IH, that last comment from her is a bit of a double-edged sword. I would let things rest for a bit. Likely she caught herself with that comment and realized things had gone a little further than she was currently comfortable with.
However, IH, I do think she might be a bit horny. (Sorry if that is a bit strongly worded.) Which is why she sent the original picture likely hoping things would go where they went. I think you said yesterday that she was always pretty forward about sex and what she wanted.
This is all very interesting though, and overall I think the actions of yesterday were very encouraging.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Hi Steve, Yes my friend I agree. There was more to that text yesterday than just making me laugh. She specifically chose to send such a pic to me. That's curious for sure. I do intend to let it rest though. We'll see what her next text is whenever she sends it. For now all's quiet today.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
IH, that last comment from her is a bit of a double-edged sword. I would let things rest for a bit. Likely she caught herself with that comment and realized things had gone a little further than she was currently comfortable with.
i agree... to me it comes across as her realizing she needs to rein it back in... which might be why she stopped responding... i think it's okay that you are not ALWAYS the one to cut it off first... i still think you are somewhat in the friend zone... to me, she seems to be temp checking... you need to "pull back," and let her want you as more than a buddy ol' pal... as more than "her ex..." go back to GAL... stop focusing on her, and yes--your certainly are focusing on her...
ItHurts, sorry about your situation. Seems like there are some positives still happening!
I just wanted to say that I read your whole situation, and it was what convinced me to join the site. Thanks for putting yourself out there like you did.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Well I always let thing rest...this is what I don't understand. I never initiate texting her or anything of the sort. So until she takes it upon herself to text me...as far as I'm concerned I am constantly letting it rest.
But this is another example of where it gets confusing. I have some here telling me she's "all but throwing herself at me," some telling me that there's people here who would love to be in my sitch right now but I'm going to blow it because of fear, and then there's people telling me I'm likely in the friend zone. If I am in the friend zone then my patience with her and this sitch is limited. You don't send your friend/ex husband, whom i would assume you don't want to send a wrong signal to, a pic with penises. That's insane to me. That's the last type of subject matter I would send to a girl that I wanted to be sure understood my motives are strictly friendship. She initiates this stuff on her own. I mean what kind of alternate reply would she have expected from me other than something sexual considering the subject of the pic.
I'm not playing these games with her. She's had four years to figure this out. She reached out to me and made contact again...and has been relentless in maintaining that contact all on her own. I have a limited tolerance for this friend zone crap. Sure I'd love to see us R at some point...but not at a cost of playing this friend zone game with her for months on end. I'm not getting any younger here. This is why I am so tempted to just tell her next time we're together that if she wants to slowly work things out together then fine. If not and you just want me to be your pal untik either of us is with someone else... sorry, not doing that. I respect myself too much.
She wants me in her life for a reason and she's made that abundantly clear since she first contacted me after our years of silence. I just don't think she wants to eat crow with everyone, her friends, family, etc by starting up with me again. But that's her issue to figure out but I am not sitting in her friend zone like a stooge waiting for her to decide. This is her chance, there won't be another. If we don't make this work this time, I will never revisit this again. I just refuse to play this game with her. If you want to be sure your ex-husband knows you just want to be friends...you don't send penis pics to him. End of story.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
IH, I think the confusion by us and you because her behavior is confusing. Like I said it reminds me of my exGF that was hot and cold for literally decades.
Her turning you down for the concert and Vegas doesn't square with sending the pic and her behavior most of the time you stayed the night. This is why I advocated an all or nothing conversation. That's the way I wish I had handled my ex that way years ago!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
ItHurts, I am not allowed to link other sites, but try googling the words 3 Signs That My Wife Wants to Reconcile
Maybe it will give you a different perspective.
Thanks Btrow. I looked up the site and based on that site my WAW definitely wants to R! She fits all 3 signs listed there perfectly. Just not sure how accurate those "signs" really are though.
Yes Steve, she is confusing me to no end. Obviously confusing others here too. There's evidence to support both "she's throwing herself at you" and "you're in the friend zone." I'm just getting frustrated with her. Why would she want a friendship with me that has an expiration bdate since we both admitted if we get with someone else we wouldn't be able to hang out anymore? I just don't know.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
