I will not give up HOPE! (Thanks Stander!)



previous threads
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2791963#Post2791963

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...806#Post2788806

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2786324#Post2786324

Last edited by Cadet; 06/07/18 01:19 AM. Reason: Link

Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
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Stander that is sad that your W did it to try to help you. For me seems at least pretty clear cause and effect. W was open prior to ring removal, but once off W flipped to what I am dealing with now.

Last edited by Cadet; 06/07/18 02:46 AM. Reason: restored post

Me:34 W:40
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D Final: 6/19
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Originally Posted By: ballast
Stander that is sad that your W did it to try to help you. For me seems at least pretty clear cause and effect. W was open prior to ring removal, but once off W flipped to what I am dealing with now.


Yeah the mind of a WAS is a strange place. I mean she said it was to "help" me, but really it was to help herself. She wanted out of the M but wanted me to do all the hard work, so let's treat H like crap and maybe he'll buy in and initiate the D.

Yes your W flipped to what she is now, but why are you so convinced she can't flip back again? Do you flip your light switch and think "well great, that's it, my lights went out and will never go back on again" grin Women CAN and DO change their minds and then change them back again. I've heard and read so many stories about WAS's doing a 180 but it was the LBS that decided not to recon. You simply don''t know the outcome. None of us do. I've been in a new R for over 3 years now, but I can't tell you where that R will be in 6 months or a year. I mean I think I know, but she could go rogue like my ex did or die in a car accident, or who knows what. What I learned from my experience is to continue to let people into your life and love them, but always maintain your independence too. You need to be able to change and adapt as life throws crap sandwiches at you, because it WILL.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Honestly W getting so ticked off at me taking off my ring surprised me. She is a very stubborn, nothing bothers her personality outwardly and she sells that as how she is like a badge of honor. BUT there IS a softer emotional side within her but her showing it would invalidate the tough girl persona everyone thinks she has. So my gut is that it would be very hard for her to change her mind as she has made her decision to leave and changing back would make her feel all who know her think she was not as strong and determined and right as she thinks she is.


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
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D Final: 6/19
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Well LOL the silence continues...and I even said hello! The trauma caused me to go out for beers and dinner!


Me:34 W:40
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D Final: 6/19
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The silent treatment is a phase, in order to protect W or its controlling or ........

Don't mind read on it. Just brush it off with humour, it's childish at best. She is going to Co parent, it will be court mandated.

Just treat it as you might a sulky teenager.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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V,

Thank you! Yep, like I say last night I just closed the door behind W as she left and then went out and had a great dinner. Ended up bumping into some of her family who asked me to join them and had a greater time than expected.

Sad really, childish as you say. Protection from what...meh. W wanted this situation. As she has it now, why so miserable then...anyway I paid it no mind. Her acting like this has been great for my detaching.


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
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So two questions on scenarios...

1) A nephew graduates next week and there's a party at her sister's house. Given our current status I don't think I'm going to attend. I don't want our sitch to make anyone/anything uncomfortable during what should only be a happy event. No idea if she would even go.

2) I've been spending time out with my parents. My family is a great source of strength and support for me during this time. Would you think she would think me a wuss for doing so, a stronger man would not take off to his folks, but rather would stay at his place and GAL/enjoy?


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If the party is at her sisters house I probably wouldnt go, unless the family or sister would really like you there. Even in that case I would only go if you could go and be upbeat and positive and not focused on your sitch.

Regarding the second one, that is just silly. Of course you should be relying on your family at this point in time. Dont mindread what she might be thinking or not. If spending time with your parents makes you stronger and happier that is exactly what you need to be doing. I know that I am talking on the phone with my parents who live 10 hours away, nearly every other day for similar reasons. They are my rocks. For me that is the epitome of GALing, you are getting on with your life and spending time with people who make you happy and feel secure.


W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
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[censored] when you get pics of your D from Ws family and you can not be there with them...


Me:34 W:40
D1:4
M:7 T:8
BD:3/18
D Final: 6/19
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